I've spoken to police officers and they've said, you can't die from MDMA. I said, absolutely you can. Terry Almanza knows a thing or two about gangs, drugs, and organized crime. She spent nearly three decades with the Chicago Police Department coming from a family deeply rooted in law enforcement, but after her teenage daughter died of an overdose, Almanza says she was heartbroken by how law enforcement handled her daughter's case. I had, um, you know, reached out to law enforcement and they pretty much said Sidney made a choice. And, um, we were never gonna see charges. And they closed the case and classified it as non-criminal prior to her toxicology even coming out. Now she's trading her badge for advocacy. Terry believes too many drug dealers are getting away with murder and she's urging others to demand stronger laws and justice in their communities. people thought just, you know, your daughter made a choice. You know what, like, go away. You know, we're not gonna investigate this. The, the Cook County is never gonna prosecute, you know, this case. And, and I just couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, um, I couldn't let. What happened to her be, you know, she's this disposable person and she didn't matter. And she did, and she still does. Terry has formed the Drug-Induced Homicide Foundation dedicated to supporting families like hers. In this episode of Grieving Out Loud, Terry opens up about her daughter's story, what she learned about addiction through both her career and her grief, and how hard it was to speak out against the very system she once served. It's this brotherhood and, uh, for me to go and speak out in front of, um, you know, the medical examiner's office or the courthouse or the police department and speak with the media and share with them that my department wasn't doing their job was incredibly difficult because I love the police and I love being the police. I have nothing but great pride for what I've witnessed on a daily basis, Well, I am very excited to welcome Terry Almanza to the program, and I know about your story, Terry, because of the first things I heard actually after I lost my daughter back in 2018 was, have you met this police officer from Chicago who lost her daughter and is speaking out about it? And I, I haven't, and I, I think we crossed paths at a DEA conference, but this is my first chance to really get to know you. Yes. Yeah, sadly, there are so many of us and, uh, so many of us doing such great work. But my, uh, story is, is a little unique, you know, being a bereaved parent and also being a law enforcement officer, uh, in Chicago. So kind of both sides of the coin and, um, comes with an advantage and a disadvantage. But I'm trying to, um, take that experience and, uh, be of support, you know, to other families. And, and collaborate with our judicial system. Sure. Now, tell me about your time. You're no longer on the Chicago Police Force, right? But tell me about your time there. What? What you were working on, what you did. Uh, so I started in 1993. Uh, I was 23 years old. I came onto the Chicago Police Department. My dad, uh, was a Chicago police officer as well. Uh, my siblings are on the job, my son is on the job. Big Chicago police, family. My husband's a Chicago firefighter. Born, raised in Chicago, but, uh, great. Department to work for a huge pride. Um, being a law enforcement officer, much less a law enforcement officer in Chicago, I, uh, started my career in the ninth District over by White Sox Park, and, um, truly enjoyed, uh, being the police. I. Went on to working, uh, within the schools, within a, uh, robbery car, and then moved over to gang investigations where I probably spent the bulk of my career. I absolutely loved working in organized crime under, uh, gangs. Uh, so a lot with the schools. So dealing a lot with our youth that, um. You know, don't have family, don't have, um. Um, you know, support and, um, just to be able to go and sit down at these high schools or at their homes, um, or in these communities and speak with these young teens who are out on the street, um, toting guns, uh, dealing with drugs. Uh, robbing, you know, burglarizing in the middle of the night, you know, 10, 12, 13-year-old kids. And, um, I really did enjoy, loved, absolutely loved being the police. And, uh, at the end of my career, I, uh, was working in gang investigations. Um, did a lot of social media content. Um, a lot of research, you know, as we know, our, our kids are, you know, on, on social media 24 7. And, uh, same with, you know, people that are involved in gangs and drugs, you know, our youth. And so, you know, had a great career. But in 2020 just, uh, felt it was, it was time to go and, and retired. Uh, perfect time to go. At that time I had 28 years on the job and um, was 50 years old. So very fortunate to be in that position, to be, to be able to leave was a little disheartened with, uh, the Chicago police, uh, with. In, in, in the loss of my daughter and probably a huge contributing factor in, in why I left. Yes. I wanna get into that in just a second, but before we do, uh, first of all, it sounds like a tough job working, you know, to, with gangs and with kids so young and, and your sounds like you'd be seeing everything, right? The violence, the drugs. Everything that