She's walked the runway at New York Fashion Week, won pageants like Miss Mount Rushmore, and may soon have a documentary made about her life. But a few years ago, Donika Miller's life looked completely different. I always wanted to be a model since I was a kid, and you know, at 13 years old, all that dream went down the drain. At just 13 years old, Donika entered a treatment center for the first time, struggling with an addiction to inhalants. How are you gonna admit you're an addict when you're only 13 and you're just doing inha? You don't know. You don't see that. Um, so you just work your program and you get out, you know? And so as soon as I got out of that first treatment, I'm not even kidding you, I think it was like two days. I got, you know, blacked out drunk. My brother found me at the bowling alley. I had a pretty rugged, rugged drinking life. Donika soon moved on to harder drugs, including meth. At 19, she was sentenced to prison for assaulting a law enforcement officer while intoxicated. With a felony on her record, she struggled to find employment. After years on a dangerous path, she found recovery, but not without significant pain. I feel like if I hadn't got diagnosed with Crohn's, I may have relapsed, but I feel like God was like, you know, I tried. Sorry. He is like, I tried to show you so many times to get your life together. You just couldn't do it. And I felt like he was like, okay, this is ultimately like the last test, Danica, now you have the choice to live or die. In this episode of Grieving Out Loud, Donika shares her story, showing that even when things feel hopeless, change is still possible, and how she's turned some of her hardest moments into something that now helps others. My guest today is someone whose story I have not been able to stop thinking about since I first heard it. Her name is Danica Miller and she is in recovery for substance use disorder. She made a decision at a point in her life that a lot of people in the depths of addiction struggle to make. She decided to fight for something better and that decision changed everything. Today, Danica a single mom to three boys. runway model and an assistant director at the Mitchell Indigenous site, and we'll explain what that is in just a moment where she stays rooted in culture, community, and leadership. She has also started her own nonprofit focused on empowering indigenous youth because she knows firsthand. What it means to need a role model, who truly understands your journey? Danica's life is proof that recovery does not just save you. It can give you an entirely new life, one that you build with intention, purpose, and with the people counting on you most. I am so glad that you're here. Welcome to Grieving Out Thank you so much. Thank you. I'm glad to be here. I. Yeah, I am just, um, really excited to dive into your story and one thing that we should talk about, and I've interviewed a few other Native Americans on this podcast, many of whom have struggled with substance use disorder. Some of their stories have just brought tears to my eyes because people who don't life for indigenous people don't really understand how the cards can be stacked against you depending on. What situation you're born into. Correct. Yeah. Let's talk about your background. Where did you grow up? Yeah. So my family is actually from Chamberlain, South Dakota. Um, my mom's from Chamberlain and my dad is from. Fort Thompson, um, he lives there on the, on the reservation there, on the Crow Creek reservation. And then my mother actually, um, she moved here before I was born here in Mitchell, South Dakota to actually go to, uh, dw. And so she raised me here in Mitchell. Um. But I like to say that I'm from, uh, the Crow Creek reservation because that's where my roots are. Um, even though I did not grow up there, I believe that's where I'm from. You are a member of the Crow Creek tribe, and that is your Absolutely. Yes. Yep. Yeah, let, let's talk about when substance use started for you. Were you exposed to it at a young age? Well. Substance use? Yes. I mean, not drugs, nothing hardcore. Um, there was drinking, my father was an alcoholic, so he was out of the picture when I, I, I was like two. I don't really remember. He wasn't, he was there the first couple years of my life. Um, struggled with alcohol, moved to the res and just kind of stayed on the res all those years. Um, and then my mom, you know, my mom thankfully. It skipped her. So my grandma was an alcoholic. It skipped my mom. So my mom didn't really expose us, but you know, she, she was in college so she would have like, you know, drinking parties and whatnot. And for me, just seeing those parties at a young age was exciting. I knew that that's what I wanted to do at a young age. And genetically, we know that Native Americans are much more susceptible to substance use disorder. Can you talk a little bit Yeah, so. You know, uh, historically wise, uh, native Americans didn't drink. We didn't drink. If you ever watch, um, bury my heart and wounded knee, they're giving them called liver oil, right? And it's supposed to be medicine. Um, and so, so alcohol was introduced to, to my ancestors. Um, and it wasn't made for their bodies for them to break down, for them to, they never had it until it was introduced to them. And so. I believe that, you know, genetically, it's just like Native Americans struggle with alcohol. Like top like they're like in the top percentage of, of alcohol abuse