0:08

probably drinking and smoking weed when I was 15 years old Yeah, very young. And, and we know that affects the development of your brain, that can increase your chances of becoming addicted exponentially by something like 9 to 15%, depending on if it's alcohol or weed. Yeah, it was just fun at first, you know, for years. Um, but then it became a problem think the next thing's gonna make you happy and you get that thing and it doesn't. That is probably portion of the reason I am where I am in my business because I have that drive. But also that's why I got so deep into addiction because I'm zero to 100, Um- you, you give it your all what- no matter what it is, right? And that was the problem with, uh, with the cocaine at the end there is it, it was all or nothing, Today's guest spent 25 years chasing a high. What started with alcohol turned into cocaine, and for a quarter century, he believed the next win, the next dollar, the next toy would finally make the chasing stop, but it never did. Behind the success of building his own business, he was quietly drowning in depression and anxiety, convinced that money could fix what was actually a much deeper wound. Everything changed a few years ago when he made a decision that really terrified him. He called a helpline and asked to go far away, somewhere he couldn't run back to old habits. He'd never been away from his family for more than a week, but he knew this was life or death. That led him to 42 days of detox and treatment in New Jersey. He came home and has stayed in recovery ever since, not because it was easy, but because he finally learned something no amount of money had ever taught him. You have to find yourself and love yourself before you can truly love anyone else.

Today, he's up at 4: 2:06

00 AM every day at the gym

by 5: 2:09

00, facing life head on instead of burying it. Today's guest is Jason Granberg, owner and operator of Granberg Landscaping and Concrete, a family-owned business in South Dakota since 2004. This is a story about what happens when a person finally chooses themselves. Now, if you or someone you love is still in that chase, I hope today's conversation shows you it really can get better. Let's get into it. Jason, I am so grateful to meet you. Hey, how are we doing today? Good. Good. to meet you thank, thank you so much for your willingness to come on and to share your stories. I think it can give so much hope to others Yeah, I mean, that's kind of what I was hoping is through, uh, my trials and tribulations, I can help some, the next person. I mean, you know, I didn't know where to go for 25 years. You know, it started as, uh, just, uh, fun on the weekends, partying, you know, and it just trickles I think that's the case for a lot of people. It just starts with some partying, and some people can end it there, right? Like, some people are able to just sort of grow out of that lifestyle or just do a little partying and not have it affect the rest of their life. But for you, it got very serious. Can you talk about that and when and how that happened? I had pretty good control of it for quite a few years. I mean, obviously the alcohol was always an issue. Um, as far as the hard drugs, um, when I was younger, I did a lot of… I mean, I did, done meth back in the day. Um, you know, I was 17, 18, 19 years old. Um, got arrested for, uh, possession of marijuana. First, first and first time I'd ever been arrested. Um, went home and got rid of everything and never touched it since. And, um, you know, at that point I was like, "All right," you know, "Whatever." You know, I still did marijuana, drinking just casually. Um, then it just, you know, kinda kept, you know, you know, the depression and the, the stress of a business. Um, you know, I've been in business 18 years, and they say there's not such thing as a functioning addict. Uh, I would highly say there is, because I was 100% functioning addict. Ran a business with 20 employees. Um, did my everyday thing all the, every day, um, until the day I got sober. I, I did it, you know, um, and I just kept going and, and it kept getting deeper and, and I kept, you know… Um, at the end I wasn't doing so much drinking. I, I switched over to cocaine, and I was doing a lot of cocaine and gambling. Um, you know, and then I would start drinking. Um, you know, when I started drinking, it would lead to the cocaine, it would lead to the gambling. Um, and then I would go to the casino to hide. You know, that's kind of where my safe place was per se, um, just because nobody could find me, you know. Um, and I had a little more freedom than probably most because I was at work, but I'm the owner of the business. I can, I can get things going and I can leave and I can disappear. Um, you know, so, um, it's, it's one of those things where, you know, yeah, it was just fun at first, you know, for