goes along with that. And I'm gonna draw a parallel here because I think there is one. I was a journalist doing stories about the opioid crisis and about people who had overdosed and died from heroin, not necessarily fentanyl at the time. We were just starting to really talk about fentanyl Yes, time. And your daughter. Sydney died in 2015, which is really before, I'm sure, and I know it wasn't from Fentanyl specifically, but it doesn't matter. Um, it was a drug that, you know, she shouldn't have had access to. absolutely. you have so much knowledge. I had so much knowledge that so many parents don't have. And so my parallel here is if it can happen to a cop's daughter, if it Yes. to a journalist, daughter, or a, I know judges and prosecutors who have lost kids, right? It can happen to anybody. 100%. Absolutely. Absolutely. I think that oftentimes people are. You know, misled and, and, and believe and, you know, have that false sense of not my home. You know, this, this isn't in my neighborhood, it's not in my community. And I think that's why oftentimes it's so important for me to stress that Sydney's, um, toxicology was, came back as MDMA ecstasy only. Uh, there was no fentanyl, no other substance. And it's, for me, it's so important because. Our youth, um, you know, families. I mean, I've spoken to police officers and they've said, you can't die from MDMA. I said, absolutely you can. And so, you know, she thought it was this safe club drug and it's this party drug and, you know. There is no safe illicit drug. Um, and so, you know, as important as these fentanyl stories are, and so many other of these, you know, narcotics illicit drugs that are coming through, it is important to get the message to everyone that you know, any illicit drug you are really, really, um, playing Russian roulette with your life. You are gambling with your life and there is no safe drug. Absolutely. agree 100%. And then think also, I'm sure you talk to your kids. I mean, I talk to my kids. I, I thought enough, I mean. I certainly had talked about meth because we, uh, over the years had done meth was the biggest problem. You know, at the time when my kids were growing up and we had done specials about meth and I had talked to my kids, and I'm sure you did the same after what you saw on the job, and you just don't think that your kids are gonna go down that path because you feel they're better informed. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes. We 100% had these chats. Um, Sydney, uh, you know, I, I am not sure if you're aware or not, but Sydney was not my biological daughter, but 100%. In my heart, my daughter and, uh, Sidney's biological mother had passed away from pancreatic cancer at the age of three. Um, and I mean, really doesn't even have any recollection of her mom to be so young and to suffer such a horrific loss at such a young age. And, uh, at the ages of four and five, she was the victim of some child trauma. Pretty horrific stuff that, um, she just felt she could carry on her own. She kept it silent. I came into her life when she was, uh, nine years old. Such a blessing. Um, uh, I have a son that was the same age. They're eight days apart, and I have a daughter, uh, another daughter who's older, and uh, my husband had a son who was as old as her, so we were like kind of the Twisted Brady Bunch, you know, um, but um, just, you know, amazing family, but. She carried that. And so, you know, a lot of times people don't understand why our kids are doing this. You know, you know, why would your kids do this? You need to talk to them. It's the parenting. But you know, you really need to sit down and, and, and, you know, get to know how these things. Do come about and, and why they do. Yes, there's kids that are, you know, just experimenting in peer pressure. But Sidney carried, um, some, some pretty deep rooted trauma and, you know, was told by friends, Hey, just take this and you'll feel better and you can escape from that. And, um. sadly, it, it took her life. She had just graduated from high school, um, just 18 years old. And, um, a choice, you know, a choice that she made that so many, Americans years ago, you know, did and would do, and, you know, thought it was fun and partying and, This day and age, there just is no safe, um, illicit drug, you know, to, to be, to be messing with at all. So yes, I had those conversations, 100 'cause I knew there was some trauma and I was concerned that she would try to be self-medicating. right. And I, I, boy, we have a lot more in common, uh, than, you know, because I, uh, my stepson, uh, also lost his mother at Oh, I'm so sorry. right. Aw. before he turned five. And I came into his life when he was eight, and he's Oh about the same age as my biological children as well. So similar family and, yes, um, I don't think he would mind me sharing that. Of course, he struggled with his mother's death 100%. some could you not, you know? Absolutely. I just think that, um, that's so understandable. And, but, um, clearly your love for Sydney was just as great as, as her biological mother, or anybody could love her because of the work that you've done following her death and how you went to bat for the perpetrators who sold. This child, the drugs because just 18 years old, this child, Yes. and for so many other parents, you