disorder. Um, because like I said, it, you know, I don't know science that well, but it's, it's just genetically embedded in us. Right. Years ago I did a, a whole series about alcoholism on reservations with among Native American people and how they were looking at cultural ways to treat it. Years after that, I did a story about meth addiction on and then we know fentanyl, heroin, and fentanyl. Uh, came to the reservations and became very prevalent as well. And one thing I learned. In doing all of that reporting was that genetically, physically Native Americans respond differently. It started with alcohol, right? It respond differently. Like just your, your body chemistry, you respond differently to alcohol than people of other ethnicities, which explains so much. also it's the genetics that you can't escape. And alcohol is so prevalent in our culture everywhere, absolutely. not just on reservations, obviously everywhere. Yep, exactly. That's, you know, that's exactly what I was trying to get at. It's just, it wasn't made for us. And, and then that carries generational trauma Danica says she first started experimenting with substances when she was in middle school. Her first drug of choice was inhalants. So the drinking didn't come until a little later. It wasn't as accessible as it was to go get an inhalant at Walmart. So it is crazy I think about it because me and 10 of my friends would go to Walmart and get these inhalants, sit in the parking lot, you know, do these inhalants until we're blacked out dumb, and then go home at night like nothing happened. And that was my very first do an inhalants. And I got put in my first treatment because of, because of the inhalants. Um, it wasn't until after I got a treatment where the alcohol was like, okay, I'm cured for inhalants. I'm gonna start drinking now. That's how I thought. Danica first went to a treatment facility in Huron, South Dakota at 13 years old. She says at that age she wasn't ready to put in the work needed for recovery When you get put in treatment when you're 13, 14 years old and you know, they're telling you to say, Hey, my name is so-and-so, I'm an alcoholic addict. You don't believe that you're saying it to get through your program. You know, you don't. How are you gonna admit you're an addict when you're only 13 and you're just doing inha? You don't know. You don't see that. Um, so you just work your program and you get out, you know? And so as soon as I got out of that first treatment, I'm not even kidding you, I think it was like two days. I got, you know, blacked out drunk. My brother found me at the bowling alley. I had a pretty rugged, rugged drinking life. Took me home to my mom and it was just from there, it was just drinking after drinking for years and years and years. How many years? Well, I started, let's say, let's say 13. Um, and I fully quit, I wanna say fully quit, um, when I was 29, It's a lot of years. of years. Yeah. Are you ready to protect the next generation from the dangers of substance use? Emily's Hope has created a comprehensive K through 12 substance use prevention curriculum designed to educate, empower, and equip students with the tools they need to make healthy choices. Our age appropriate lessons start in kindergarten and build through high school using science, real stories, and interactive learning to help kids understand their bodies, brains, and risk of drug use. We're already reaching thousands of students across multiple states, and we're just getting started. Visit emilyshopeedu.org to learn more, and share our curriculum with your school administrators and counselors. At Emily's Hope, we believe prevention begins with education. Let's work together to keep our kids safe. To make matters worse, Danica got in trouble with the law when she was 19. She says she was highly intoxicated when she insulted a law enforcement officer Get pulled over, don't remember doing it. I'm not a violent person. You know, people do things they don't normally do. Not a violent person assaulted a cop. I guess I kicked him in the grown area, growing, um, and they put me in prison for it. And that was before they believed in rehabilitating people before drug court. went to prison at 19 for assaulting a police 19 for assaulting a police officer that your first offense? other than all the hundreds and thousands of minors I had. Yeah. So you had a lot of minor, um, Like 10. substances, alcohol violations, that kind Yep. Yep. use wasn't. And how long were you in prison for? At 19. So, so how I guess the system works is you catch a charge, you know that charge is worth however many years. My charges is worth two years for assaulting a cop. It's a class six felony. They give you, you have to do a certain percent of your time. I can't remember what it is, so it would've been six months for me. But they gave you time served. I set four months in the Davison County Jail, which is a long time for a young girl. And then three months in the, in the South Dakota State Penitentiary. In the low, low minimum unit.'cause I was a, I was basically just, they wanted to check me in, do my time and get me out. But no No. treatment for substance. I mean, even though you were drunk when you did this, there was no treatment. There was Nope. This is way before drug court was even a thing. While Danica's time behind bars could have been an opportunity for recovery, she says it ultimately made things worse. At 20, she was out of prison with a felony on her record, making