years. Um, but then it became a problem and then, you know, the last year was really, really bad at just the depression and anxiety and just, you know, you think, think the next thing's gonna make you happy and you get that thing and it doesn't. You know, there's nothing that-- I've got everything in my life that I've ever wanted or dreamed of and it never satisfied me. Um, and that is probably portion of the reason I am where I am in my business because I have that drive. But also that's why I got so deep into addiction because I'm zero to 100 , you know. Um- you, you give it your all what- no matter what it is, right? Regardless of what it is, and that was the problem with, uh, with the cocaine at the end there is it, it was all or nothing, you know? Um I wanna unpack a couple things from what you said. First of all, you talked about starting to use substances at a very young age. You were pretty young. Oh, yeah. I was, I mean, I was probably drinking and smoking weed when I was 15 years old Yeah, very young. And, and we know that affects the development of your brain, that can increase your chances of becoming addicted exponentially by something like 9 to 15%, depending on if it's alcohol or weed. did you ever about that and how that contributed to the issue that you faced? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I started partying when I was young. Um, you know, a lack of, of things in my life, um, that definitely had, had a drive to do more. Um, you know, whether it be, um, lack of parental, you know, parental watching, parents watching me or just being, you know… Um, I was, wasn't, I wouldn't say I was a troubled kid. Um, I didn't get good grades. I didn't like school. I did it though. I graduated. Um, I, you know, so I did all that, but I was, I was a menace, um, to say the least. You were a little bit of a troublemaker. Yeah, I mean, I didn't get arrested a lot or anything like that. Um, I just, you know, I was, I was rolling with the bad guys. You know, we, you know, a lot of drinking, a lot of drugs. Um, you know, and I went to Brandon back in, you know, there was, it was pretty readily available when I was, you know, in high school. So And then you were able though to start this business the partying, despite the substance use, you're able to start this business and be successful at it and really kind of, it sounds to me like you were able to compartmentalize, and not everybody can do that because there are a lot of people once they start using substances especially to excess manage the rest of their life anymore. Everything goes, you know, At the end it was really hard, um, mentally and emotionally. Um, just over the years I buried everything with alcohol. Um, you know, it was my main, alcohol was my main substance. Marijuana, I, I smoked a lot of weed all the time, but, uh, alcohol was my, was my exit point. Um, but yeah, I, you know, I don't know how I did it. I just… Yeah I mean, I, I, you know, we would drink all night, 3:00,

4: 9:01

00 in the morning, and I would get up and go to work. I mean, that's just how I did it for 25 years, you know? So I kinda grew up doing that, and I didn't, you know, that, that was kinda my normal. Um- So what do you think made it start to catch up with you? Because it sounds like when you talk about that last year before you got into recovery, it did start to catch up with you. What was it, or what had changed, or was it just your body couldn't take it anymore? What was happening? No, I mean, I think, um, you know, it's funny 'cause I, like a year or two ago I told one of my buddies, you know, "If I, if I had a, a good connection to, to this drug and I had the money, I'm gonna be in trouble." And I look back and that's exactly what happened. Um, you know, and just people, places and, people, places and things, Ja? uh, just that's how it worked. And I, like I said, I have a really, a really hard drive. Um, I'm really hard on myself. Um, for my business, if there's something we need, if there's something I wanna do or, you know, um, be successful and make goals happen, I go to every extent of my being to make that happen, and that's the same way I was with the drugs at the end. Um, I, there was-- I mean, my kids didn't know I was-- I would come home high all the time, and they had no clue. My wife didn't know I was doing drugs. I mean, she knew I was, but she, I mean, I, I hid it, I hid it so long that I was so good at hiding it that, um, I could just, I could be normal Are you ready to protect the next generation from the dangers of substance use? Emily's Hope has created a comprehensive K through 12 substance use prevention curriculum designed to educate, empower, and equip students with the tools they need to make healthy choices. Our age appropriate lessons start in kindergarten and build through high school using science, real