did this not just for your own case. You did it because the drug induced homicide law in Illinois was basically what being ignored. It'd been around forever, but it was, is what shocks me.'cause I doing a little re background research before we started talking. I learned, you know, here you are a Chicago police officer and if you can't get justice for your family, how is somebody out outside of the whole system supposed to do it? Absolutely. Are you ready to protect the next generation from the dangers of substance use? Emily's Hope has created a comprehensive K through 12 substance use prevention curriculum designed to educate, empower, and equip students with the tools they need to make healthy choices are age appropriate lessons, starting kindergarten and build through high school using science, real stories and interactive learning to help kids understand their bodies, brains, and risk of drug use. We're already reaching thousands of students across multiple states, and we're just getting started. Visit emily's hope edu.org to learn more and share our curriculum with your school administrators and counselors. At Emily's Hope, we believe prevention begins with education. Let's work together to keep our kids safe. In addition to seeking Justice, Terry, like many parents struggled to find help for her daughter when she noticed that her daughter was really having difficulty as a teen, she connected her with a counselor and learned that her daughter had been carrying deep, unresolved trauma from her childhood. She was, you know, uh, self-harming. Um, she was isolating herself. Her grades were declining. She didn't wanna play sports anymore, and she was an amazing volleyball star. She had a collegiate scholarship to continue. Um, but you could see the decline in her. And I would say, Sid, what does the matter what? Matter. You know, I can't help you unless, you know, and I guess being a Chicago police officer and then having a mom that hovered over me, you know, I, I, you gotta know, you know, if your kid is struggling, you're gonna turn the house upside down because you, you wanna support them and you love them. And, um, so she, she wouldn't share, you know, finally, I did discover that, you know, Sydney had been a. Assaulted, uh, numerous times at the age of four and five by now. Uh, registered Illinois sex offender. And, um, we got her into counseling and she was, uh, eating disorders. Just terrible. And I mean, if you, you know, I'm sure you've seen her pictures absolutely gorgeous and loved beyond measure, you know, but she just, she saw something so different. I wanna take a moment to remind you that if you are someone you love is struggling with substance use disorder, or another mental health challenge, help is out there, your life truly matters. You can find a list of helpful resources on our website, Emily's Hope dot charity. We've also provided a link in this podcast show notes. I got an app, uh, called Teen Safe, and I was able to get into her, um, uh, phone and see what she was searching on Safari and who she was chatting with and what her location was. And some people thought, that's horrible. You're, you know, you're invading her privacy. And I said, did the same Yeah. These are, and this is before we even had better tools for yes. Mm-hmm. I was doing this in, you know, 20 14, 15, Yeah. you know, just to These are our hearts, and, and if, if we don't protect them, who will, you know? So, right. you know, so I did, we discovered, you know, what had happened to her, got her into therapy, you know, had seen that, you know, she was reaching out to, uh, the, the people that, you know, were ultimately charged and convicted of her homicide. She was reaching out to them to purchase ecstasy. Um, things like club drugs and, um. You know, I would have conversations with her, her father would have conversations with her and, you know, you're being overprotective and you're the police and blah, blah, blah. And, you know, and so finally, um, this had probably gone on for about, for about a year, you know, that we were scared that, um, something that something like this was gonna happen and, um. So the day that she died, I was out of town. Um, and I got the call, um, that, uh, she wasn't breathing, uh, raced home about a two and a half hour drive, raced home, um, came to the hospital, um, to, to, to find that she had already passed immediately. You know, and I think, you know, uh, with our experiences, whether it's in the media or a law enforcement officer or a nurse, like. We go into that mode, you know, um, and that mom mode as well. And I needed to know who did this. I, I actually, you know, didn't know anything about the drug induced homicide statute. I had never heard of it either, but I knew that if you were caught selling drugs, you're going to jail. So if you're caught selling drugs and someone dies as a result of it. Th I would think that that would be justice as criminal, if not more So I had, um, you know, reached out to law enforcement and they pretty much said Sidney made a choice. And, um, we were never gonna see charges. And they closed the case and classified it as non-criminal prior to her toxicology even coming out. Um, and that's when I thought, unacceptable. No. And I, I had learned of the drug induced homicide statute that it