it virtually impossible to find a job no one wanted to hire me. You know, I was in a halfway house in a whole new town in Sioux Falls. I worked at a restaurant for a bit, but nobody wanted to hire me. Nobody wanted anything to do with me automatically. I met a man that was in the streets and just got involved in the streets with him 'cause I didn't think I could do any better because nobody wanted to hire me. Nobody wanted to give me a chance. right. And that is sadly the truth for so many people. Once they get that felony on their record, they can't get a job, they can't get housing. There's so many. Ways that they cannot recover, from what had happened in their life or the circumstances that led them there from their own actions, even if they want to, it gets, it's very difficult for Exactly, and I, you know, I'm not saying that's why I started using, but it's just like I came, I got out, you know, I wasn't set up for nothing. I got put in a halfway house, didn't know anybody got out, you know, tried to live this life. I had no college, no nothing, you know, just tried to. Try to make it, and I just, I couldn't make it. And so I was just like, you know, at that point as an addict, I was like, screw it. So got, that's when I got heavy into drugs. That's when I started doing drugs. Danica says she continued drinking and in her early 20s began experimenting with more powerful drugs, including meth. Like many people struggling with addiction, she says relationships played a role, and it was during this time she met a man who introduced her to injecting meth The first time you do meth, it gives you, like in a, a euphoric, like I can just conquer the world. Like everything's better. I can run a mile, I can, you know, I can be a superstar. It literally gives you the most confidence in the world, but that confidence doesn't last. Maybe the first 30 minutes. Then, you know, you're, you're feeling okay a couple hours. Then after a couple hours, you're like, I want more. Your brain wants that dopamine so bad. You just constantly want more. And then after that, more is never enough and eventually you have to come down. Coming down is worse than anything in the world I've ever had to deal with. Explain that you feel like the lowest you've ever felt. You feel Yes. Like the best way I can describe it is I would feel like an empty pit in my stomach and my soul, and. There could be nothing bad going on.'cause I try to live, I try to live as normal as possible while being an addict. So to me, on the, on the outside world, there could be nothing bad going on. You know, things could be fine. Um, but I would, I would try to cry and I couldn't cry because I was so dehydrated from. I couldn't form tears because there was no water in my body because meth dehydrates you. So I would like literally sit there and like dry heave cry just from feeling so sad and empty, and I couldn't explain what that feeling was or why I was feeling that way. And it happened every single time. Every time I came down it was 10 times worse. Donika has now been in recovery for nearly four years. If you're struggling with substance use disorder, we wanna remind you that help is available. Please don't wait. Your life matters. You can find a list of resources on our website, emilyshope.charity. You can also find a link in our show notes The beginning was hard because it was, I was alone. I just quit because I didn't, you know, I didn't, like I said, I don't want my kids be taken away. I don't want my mom to be mad at me. So the first, this is what happened for me the first three months that I was sober. Um, it was great. I didn't do anything though. I worked out, I went walking on my treadmill, but then, Hmm. Exercise yes. for people to do. Exercise and music. So I just quit without telling people. So yeah, I would exercise stuff, but three months into, um, my recovery, I got diagnosed with Crohn's disease and so I actually had a friend who had Crohn's disease. Who bled out, um, in his sleep, and he drank a lot. And so when I got diagnosed with Crohn's, I didn't know what that was. I was like, what the heck is that? And the doctor pretty much told me like, yeah, if you're a drinker, if you're a drug user, it'll take your life a lot quicker. And that moment, so it was like my rock bottom followed by three months later, them saying, is either life or death for you? And I know a lot of people, they still choose death. They still choose that knowing they got diagnosed. I didn't wanna choose that. I had kids. Yeah, Crohn and Crohn's is a difficult thing to live with. Also. Very expensive medications and things like Yep. Um, are you managing your Yep. I got put on, um, I can't even think of mesalamine. I've been on it for Yep. Three years. Three and a half years. Yeah. Well, and so you're doing pretty well. Yeah. I haven't had any symptoms side effects. Um, I guess I'm low in vitamin D. That's about it. Oh, well, I'm really happy to hear that. And then tell me when you decided, because it seems like from maybe just sort of surviving to thriving because you made a lot, you're doing lot now today. So did these things just sort of happen gradually, or tell me how they came Yep. So, um, you know, I took that, took that first step, you know, after the three months after I found out I had Crohn's. Um, once I found out I had Crohn's, that's what really. Hit me spiritually. I feel like if I hadn't got diagnosed with Crohn's, I may have relapsed, but I feel like