stories, and interactive learning to help kids understand their bodies, brains, and risk of drug use. We're already reaching thousands of students across multiple states, and we're just getting started. Visit emilyshopeedu.org to learn more, and share our curriculum with your school administrators and counselors. At Emily's Hope, we believe prevention begins with education. Let's work together to keep our kids safe. But eventually Jason decided he didn't wanna hide it anymore. In January of 2026, he checked himself into rehab and finally told his family the truth about the secret he had carried for years, his long and difficult battle with substance use disorder There wasn't a lot of people that, um, had the extent, knew the extent of, of, you know, what I was doing. Um, until I decided to make that phone call, my wife didn't even know she, I was doing cocaine until I was in Jersey and I told her Wow. Yeah, you were really good at hiding things from the people closest to you. That's something else. I, I'm surprised she didn't know, but I suppose if you were maintaining your business, you're still being a good provider, but there had to be ways that it leaked into your life and, Well, over the years, was wrong they knew. I mean, they knew something. They just didn't know what. Um, they knew I was depressed, you know. Um, and they knew it was getting worse. Um, but I've just hidden things. You know, as an addict, you, you learn to hide things. You know, I've never st- stole or anything like that. But, um, you know, there's-- Our marriage faded. You know, um, our marriage, we'd-- I've been married for 22 years. Um, so we've been married a very long time. But our marriage, you know, was really rocky there. Um, now we're going to counseling. Um, we're being very honest with each other. So, you know, that things-- There's a lot of things I have to fix after a situation like this, you know. Right. Because when you're hiding something, I don't care what it is, if it's drugs or an affair or what- when you're hiding something from the people closest to you in your life and your family, it has to impact those relationships Oh, absolutely. Yep, and I totally take full responsibility for that. Um, and th- you know, that's something that we're working on and it's something that it's not, it's not something you're gonna fix tomorrow. You know, this is something that, um, it's gonna take time to, to heal wounds and, and work through it, you know? Is that hard to accept the fact that you can't just fix it? You, you went to re- rehab, you are in recovery today, yet the problems created by the hiding and by the use and, and all of those things, it's not something you can just, oh, just tell them to get over it or whatever it is, you know? And, and you, it sound- you say you are taking responsibility, but it still has to be kind of hard to cope with that, that, okay, Yes, things. definitely. It's definitely gotta be dealt with. I mean, it's, you know, of course, I just wanna say that, you know, forget the past and, you know. But that's, Ja you know, that's why we're doing, um, counseling. Um, and you know, I take 100% of responsibility for everything I've done. Um, yes, I did a lot of bad things, but I also have done very good providing for my family and, you know, keeping a roof over our head. I never, you know, took money out of the account to do drugs. I never… You know, I didn't put myself in financial situations doing what I was doing. Uh, although, you know, it wasn't good. You know, with the gambling and stuff can really catch up with you fast. But, sure. um, I I mean, just I was, I've always been very responsible when it comes to not putting my family at risk per se financially. Um, but yeah, I mean, there's a lot. You know, my, my, my wife and kids, I didn't even tell them. I, I mean, I came home from the lake. We got in a fight. Came home from the lake house and said, "I'm leaving tomorrow." And they said,"Where are you going?" I said,"I'm going to New Jersey. I'm going to get help." And then I got on a plane and left. Um, Were they and at that- Absolutely. Um, but were they happy? Very. Hmm. they all knew, you know, it was time, you know, something had to change. Um, you know, I would probably say I would, you know, I wouldn't be surprised if I would've made it another month the way I was going. Um, the amount of drugs I was doing, you know, you don't know what you're getting in the stuff these days. Um, right and, you know, luckily when I went to treatment and I got tested, there was no fentanyl in my system, but, uh, did I care at that time? No. I mean, is that a selfish thing? Absolutely. Um, but, said though, let me touch on what you just said there because I think that is so true for so many people. When you're using these substances and your brain is addicted, and, and I think this was probably true for my daughter, that she didn't really care what she was getting, or so many other people I've talked to, they're just like, they don't really care because they're so dependent on those substances they sort of lose caring about their own life Yeah, you lose touch with everything. I mean, you lose touch with who you are, you know. I mean, that was the biggest thing I learned in rehab is, you know, you can't fix yourself if you can't-- If, you know, you can't love somebody if you don't love yourself. Right and it's-- I've learned that's 100% true, you know. I don't like getting up at 4:00 in the morning and going to the gym every day, but does that make me who I am? Does that make me a better person? 