was being, uh, enforced in other states and other counties in Illinois, networked with prosecutors in Will County and McHenry County, and found out that not only were they enforcing it, but it was actually reducing the number of. Uh, deaths. So really pushed with the Chicago Police Department. Um, they finally, uh, reopened the case, but I mean, I had to go out there publicly doing rallies, you know, speaking out to the media, which was, that like as a Hmm, police officer on the inside doing that? Because were you ostracized or, I mean, did, was there a fallout from that? Because here you are a police officer and you're like protesting, like, open this case, press I am gone. I'm going against the people who I consider my, my family, my second family. I mean, with law enforcement, it's this brotherhood and, uh, for me to go and speak out in front of, um, you know, the medical examiner's office or the courthouse or the police department and speak with the media and share with them that my department wasn't doing their job was incredibly difficult because I love the police and I love being the police. I have nothing but great pride for what I've witnessed on a daily basis, law enforcement officers, um, doing to save lives and protect our community. But it just, it just wasn't being done. And sadly, I mean, to this day, I will still read how cases are not investigated. So I think it, it was just a matter of, and it's still a matter of creating this shift within our judicial system away from accidental. Too criminal. And as I speak more about it and I share more with families and law enforcement people start to understand, yeah, hey, there wasn't just, you know, this person on the other side that bought these drugs, there was also the role of the person that's delivering these drugs and they're not gonna stop. And Sidney's dealers, um, were. Charged with her homicide. They were released out in on bail in Cook County, Illinois. While out on bail, they picked up a second delivery case, um, for MDMA and LSD. So, I mean, here you are fighting a drug induced homicide, a case a Class X felony, you're out on bond and you get caught up in another case. Yeah, that's, that's, that's unbelievable. But what finally prompted the Chicago Police Department, who you worked for, who you were also trying to get to, oh, re, you know, reopen the case and press charges, what finally prompted them to do that? What was it? They knew I wasn't going away. I think that, um, you know, here you have, you know, It per one, 100% and, and you know, and sometimes people will say that. They'll say, oh, well it was because you were a law enforcement officer and. Absolutely not. I mean, the, you know, the, the fire department, the police department showed up at our house, you know, all knowing, you know who we were and we are this police and fire family and they came to our services and we had so much support, but it just wasn't the protocol. They just didn't do it. So it really took a lot of work. To convince them that this is an important tool within our, you know, judicial system to utilize, in addition to education, prevention, all these other amazing things. But it is an important tool that, that our judicial system has, and that should be utilized in effort of saving lives and honoring the lives that were lost. Um, exactly. Because here they are selling again, you know. Right. It's a deterrent in some ways for some people, right? And it, so it should be utilized because they shouldn't be selling these things and killing people and allowed to be getting away with it. But so often the victim is blamed, you know, or just discarded as even almost non-human. I, I cannot tell you how many parents have told me. Law enforcement said, oh, just another. or junkie or whatever horrible name they wanna use. She made a choice. Yeah. Yeah. nothing we can do. And so thank you for your persistence and that had to be an awfully difficult time for you. Um, what was the ultimate outcome when these two people were finally charged? You mentioned they were charged, they were out on bail, they were doing the same exact thing. What happened to them? So we kind of went back and forth and, uh, with, with the Cook County, uh, state's attorney's office. And they, uh, a couple times had talked about, um, taking a plea and I thought, absolutely not. I am not doing it. Um, we have a solid case. We can finally, um, you know, have this case. That will inspire others, you know, to know that this can happen and, and they can do this. And, um, so both of them ended up pleading guilty to drug induced homicide Class X felony. Um, the, uh, male, Brent Tyson was, uh, sentenced to six years in the Illinois Department of Correction. He served about three years. And as far as I, I know, um. He has remained out of jail, which, you know, I, I'm thankful for, you know, um, people often say, you know, uh, people within harm reduction are not big fans of drug induced homicide. But the worst scenario in this is that we lost three people. You know, that those two others continued to do what they were doing and fell down that, you know, and, and, and you know, it, a lot of it is about rehabilitation. And so. If you are not gonna get yourself right, then we're gonna get you within the judicial system and we're gonna hopefully get