God was like, you know, I tried. Sorry. He is like, I tried to show you so many times to get your life together. You just couldn't do it. And I felt like he was like, okay, this is ultimately like the last test, Danica now you have the choice to live or die. He's like, I tried everything with you. I'm gonna give you Crohn's. That's how I felt. So I was like, okay. So because I got Crohn's, it opened up something so spiritual to me. My friend actually, she's a, um, she's a hypnotherapist and a lot of people are against whatever their stigma about it. But, um, my friend's a hypnotherapist and she reached out to me for. Like a year before that and was like, Danica, I really wanna do hypnotherapy on you, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, no. But you know, four months into my recovery, I found I had Crohn's. I was just completely weak, helpless, didn't know what else to do, thought I was gonna die. I didn't know what Crohn's was. I wasn't gonna die. And I reached back out to her and I was like, you know what, you've been bugging me for a year. I was like, but I'm ready. And as soon as I started doing therapy with her, and it wasn't often, you know, it was like once every three, four months, something about it like healed my inner child and it was just like, gave me so much more confidence. I don't know how to explain it, but um. It worked and you know, you, you said you're maybe some people might think hypnotherapy, whatever. What is the harm in it? Right? It's not harmful for you. Hypnotherapy. You might as well Exactly. And I think no two addictions are the same either. And so what works for one person may not work for the other, but if it worked for you, great. Yep. Why do you think it worked? Like what? What? Tell us about it. It's so awesome. Um. I think ultimately it worked because, or it's, you know, it's still working. It's still something that I try to do, um, because it's something different. And growing up I only, you know, I'd have counselors that the system would pay to talk to me and I was just like, this is crap. It was something different. And, you know, I gotta close my eyes and relax and like just kind of take me back down memory lane and it like. What makes it real different than other therapy is that like, it literally takes you to heal your inner child, and that's all, like, all I ever needed was to heal that inner child. And so yeah, you just sit there and you close your eyes and, and you work through things and it's just like, at the moment, you don't know if it's working or not, but then you start to see the progress, you know, couple weeks, month, year, down the road. Um, I flew on an airplane for the first time in my life because I went to hypnotherapy. Yeah, You were afraid to fly yeah. So, you know, growing up we didn't have, we didn't go on vacations, we didn't go on trips, we didn't travel. Um, so once, you know, I, I got my recovery and I had to start modeling. I was like, okay, I'm not gonna miss the opportunity. I'm gonna fly and hypnotherapy help me fly. How did the modeling come about? And you also have won beauty pageants too. Yep. So I always wanted to be a model since I was a kid, and you know, at 13 years old, all that dream went down the drain. 13, that's very young. That's a very young age to have those dreams go down the drain. So I was 13, not even a, you know, not even a woman, not even nothing yet. And I had people all, you know, over the years, friends moms that had passed away that told me that I should be a model. And I was just always like, yeah, no. Like I, I, I can't because I'm an addict right now. And so it wasn't, you know, until I got got in recovery and um, I was just like, I'm just weird.'cause my a DH adhd, I was just like, you know what? I wanna be a model. I was like, I gotta find someone to make me be a model. My friend, um, his name is actually Gabe. He's a rapper from Sioux Falls. He knew a girl, uh, her name was Ki a Dunkley, she's an indigenous designer, great woman. Um, she was putting on like a, like a fashion show at the Levitt. And I was like, what? I was like, yes. Never done a fashion show. And he got me in there. And because of that first fashion show with ki it opened up so many doors. So many, and I never thought a million years that it would, but it changed my life. Well, that is so cool. And since then you've gone on to do more modeling, like I said, win these. Beauty pageants and also tell us about the Mitchell Indigenous site and what you're doing Yep. So this is, this site is a, it's huge part of my story in itself. I started here when I had my first baby. I was only 21. You know, to me, when I say only, started working yes. and we should explain to people what it is for people that Yes. So, uh, the mid, so it used to be the Mitchell Prehistoric Indian Village. That's what people will, you know, know it by still, because the name change is kind of new. Uh, our new name is the Mitchell Indigenous Archeological Site. Um, and it is a huge archeological site. I mean, it's yes, it's huge. It's, it's the only, um, archeological site open to the public, um, you know, in this area. It is, it's great. But I, I started here 10 years ago. Uh, just had a baby, had struggled with addiction. I was working under a lady named Cindy Greg, who was a director. Um, Cindy had no kids, and I, I had a mom, but not a mom like her. And so for the first six years, she called me Danica 6.0 because I got fired six times. And she kept taking