100%, you know. Um, and I've changed people, places, and things. So I've totally changed my life around from eight months ago. Um, everything I do, I do differently Before we talk about that, what you're doing now today and what's different, I want you to tell me about why you picked the treatment center you picked, why you went to New Jersey, and what you learned there and what that was like Um, to tell you the 100% honest truth, I called the helpline and I said, "I want to go to the best rehab in the country. I don't care where it's at. I need to be on a plane in the morning, and tell me where I'm going." Um, at that point, um, I talked to, um, a counselor in Jersey, and they set me up with plane tickets and got everything set up, and I was on a plane the next day. I had no idea. I did no research. Um, I just need-- I knew I needed to get away. Um, not because I thought I would run back to the drug, but because then I knew there was no hiding. I knew-- I, I mean, it, I knew I-- it was time to change my life, 100% around. Um, it was either that or, you know, get a divorce, would be dead, lose my family. Um, you know, there was a lot of, there was a lot of things that, uh, could have gone different. Um, it just happened to be New Jersey. Now, I wish it would have been like Florida or something because it was colder there than it was here the whole time I was there , you know? If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, please don't wait to seek help. Substance use disorder is a disease and there is help available. For a list of resources, head over to our website, emilyshope.charity. You can find a link in our show notes I went through 12 detox. I've never been in a place for 12 days and not left at all, ever in my life. I'm a very… I move, I got ADHD, I got ADD. I can't stand one place, one, you know. Um, but I got there, I went in, and I didn't walk out those doors for 12 days. Um, you know, they'd let people outside to go smoke cigarettes. I don't smoke, so I would just go outside and, you know, smell the fresh air. But it was, you know, they take your phone, um, they take your belt, they take, they take everything. Um, the place I went was all natural. There was no soda, um, so it changed my eating habits. Um, but that was probably the most eye-opening part of it, was, um, just being detached from the world. Um, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me because, you know, owning a business, I get people that call me at, you know, on a Sunday night. You know, I mean, there's, there's no stopping. Um, it's always go, go, go. Um, and I just realized, you know, you have to stop and think about what you're doing and, and learn to, you know, work through your problems instead of bury them. Because I buried everything, you know, for years and years and years, and I couldn't even start to tell you, you know, things that… I mean, you know, I would cry. I mean, never cried until, you know, it's okay to cry, you know. Um, Yeah. I, I but I learned- if, if your identity is tied to your masculinity and your in the world, that could be a difficult thing Yeah, I mean, I'm supposed to be a leader. I'm the owner of the company, um, you know, but at that point… don't cry, right? Yeah. In fact, we dedicated a podcast episode to that topic called

When Men Don't Cry: 21:32

Confronting the Culture of Silent Grief. Morgan Rich is a writer and life coach who helps men navigate grief, change, and pain in healthier, more authentic ways. His work also challenges the stereotypes around how men are supposed to cope and explores what healthy masculinity can actually look like For men, I, I love my tears. And what I notice about tears, um, is that the, uh, like how I wanna celebrate them Because they are the emotional places. And in my groups when men cry or when I'm with men and they start to get emotional, always just honor that place because it's a place where if you-- you know, almost every single time you hear a man cry in public, they apologize. They say, "I'm so sorry," or,"Sorry," or they try to hide it. Always say, "No, my friend. No, no, no. Like, please, like bring those." Like, those are