the help that you need and you're hopefully gonna take advantage of that help. So you do have the skills to make better choices and you're not out there pedaling this poison killing people. The second one was, um, she was a juvenile when she was, uh, was involved in Sidney's homicide. So she was charged as a juvenile. She did plead guilty also to drug induced homicide. Um, sadly she received one year probation. Um, but she was, uh, found guilty of the delivery that second charge as an adult. And she received three years, I believe, and she sure served a very short time. And I have not heard that her, she has been, you know, back in the system. And you know what I, I, I, you know, some people also often say like, this is about vengeance. It's not, um, there's nothing more that I wish than that, you know, these people would get themselves, right? Because when they don't, that means that we're losing more lives. And so I don't want any harm to come upon anybody. I just don't want any lives lost. Um, and we can't, we can't just dismiss these cases, you know? Um, these were, these were valuable lives and, um, someone took them and there needs to be accountability. I think also, I think a lot about forgiveness. Like it's so hard to forgive. The people that took your child that didn't seem to care, you know, whether this drug would kill them or not, uh, went about doing the same thing after this had happened. Um, you know, in Emily's case, I always say there were four people charged, related, and not all, not all directly. Right. and two of them suffered severely from substance use disorder and really needed help. And the other two were just really the King Ping actually bringing, um, Heroin laced with fentanyl and crack cocaine from Chicago into my community. Yeah. use their own product. Um, so it was interesting to me. But then also there are other people related to her case that got like a boyfriend that was never charged in her case, but. Led her down the path Mm-hmm. into drugs. And so as a parent, I think it's really hard. You see all these outside influences upon your child who was struggling in one way or the other. My daughter certainly struggled with some self-harming behavior like you talked about, and we were trying to get at the root of some of these problems. Um. people are vulnerable. It really, the people who fall victim to this are the most vulnerable in our nation. I always say, I, I just, what? Sam Quinones, you know, the least of us. The Yeah. us. The least of these. I mean, Yeah. and we're so quick to write people off, but yet the, these people were loved. Your daughter was loved, and my daughter Mm-hmm. And getting back to the forgiveness issue, have you been able to forgive the people involved in her case? Um, I think I almost don't have time for it. Um, and maybe that's, I don't know. you know, I, right. I don't think about 'em. I don't think about 'em. I wish 'em well, and I hope that, um, you know, I know there's a lot of people in our family that have a lot of anger to them, and I, I don't have time for it and, and I do wish them well. I would love more than anything for an apology. You know, when we had the victim impact statement they had any Yeah. either. Yeah. yeah, they had their opportunity to speak up and, and, and apologize for the life that they took. And, um, they did not, and also I just, um, I, I think for me. A, a huge win would be if they were to come forward and they were to say, Hey, you know what? Yeah, we did wrong and we would love to participate in your advocacy and share with the countless people that say that. Going to prison, that accountability, you know, um, isn't effective because, you know, it is effective and it does save lives. And it, and, and it, and it's, it's what you choose to do with that time. You're gonna go in there, you're gonna find God, you're gonna continue, or you're gonna continue to pick up, you know, worse traits. And, um, but I do believe, you know for sure that, um, you know, the one defendant, um, I believe he, he has gotten his his life right. I mean, how, how powerful that would be for him to work alongside this foundation and say that, you know what I, I wasn't doing right and I wasn't doing good and I didn't wanna go to prison, but it was what got me on the right track. I mean, how many people are there that are out there struggling with substance use disorder that refused to get help? Sometimes I feel that our judicial system, you know, needs to be able to. Uh, take those people and, and get them the help that they are not able to get for themselves. As one of the nation's strongest financial organizations, first Premier Bank and Premier Bank Card have the strength to do good. We support nearly 700 organizations and nonprofits. Our employees give more than 30,000 volunteer hours annually, and we are continually seeking ways to make South Dakota an even better place to live. It's the premier way, first Premier Bank and Premier Bank art. How many others then, following your case, has the drug induced homicide law in Hmm. been used in, has it, has it been used a lot more frequently since you were able to get, sort of get it revitalized in Illinois? Yeah, I think, uh, so. In McHenry County, uh, it's a suburb not too far away from Chicago. They lead Illinois in, uh, prosecutions. I've