She kept taking me back. Um, and she saw something yes, well, in all those years she never knew that I was struggling with addiction. She didn't know. It wasn't until I finally admitted it to her after she took me back the fifth time, I was like, by the way, I've been on drugs and alcohol this whole time. Like, you didn't notice. She's like, oh, I did. I did. But you know, I saw something in you kept taking you back. And you do need someone to believe in you to to stay with you, to have faith in Yes, absolutely. And because of that, because she kept taking me back, um, you know, I started as a tour guide, you know, maybe 10 hours a week, um, to now I'm being the assistant director. Uh, been that for about two years now, and I work under a, a new director, Christian New, who's great. That's amazing. Well, I'm glad you're doing that work and that somebody believed in you and there's also been some interest in making a documentary out of your life. Yep. Yep. So, Cindy, she, um, retired from here and she obviously, you know, we're a nonprofit, so this place has been around for a very long time. We're nonprofit, so she was. Long Yeah, she was always good at raising money and whatnot, and I guess, um, she found a, or a film company found her or something, or she found them. And, um, she gave, you know, she gave them my idea about about me, told 'em about me, and I guess they fell in love with the story. And so we've just been kind of sharing, exchanging ideas back and forth, um, yeah, to start that. So I think. You know, may, June, they're gonna start doing like their first filming. If they get the funds, they're waiting for funds. That's nonprofit work. We all know that we have hearts of hustlers, we are ambitious hustlers, and we gotta raise money. how. But how flattering that they want to make documentary of your life and tell your story. And it is a story of hope. It's a story that shows that that people can recover and their lives and the lives of their families. In your case, your children, right, can become so much better because of Yep. Um, yeah, and then, you know, that's where the giving back part came with my, with my nonprofit. Um. Because I, I see myself in, in these kids. And what I mean is, so I grew up in a predominantly white society. As a Native American girl, I felt ugly because I wasn't blonde. Well, and there's a lot of a lot. people don't talk about that, but it's, it's, there's an undercurrent and it's often in smaller communities and near reservations and just outside yes. that exists, Yes. And I'm not saying, you know, like my town is racist, but there are racist people in every town. And right. grew up and there was people constantly calling me mean names up until I was a senior. Um, and I just felt out of, very out of place here. And so it's like I struggled with my identity. I wanted to be where the native kids were, but I was scared to move. You know, I didn't wanna go up there. And then I was, You didn't wanna yeah, and then, but I didn't wanna be here because I didn't feel pretty. You were caught between two worlds. It sounds to me like you were caught between Pretty much. Yeah. And, um, yeah, it wasn't, it, yeah, I just, I struggled with my identity and got in trouble with the law a lot, and so that's why I started my nonprofit. Have you lost a loved one to overdose or fentanyl poisoning? I'd like to invite you to share their story on our new Emily's Hope Memorial website called More Than Just a Number. They were our children, siblings, cousins, husbands, wives, aunts, uncles, and friends. So much more than just a number. You can submit a memorial today on morethanjustanumber.org. Danica's nonprofit is called The Thrive Tribe. You can find more information in our show notes for this episode, and while you're there, we'd really appreciate it if you took just a moment to rate and review this podcast and share it with someone who may find it helpful. I truly believe that by sharing our stories, we can learn from one another and improve our own lives along with others, I'm friends with like all the people who were like my DOC officers and probation officers growing up because, You're friends yes, because before I went to prison, I grew up in treatment. In this system. So 13 to like 18, I was always locked up, right? So I went to treatment. I was on divergent probation, DOC well, I'm friends with all my officers now. So I, I had a, like a vision and I wanted to do just randomly one day I wanted to do like a Beyond Scared Strait in Mitchell. And I was like, I reached out to, uh, my DOCO, old DOC officer, Tim Moon, and, you know, gave him my idea and he was like, Hmm. He's like, why don't you try a softer approach? And I was like. Okay. So I was kind of thinking he is like, you know, I know a girl who um, works for the state's attorneys in Mitchell. She has a diversion, you know, she takes kids on 90 day diversions. So I was like, wait a second. I used to be on that. I know what that's about. And I just contacted her and I was like, Hey. I was like, so Tim told me you had kids that are on diversions. Is there any way we could work out? Um, I wanna start a class. And I want the class to be about connecting to your roots, indigenous youth, connecting to their roots, um, who live in a predominantly, you know, white community who have been in trouble with the law. Who struggle with addiction, whose parents who struggle with addiction, um, and bring 'em back to a place where they can learn, uh, language