the meaningful-- That's the emotion, that's the care, that's the love, that's the, that's the true emotion that's in there a part of your book title, you talk to the invitation beyond reclaiming healthy masculinity. What, how do you define healthy masculinity? Yeah. That's a, that's a great question. One of my, one of my young guys in, a 16-year-old in the group was like, "Well, can we define healthy masculinity?" I'm like, "Great." Good. Like, here, here's my criteria. Um, um, and we had this beautiful discussion, but, you know- Domination and manipulation and control are the, are the things of like, let's, let's, let's shut down- Mm-hmm … how we then handle things, and, and control it so that it's sort of it's, it's, it's the way that I need it to be. That's the unhealthy version. So the healthy version of it is what is it to be vulnerable? What is it to be flexible? What is it to be actually be able to be present with myself, where I've, I've got myself? So I don't need the validation from outside. I don't need the validation from my resume, from my paycheck, from my w- you know, peers, from my boss, from my kids, from my whatever. That I've, I've, I've got myself. And then I'm able to really be present with my people, and really be able to be present with the moment. You know? And so the… And so that when something happens, whether it be my child dies or an event happens in the world, that it's not a referendum on my own welt, like if I'm a good person or a good dad or a good human. Like, that's already handled. And If you'd like to hear more from that episode, head over to the show notes. We've included a link to When Men Don't Cry, along with a couple of other episodes we think you may enjoy. And while you're there, please take a moment to rate and review this episode. It helps us spread the word about the opioid epidemic, reduce the stigma surrounding substance use disorder, and hopefully open the door for more people to get the help they need. The physical withdrawals, were those difficult for you? Um, no, they controlled those, um, through detox. That's why I was there for 12 days 'cause they controlled, they controlled that and then what happened after those 12 days? Um, then I had an option of, um, I could, you know, I basically could either go home or I could go somewhere else, and I decided I'm doing another 30 days. Um, and I went to New Jersey. I was in New Jersey. Um, I went to New Jersey and I did inpatient for 30 days and I just, you know, I told my family, "I'm sorry, but I need this time for myself." And, um, they totally understood and they weren't, you know… Um, we're a close family, but they understood that I needed that help. Uh, and I'm glad that I did. You know, that 12 days is a-- You It's nothing. Yeah, it's, it's, in the big scheme of things, it's really nothing, and it takes so long for the brain to recover after years of use as well. I don't know if you've noticed that. Do you feel your brain have to change, Yeah like I said before, people, places, and things is huge. Um, you know, they-- it's, it's, it's all in the mind and there's, you know, a lot of people just think they're in this, they're in this rut and they, you know, they can never get out of it just because they buried themselves so deep financially or physically, however. Um, there's a way out. You know, there's, there is. Um, it doesn't matter, um, it doesn't matter how deep you are, you know, you can get out. You know, it's just a matter of you gotta have the will. You know, I've tried to help some people. I can only help somebody that wants to help himself, and that's where I was at. Um, you know, I've had people that wanted to help me stop drinking or do this and that, but if you don't want it, you-- I mean, you know, there's nothing I can do for you, you know? And I, and I think it's interesting too that, um, you were able to return home and you're still married. Your wife, you're, you're working on it, but, why is that, do you think? Why do you think still together after everything that happened? I've made a lot of changes. Totally different person than what I was when I left. Um, and I gave her the option, you know. Um, she-- it's, it's her choice whether she stays or not. Um, I've always been faithful. Um, it's just, you know, there's a lot of things that she doesn't know, the stress I deal with at work. You know, she, works for the business, but she also is at home. She's not in the field, so she doesn't understand a lot of the, of the real stresses, um, you know, that I deal with. Um, but she, you know, she's just-- she, she loves me and, and we're, you know, we'll work on it. So, yeah. And that's all you can do. And stress can lead to relapse. So you talked about changing things in your life when you came back home after the 30 days. Uh, you did the 12 detox and then an additional 30 days in rehab, which r- you know, really is a short period of time, relatively. Uh, and then you had to change things here. Tell, tell me what you changed here at home. You know, I used to stay up all night and watch TV or drink with friends. Um, I go to bed at like 8:00 or 9:00 now