participated in podcasts with them, news stories with them. Patrick Keneally was the uh, state's attorney out there. He has since retired and it is now Randy Freeze. But they are huge on these investigations. Like I said, they lead Illinois. We're still working with Chicago. I. Um, have assisted as well as McHenry County assisted writing the protocol because, you know, that's a big part of it. People often, you know, and, and, and I, I, I think that my role within this, uh, foundation is also so important because I also help families understand the law enforcement. Um, you know, 'cause people will come on there and say, well, the police don't care. You know, they don't care. They're not gonna investigate blah, blah, blah. But oftentimes it's because there is no protocol, and so trying to help families understand, Hey, listen, you play a role in this too. I'm ready., And nobody wants to see, you know, these, these 15, 16, 2-year-old, 3-year-old, 45, whatever it is, victims deceased. Senselessly over drugs. And so, you know, I also, I I will say within my group, Hey, listen, we're not bashing the police. That's not what we're doing. We're not bashing prosecutors. We're gonna work together. We need to work together. We need each other. And so I will also even say, Hey, listen, as a family, and, and I, and I do feel bad because I think it's. It's kind of cruel of our judicial systems to task this of us. We should be grieving, we should take care of our children, we should be taking care of ourselves. But instead we're out there figuring what is the statute and how many cases have been prosecuted and what do I need to do? And so trying to arm families with that knowledge, Hey, listen, if the case isn't investigated, this is what you need to do. And sometimes law enforcement just doesn't know. So with the Chicago Police Department, I partnered with them to assist them to write a protocol when they respond to these cases. What are the things that you need to do to ensure that when you present this case to the state's attorney? It's a strong case and even further, the Chicago Police Department has now invited me to go out to the police academy and give trainings. With, uh, detectives to assist in. And, and it's great because not only, you know, am I a retired, you know, longtime Chicago police officer, but I'm also a mother who, you know, endured this horrific loss. So we are making huge strides. We have supported a lot of families next week, um, I was invited to do a podcast with the Illinois State Police. Super excited about that. Um, you know, I, I wish there were more of me, but like I said, as, as we work with other, you know, as we're a nationwide organization and I try to support these other families and we do, we have so many moderators and reps that help us to get that knowledge to these families, to be able to get these cases investigated. And not every state has a drug-induced homicide law. In fact, I don't know that my state has it. I know my, in, in the case of my daughter, they were all charged federally. Mm-hmm. so how many states don't even have a drug-induced So I believe the last I read was 34 states, um, have the, uh, drug induced homicide or something, you know, maybe it not be, may not be called specifically that, but something, um, catered to an illicit, the unlawful delivery of an illicit substance. But I do know that that felony murder charge can be enforced. In, in every state, every county. So again, but it's just, you know, I mean, it's hard enough in itself, but much less to be surviving the loss of a child to try to, you know, figure out where do, where do I, where do I go? Who, who's gonna help me here? You know, all. WI just had a father on the podcast a few episodes ago who spent four years investigating his own son's death and kept pushing and pushing and kept, kept getting nowhere with law enforcement. This took place in Oklahoma and eventually had to call on the DEA who, who, who Who, And it's ironic because, um, one of Emily's friends just recently died in uh, they weren't going to investigate that either until. We called the DEA and I helped this, this mother, you know, get in touch with the right people. So it shouldn't have to be the parents figuring out what, you know, what do I do when they say, oh, we don't have a, your kid is dead. But we have no case, Absolutely, and I do, I look forward to that day when, you know, one, this is non-existent, but to where, you know, we can focus more on supporting these families in this loss because we know it's not something that, you know, you're over with in a year, two years. 