and, and the true history and their culture. And, um, take 'em to powwows and do things that they never gotta do because, um, you know, just like I was, their parents moved here to have a better life. Um, but struggle because. The community that they're in just isn't arms wide open to you. And so, and then to go back to your reservation, you can't really do much, you know, cultural things 'cause you don't wanna be there. You wanna, you know, you wanna have a better life here. And so, just like, you don't, we don't have sweats in Mitchell, we don't have powwows, we don't have, we sage, we don't have that stuff. And so I bring that, um, I bring that and I bring the culture and I offer that. And, and it's really, it's good. It's a fun time. So what age kids are you working with? Um, it's, you know, when I first started it, I wanted to do fifth grade through 12th. Um, and it's been about a year and four months since my classes started, so, um, every age kid comes. Now I, it just is open to anybody who wants to learn. We all respect each other's boundaries. We learn the way, you know, best way we can. I have a 9-year-old girl who comes, she brings her mom, and then I have a 17-year-old girl who comes. And then of course my own kids, so my own kids are learning Lakota language. It's so cute to hear them talk. Right. And because your own kids may feel a little bit the way you did growing up, right? I mean, they, they could feel the same way. Yep, just like, you don't quite fit in, you don't quite belong. exactly. wanna go back to the reservation because of, there are a lot of issues on every reservation. Um, yeah. It's, it's just a, it's like almost like you're in Yes. And like my kids, he like one, even he mentioned, you know, he is in fourth grade and he said, um, a girl told him to go back to his teepe and see for me. that that continues Yes. And see, and for me, instead of like having him be upset, like I would have been, I would be like, I told, I'd tell him like, Hey, tell her like, yeah, I would love to go back to my tp. I'm proud of that. Teep, like, you know, it's first mobile home ever invented. Like, yeah, like be prideful in who you are. Like when, when they say native pride, like you should really be prideful because like, you know, it's. Well, and it does just show ignorance because for those who don't know, I mean there are a lot of, There's a lot of historical trauma, a lot of issues because of what happened to the Native American people that was imposed by the settlers, by the white man, right? Um, but to understand the beautiful culture, uh, don't know it right? And there is so much to be proud of. Uh, the culture is, is incredible and, um. Uh, just some of the religious practices and all of it is just beautiful. And so that is a lot of that has gotten lost, um, over the years as, as people tried to force assimilation and that kind of thing. But, um, you're right. I mean, to teach your kids to be proud of who they are. Mm-hmm. I mean, I was taught to be proud of my Norwegian heritage, right? So, I mean, um, you know, and obviously my ancestors are probably part of the problem, but, um, for Native American people, but you know, it's just here where we are today. Um, certainly we have to change these old patterns of behavior. Yep. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, I, and, and, and I would just like for, to ask you what you'd like to leave people with, like what is your message for people? know, so I recently started, um, well I've had Facebook forever, but. I've been using my Facebook as like a addiction recovery, um, niche. And the thing is, I saw yeah, I have, I have, it's like so many messages in one, but like the main one I want to put out there is like, you know, first of all it's never too late, too change. It's never too late. I have people that are like, oh, I'm, you know, I'm 50 and I'm be lucky you got sober in your thirties. And it's like, yeah, but. You know, it's never too late to turn your life around. Um, you know, and, and ultimately you should love yourself first. Like, you have to learn to love yourself before you can try to love anybody else before you can, you know, and, and it's difficult like being a mother because you have to love yourself and your kids. Right. You have to take care of yourself, your mental health first, so you can take care of your kids so you can, you have to pour into your own cup. You know? You have to just be strong and, and just show up for yourself because in the end, you are all that you have. Put your oxygen mask on Yes. That's what we're supposed to do, and that's how you take care of other people. And I think that's a beautiful message. Your story is so inspiring. You're inspiring. Thank you for the, all the work that you're doing, the way you're giving back to other kids too. We've been there. You've been in the place where they are and. Who better, um, to help them have better lives as well. So thank you for everything you're doing. Thank you for being on the Of course. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this episode of Grieving Out Loud. We release a new episode every Wednesday. You can find hundreds of other episodes anytime on our website, emilyshope.charity. We've shared a link in our show notes. Thank you again for listening, and I hope something you heard today stays with you. Until next time, wishing you faith, hope, and courage. This podcast is produced by Casey Wandenberg King and Kayli Fitz