'cause I get up at 4: 28:13

00. Um, and like I said before, getting up that early, I don't like doing that, but it… Consistency. You have to have consistency. I've learned to, to stay sober, um, to keep your mind right. Consistency in my eyes is key because, you know, I don't, I don't need the partying. You know, there's a lot of people that I was good friends with. I'm not really-- I don't talk to them that much anymore. Um, you know, whether that be because it was a transactional friendship, um, or it was, you know, "Well, he doesn't drink anymore," you know? I can't tell you how many times I've went out to eat with my wife and whoever, and we were at a bar. I mean, I don't have a problem going into a bar and not drinking. I'm just, that's my mindset. Um, they, you know, "Do you need a drink?" "No, I don't drink." And they say, "I'm sorry." I say, "You don't, you don't have to apologize to me." You know, this is a choice that I'm making. Nobody's making me do this. This is something I'm doing for myself. Um, and I've just learned, um, I f- you know, your mind is so much fresher and, you know, it's just a totally different life than I lived before that I've never experienced. Um, you, Right? You really haven't. I mean, all these years, you, you just, you really haven't No, no. And like I say, I mean, when I go, I'm 100% on everything. So that's including drinking and all that other stuff 100% in sobriety now, right? In recovery. Yep, that's 100% right. If you're a mother grieving the loss of a child, dear friends of mine, moms who've lost children to fentanyl poisoning and overdose, are hosting the Sisters of Strength Warrior Moms Retreat October 9th through the 11th at Wildwood Hills Ranch in St. Charles, Iowa. It's a weekend of healing, connection, horseback riding, and creative remembrance with women who understand. This weekend isn't about forgetting, it's about remembering with love. The link and details are in the show notes. I hope you'll join us better about your life now? Um, I can think clearer. I'm not, you know, I ride a lot of motorcycles. I just went on a 12-day motorcycle ride to Colorado with one of my other buddies. He's sober. A lot of my friends that ride motorcycles are sober, and a lot of them, you know, they, they're all from all over the country. Um, and even if they're not sober, I, I can have somebody drinking around me. Um, I'm not gonna sh- you know, I'm not gonna degrade them for that. That's totally their choice. You know, I'm making my decisions upon my, what I need, Well, we've, we've had a lot of support at Emily's Hope. We do, we do a poker run every year, and the motorcycle community, especially those in recovery, especially those who are sober, have been incredibly supportive of us and our cause. And it's just a, you know, kind of a different audience for us to reach, but also such an important one Yeah, I mean, a lot of people look at the motorcycle community as, oh, bad bikers and, and do drugs and alcohol. that's not always the case, or oftentimes it isn't. Yeah that's not the case. I've got more friends that are all over the country that are bikers that are-- they'll ride 5,000 miles, but they're sober. Um, but I learned even on that motorcycle ride, like every time we went on a motorcycle ride before that, it was to the next bar, to the next bar. You know, that was our goal. Let's get to the next bar and get another drink, see how fast we can go. You know, that's, that's what we did. Um, now it's like go to the next wherever, get a tea, and smell the air, and just stop and watch the sun rise or watch the sun go down on mountains. Uh, you, you just see things in a totally different light, um, because your mind's clear. Things that I've saw pass for years because I just wasn't looking. Um, I was just looking for the next high. That, that was all I thought about. Um, and you know, work, work, work, and then drink, drink, drink or whatever next high. You know, that's, that's all that's in your mind, you know. Well, and I think with 49 million Americans suffering from substance use disorder, you're describing a lot of people when you say that. I think a lot of people can relate to what you're saying Yeah, 100%. And I've had people, um, I put a little post. I'm not, I'm not a type of guy to go on Facebook and say, "Hey, I'm sober." Um, that's, you know. But, but I put a post out and, and said, "Hey, you know, this is my situation. If you need somebody, feel free to PM me." And I've had people that I don't even know contact me and just say, "Hey, your story touched me, you know, can you take