10 years. It's, it's, it's, you know, we will carry this with us, you know, until we are reunited with our kids. So, you know, but we do have some amazing people in Oklahoma. We have a, a Diane Sill, and she is in Oklahoma, and she does our Oklahoma chapter, and she, she lost her daughter, uh, Jillian. It has been, I believe it was shortly after Sidney, but she, uh, she was able to get a conviction in a pretty nice sentence as well. So, you know, any families that you know need support, please send them our way. I, uh, we would love to support and, and law enforcement and prosecutors. So drug induced homicide or your organization also has chapters throughout the country. Can you explain a little bit about how that works? Yeah. So, um, we decided to do that because every state, you know, um, is different. Um, some may have a statute, some may have a statute that's different. Some may have, uh, statute of limitations like Illinois. We have a three year statute of limitations, and that's a bit of a downfall. You know, oftentimes it takes. Six, seven, sometimes a year for the toxicology to come back. Um, there's a lot of subpoenas and search warrants on phones and social media and GPS coordinates, and so there's a lot. That goes into these investigation. And then there are these investigations. Um, there's a Beja County in Florida. They are picking up these, uh, uh, drug dealers within 24 hours of, of the death. And so the, you know, amazing work, but the chapters are, , run by, typically a bereaved, uh, parent or a bereaved sibling. Uh, we have some spouses within the, the, the chapters as well. It, they are private groups because we like to typically just focus on, um, you know, the next of kin, the, the persons that are going to be able to get the information from the detective. you know, as you've said, the stigma with this can be sometimes pretty brutal and we don't need, uh, some of the ugly comments. We don't want to, uh, compromise someone's safety or their privacy. You can learn more about the Drug Induced Homicide Foundation by checking out the show notes of this podcast. While you're there, we'd appreciate it if you take a moment to rate and review this episode and please, you know, someone that needs to hear it, share it with them. Together we can raise awareness and make a difference. Any loss is absolutely horrific. But the stigma sometimes attached to, you know, illicit drug use. It can be really cruel, you know? And, um, so no one understands it. Like, you know, my, my bereaved mama's dads, you know, um, that are walking this journey with me, and I am so thankful for them. I, I, you know, and whether it's. The grief part of it. I mean, I, I think I, in the beginning I was like, gosh, there's so many groups, you know, like, we need to work together, but everybody's doing something so amazing. You know, whether it's the borders, you know, the grief, you know, each are important, you know, and some days I may need this, and some days I may need that, but I'm so very thankful for, for the. I love that you're focusing on helping families get the justice that they deserve and you're focusing, it's a, it's a real niche that needs to be filled because like I said, I talked to so many families whose cases were just dismissed by Mm-hmm. they were dealing with, and so. For them to know this resources out there I think is really important. Thank you. um, thank you for that work. And we, we have our own work at Emily's Hope. It's different, right? But it's, it's all needed. And I Just as important. end, yes, in order to end this horrible epidemic, and I, you know, it's nice to see death numbers going down. Yep. to see. Um, I wanna see zero or close to zero deaths from, especially from Fentanyl and um, other drugs. Right. So what we just need to get to that point and then we need to keep it right so the work is cut out for us. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, thank you. Thank you for what you're doing. I, I appreciate you too, as well. And, and, and following all of this, I know you've had your own personal crises along the way, and, and one thing that I was thinking about, um, when you had shared with, with some of us at an earlier event that you had battled cancer in the last few years too, uh, in our support group of parents who've lost kids, I think so many parents end up with. health conditions. Um, I just think that this is, it's like a bomb. I always say going off in your family, the death of a child, it's like a, a bomb has gone off and there's so much collateral damage, and oftentimes that is, is your health. And I don't know that you can directly correlate, you know, your cancer diagnosis with that. But how are you doing today? I am doing great. I, uh, am cancer free. Uh, uh, a year, uh, June. This past June, I had a double mastectomy and. Uh, I am cancer free and doing great. I have one more, uh, surgery in September, but, um, I will, I will be great. And, uh, just, uh, but I do, you know, like I, you look, you know, and, and you see this within so many of the groups and so many, especially of the women, um, you know, them sharing, you know, how this has changed them and affected them mentally, physically. I mean, I think we've lost. You know, a good friend of mine in Illinois, and she was a Cook County sheriff, and I just adored her and she took her life. It was probably about five years ago. And, um, you know, we talked and I, you know, I mean, of course I see the pain that she carries and I understand it, but she had two other children and, and so, you know, people don't understand, you know, that trauma that we carry and that pain and, you know, they're, they're, and so, and I think sometimes that's where. Uh, parents will get on our group and I'll see like, oh my gosh, like, she's not okay, or she's not, and I'll say, listen, your first priority is you and you gotta take care of you first because you can't carry all this until you get yourself to a better place. And no, I mean, I don't think we'll