a call?" Absolutely. You know, that's why, you know, that's, that's part of my recovery is trying to help as many people as I can that want help, you know. Um, and that's why I'm on here Yeah. Well, I was gonna say, I, I think it's very courageous of you, and your recovery is relatively fresh. Nine months is not a incredible long period of time, but it's, it's congratulations on the nine months. That's, I don't mean to diminish it, but I really admire you talking to me about it and being more public about it, because I think it can help somebody else, and not everybody could do that nine months into recovery absolutely. And, and it's not about getting clout or, you know, anything like that. It's, this is 100% about helping others. Um, I, you know, like I said, it's, it's-- If I can help talk to somebody and, and help them through a hard time, even a rough day, even if they're not an addict and they just need somebody to talk to. You know, um, it's just about living happy and being able to wake up in the morning and, and actually feel, feel your feelings and, you know, be alive and not just numb, you know? And I think what you're talking about is being authentic. Uh, what, what I hear f- I, you seem very authentic to me, like when you're talking about what you went through and what you want to give back to other people. can tell when somebody's not sincere with something like that, and I think being au- authentic, being who you really are and being authentic and not covering it up with whatever it is, gambling, drinking, whatever, um, those are all just coverups, don't you think? Uh, 100%. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's, that's why I would go to the casino just to hide, you know? Mhm. so now it's, it's, you know, I don't, I don't do a whole lot. I work.

I come home at 5: 35:22

30 at night. I don't work till 11 o'clock every day. And, you know, the business is surviving and, um, I'm able to come home to my family and smile and, and be happy and, you know, we go to church. Um, we're, you know, my wife and my daughter is really religious. Um, she's part of the reason, you know, I am where I am today in my, in my faith. Um, I you know- you if your relationships with your adult children have changed at all Yeah, for the better. Um, it's always been, "Dad, you need to quit. You need to quit doing this. You need to quit doing that." And, you know, I thought they were just ganging up on me, but, you know, they, they just care about me, you know? And they saw I was, you know, what I was doing, you know? Um, there's been alcoholism in my family. Um, there's been alcoholism in my wife's family. Um, so, you know, it's, it's a real thing. Um, just 'cause it's legal doesn't mean it's not a problem. Um, Não now could I go to a bar and have a beer? Pr- Yeah. Am I gonna do that? Absolutely not. Um, that's not something I'm interested in, you know? Um, I'm kind of in it for the long haul here, and I don't, I don't have any urges to drink or do drugs. Um, you know, I just, I wanna live happy and I wanna help as many people as I can in the, in the, you know, in the whole thing, And what role is faith playing in your recovery journey? I think that can be different for everybody, but what about for you? Yeah, my daughter, my daughter kind of really got me. When I was younger, we had went to a church in Florida, and it was, it wasn't good. Um, so it kind of pushed me away. Um, but now we're, we're at a church and, um, we go every Sunday. My daughter is really religious. She, she has, um, Bible studies at our house all the time, and it, it, you know, I, I love it because you look out the window and you see 20, 25 kids swimming in the backyard. Um, you know, it, it just gives you some, you know, gives you a different feeling of like we accomplished something that's positive in life. Um, you know, that, that we can have these kids at our house and they're, and they're learning about, um, the Bible. They're just learning to-- And, and it's not all about faith. It's they're, they're-- They wanna be better people. Um, you know, they wanna be, um, genuine people. And, and these are 16-year-old, 15, 16, 17 male kids, you know, that are taking a Wednesday and just learning about God and, and learning about their faith. Um, you know, it's not, it's not like the parents are making them do this. This is something the, you know, the younger generation wants to do, um, which is awesome, you know, um, to see. And these kids are very genuine and, you know, my daughter, I've just kind of been watching it and, and, you know, I go to a men's group every Thursday morning at 6:00 a.m. And it's, you know, that's kind of the only, um-- I don't really do AA. Uh, I don't really do any kind of NA. I don't do any of that. Um, I tried, I just didn't, couldn't find a group that really I jived with and, and, um, this men's group is really, they're really supportive. They know my story. Um, I, I could call any of them anytime I needed anything and, you know, they would talk to me. But I still am in contact with, um, my, my rehab, uh, people at my rehab. Um, I still talk to people. You know, there's a lot of people that go to rehab for months, years. I mean, actually, you know, there's people that are, you know, that have been there through like two years Right. Right. Are you worried about relapse at all? You know, I'm not gonna say I'm not worried about it. I, I don't, I just don't put that in my head. Um, you know, there's always, there's always things happen. I'm not saying that it's not gonna happen. I'm not saying it's gonna happen, but I'm gonna do my damnedest to make sure that I don't. Um, I've got a lot to lose. I've got family, I've got a business, um- Well, and don't you think also, I often think this 'cause we have peer support specialists at Emily's Hope that work on our post-overdose response team, and they share their stories often and, and our scholarship recipients often with Avera Addiction Care Center share their stories. And I think by sharing your stories, it also holds you accountable somewhat, right?'Cause you've, you've told Absolutely. Yeah. is who I Yeah now, this is what I'm doing. And so you don't wanna fall back on that, right? Yeah. No, and I mean, that would be, be a bad look for sure. But that's not, you but my of-- I mean, I don't, I don't, I, I, and I, I don't fault anybody who relapses, don't get me wrong, because I know it can be part of the disease of addiction. Absolutely, yeah. I mean, it can definitely be part of, part of, um, you know, sometimes it's part of your recovery. That's just, you know. And it, and like I say, everybody's recovery is different. Um, you know, I've never in my life went to any kind of rehab, um, got any help from anybody. Um, this is the first time, um, I kind of went all in and said,"This is, this is what I'm gonna do," and I put my mind to it. And, um, you know, I think if I keep my, if I keep my mindset right, um, keep with the people that are, you know, supporting me, um, you know, anytime you feel like you're going downhill. You know, yesterday I just felt like I was in a funk. I came home, I told my wife, I said, "I, I just feel like I'm in a funk." I said, "I, I need to go back to the gym." And she said, "What? Why would you go back to the gym? You were there this morning at 5:00 AM." I said, "I don't know, but that's what I'm gonna do." And that's what I did, and that's what, you know. So that's kind of my drive, um, my health and, I mean alternative, 'cause we all get in those funks, right? Everybody, everybody does, Yeah, absolutely something that works for you that isn't alcohol or drugs. And even detox, um, and when I was in detox and rehab, the, the food, like I said, it was all, it was all natural food. There was no, um, added sugars, um, and none of that stuff. And I still to this day, I'm eating very healthy, cutting all the sugars out, getting, you know, just trying to be a better person, you know, all around, not just in my sobriety. Um, trying to, to eat better. Um, you know, trying to tell my kids, "Hey, we don't need five energy drinks," you know? Right? Um, but Jason, I wanna say that I'm so grateful that you're sharing your story and that you're giving back and helping others, and I know today's episode will definitely help somebody Yeah. no, I hope it does. And, you know, I didn't know where to look. I had no idea. Um, I was literally got in a fight with my wife and I was at my lake house, and I, I didn't know. I just called help. I looked up helpline, called it, and that, like, that's the only thing 988. Call 988. And we have resources on our website, emilyshope.charity. Um, so really there is help out there. I think that's, you just have to take that first step, and you were willing to do that Yeah. And I think, um, you know, things like you're doing is huge because, you know, the people that don't know or they hear Emily's Hope, you know, um, there is hope. There's hope for everybody, you know? Ja you, you know, you just gotta, you want, you gotta want it and, um, you know, you gotta… I mean, if you see somebody, you know, that needs help, try to help them. That's, that's my goal, you know? So we'll do whatever we can to help as many as we can Yeah. Well, thank you for that. I appreciate it so much Thank you for taking the time to learn more about this issue that's affecting millions of Americans. Join us each week for a new episode of Grieving Out Loud, or catch up on hundreds of past conversations anytime at emilyshope.charity. Again, we've included a link in our show notes. Thanks again for listening. Until next time, wishing you faith, hope, and courage. This podcast is produced by Casey Wandenberg King and Kayli Fitz