ever be whole again, but. You know, this does, this is a heavy cross to carry in addition to losing our child. And so, you know, you just, you know, the moms will share, oh my gosh, like this is a picture of me, you know, five years ago when my daughter was here and I've gained so much weight and my face and, you know, and my body and. We've had three of our board members that took a temporary step down because they all have medical issues. Um, one of 'em a very serious heart, she had that broken heart syndrome and, um, so I. Yeah. And, and that's the thing, like, life goes on, life continues to go on, and you gotta keep up, you know? And, um, it, it's tough. It really is. And, um, I'm thankful for God. God carries me through this every day and, um, I, I wouldn't be here without him. And, um, it, it, and, and, and Sid inspires me every day. She's just, um, I miss her terribly. And, um. I, I, you know, people will say, Tara, this is, this has taken a toll on you. And I just, I know what I, the, the pain that I felt when I stood alone in this for so long, and no one would listen. And people thought just, you know, your daughter made a choice. You know what, like, go away. You know, we're not gonna investigate this. The, the Cook County is never gonna prosecute, you know, this case. And, and I just couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, um, I couldn't let. What happened to her be, you know, she's this disposable person and she didn't matter. And she did, and she still does. And so, and, and all of these victims do. And so, you know, I, I have a, she, um, her name Sidney, and, uh. At her funeral, a bunch of friends showed up and they all had sunflowers in their hair. And she was our, our, our flower child. I would think of her. And so I have, um, we grow sunflowers every year in her memory and we call them Sid flowers. And so every day I wake up and I have huge. Sid Flowers in my backyard. They're about 13 feet tall. I have about 50 of 'em. And this year I said, you know what? I'm gonna name every single one. One of the angel mom's children that I've met along the way. And I will definitely plant one for Emily next year. But, um, I wake up and that's the first thing I go to. I go to look at my SID flowers and they just bring me so much joy. And it's just a way of, you know, continuing to remember her and remember, you know, all of these precious lives that. They should still be here. And it's heartbreaking that they're not. And so that gives me so much comfort to know that they are thought about and they're loved today still. Yeah, I, I love that idea of a ritual of finding something that's meaningful. To you, and I think our listeners can really benefit from hearing that. Find something that's meaningful for you. Find that way to incorporate that into your life. It doesn't have to be a big public display of something. I mean, both of what we do is very public oftentimes, Yes, it, it can be as simple as. Planting flowers in a garden, whatever yes, yes, yes. and doing that in honor of your children and other children to, to find comfort. And I'm so grateful that your, your health is better and you're Thank you. But I know that had to be a painful and long journey as well. I have a friend going through a very similar, cancer diagnosis and surgeries and such right now, and I know it's been a long, long road. Mm-hmm. Um, And I think that oftentimes. When this happens, we're not taking care of ourselves. And so, um, it was another mom's story that I had heard that hadn't gone for a mammogram in years. And so her diagnosis was pretty far along. And so I said, I need to go and do this. Um, I need to go and make sure that I'm getting these things taken care of. And where I think that so many of us. Are not taking care of ourselves. Um, because the grief is just, you know, Right. so indescribable that, um, we are having, you know, these medical issues. So absolutely we have to take care of ourselves because if we don't, you know, um, we can't continue to do what we're doing and our, and our families, you know, and our friends, you know, need us 100%. Right. It's such important work and that's what keeps me going, getting up every day and doing it again and again. Um, just because even though we continue to lose people, which is, uh, so unfortunate and people continue to suffer from the same kind of thing, if just if we can just stop one family, I always say. Absolutely. through it, it, it's worth it. And, and I'll continue probably to do that until my last breath. And I have a feeling you will too. I think so, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for joining me on Grieving Out Loud, and I look forward to seeing, I've been, I follow a little bit and look forward to seeing more of the work that you're doing with your organization and, and seeing you down the road at some of these other events as well. So that sounds great. Thank you so much for having me, and God bless you. And thank you for listening to this episode of Grieving Out Loud. If you have an idea for a podcast episode, I would love to hear from you. You can find my contact information in the show notes of this episode. Thanks again for listening. Until next time, wishing you faith, hope, and courage. This podcast is produced by Casey Winberg, king and Kaylee Fitz.