Angela Kennecke: 0:07

Most of us wouldn't know the first thing about being a law enforcement investigator. Sadly, that's exactly what so many grieving parents have had to become. After losing their kids to fentanyl, they have found themselves digging through phone records, tracking down dealers, and trying to piece together what really happened. Because no one else will. For a long time, overdose deaths were brushed off as accidents. While that mindset is beginning to shift amid the surge in fentanyl related deaths, the reality remains. In many cases, no one is ever held accountable, even when the victim had no idea they were taking fentanyl.

Mark Russell: 0:47

When you knowingly put something in that drug that is as potent and as deadly and as lethal, fentanyl, call it what it is, it's murder.

Angela Kennecke: 0:58

In today's episode of Grieving Out Loud, I'm sitting down with Mark Russell Russell's son. Like too many of our children thought he was buying a Xanax, but it ended up being a deadly amount of Fentanyl. Mark spent four years, investigating his own son's death when law enforcement failed to do so.

Mark Russell: 1:17

I was furious just because I don't think that they gave one bit of care about how they were treating a grieving parent,

Angela Kennecke: 1:29

Now Mark wants to be a lifeline for other parents walking the same difficult path. He shares what he's learned how to push for answers, navigate a complicated justice system, and fight for accountability when no one else will. He also opens up about why ending the stigma surrounding fentanyl deaths is so crucial, not just for helping families heal, but also for saving lives. Mark, welcome to Grieving Out Loud. I am just really anxious to hear Graham's story. He just, from what I read and saw, just looks like a great kid and, and sounds like I, I just really wish I could have gotten to know your son.

Mark Russell: 2:21

Yes, he was a, a really good kid. You know, kind of fights the, the stigma that seems to be attached to. Fentanyl poisoning and drug overdoses in general. You know, these are our children. they're not kids on the street living in a, an alley, in a tent somewhere. You know, these are good kids.

Angela Kennecke: 2:42

Mark describes his son Graham, as very intelligent with a great sense of humor who was overall well-behaved. Growing up as a dad, mark did everything he could to make the right choices, including enrolling Graham in a private Christian school in Oklahoma City during high school, hoping it would give him the best shot at a strong future.

Mark Russell: 3:04

And so we kind of let our guard down probably and shouldn't have.

Angela Kennecke: 3:10

I have something to say about that Mark, because I really thought too, I sent my daughter to a private high school religious high school, and I really thought that protected my Right. you think

Mark Russell: 3:21

Yeah, certainly. our intent for enrolling him there was because he was about to get thrown into a giant high school there with thousands kids. And I didn't think he would thrive there. I really didn't. And so, we enrolled him in uh, private Christian high school there in, Oklahoma City. And you're right, you do think you're, you kind of think you're buying a peace of mind and it's not true. Right. we've come to find out but we didn't really have any issues. You know, in his freshman year, he kind of struggled academically, but it wasn't for lack of intelligence, it was lack of effort. He just. Wasn't putting the effort in. And then he turned that around and made The Dean's honor role, he was also selected as a duke It's some type of academic program they have at Duke University that they have some kind of testing methodology. To pinpoint these kids and they select them for this program. So he turned, you know, he turned those things around and he uh, played varsity baseball all four years and excelled at that.

Angela Kennecke: 4:26

Mark says, for the most part, Graham's high school years were smooth. There weren't any major issues, but like most parents can relate to, there were occasional battles here and there.

Mark Russell: 4:38

especially on a father to son level. I believe in discipline and Graham didn't. So

Angela Kennecke: 4:45

Well, no kid wants to be disciplined. What are you talking no.

Mark Russell: 4:48

There was definitely some, friction there. But at the same time, he, you know, Graham knew full well , that I loved him. I found in his email after he passed where, he'd written a paper and he had indicated, you know, he understood why his dad was so hard on him. It was just that he wanted the best for him. And of course, you know, just melt your heart.

Angela Kennecke: 5:11

Yeah, but Mark, I don't think you're alone. I think a lot of dads can be kind of hard on their sons, right? Like maybe their dads were kind of hard on them. And this is the way you know, that you think you're developing good young Right, right?

Mark Russell: 5:23

And to a certain degree, right? I mean, I would never say I was necessarily overbearing with him, but, you know, just trying to keep him on straight and narrow. and, you know, we'd experienced some drug use with grant

Angela Kennecke: 5:36

what kind of

Mark Russell: 5:37

marijuana,

Angela Kennecke: 5:38

Sure. And that's like

Mark Russell: 5:40

I mean

Angela Kennecke: 5:40

common, right? And we know marijuana is not for the developing brain. We know how bad it is for kids, but it's so like accepted and

Mark Russell: 5:47

Right. And. we just kind of thought, you know, as parents we were, again, lulled into a false sense of security that Oh, that's got, you know, that's it. Okay. So we, dealt with it.

Angela Kennecke: 6:00

Graham had graduated from high school, was studying business at the University of Oklahoma and keeping a solid GPA above a B average. Mark says there were no warning signs, no reason to believe his son was in any kind of danger. But on October 27th, 2019, Mark's birthday, their world changed forever.

, Mark Russell: 6:21

We hadn't heard from him during the day, but he had texted me that evening, happy Birthday dad. Sorry, it's so late. I didn't forget. I love you, blah, blah, blah. And we'd text back and forth a little bit about a couple sporting events that were going on, I think some football games or something. That was the end of the conversation for that evening. And when I go to bed at night, I, I turn my phone off. It sits by my bed. But he had text me later on that evening and said, oh, I just got pulled over for having a headlight out. And I was like, well, you know, your car tells you when your headlight's out. Just go down to auto zone. It's a real easy fix. So I get online the AutoZone, and I do what dads do, order the part. All he had to do was pick it up. I sent him instructions on how to change it. It's very simple and I didn't hear from him. And I didn't hear from him, and I didn't hear from him. And this went on the entire day. On the 28th, which is the day after my birthday. It got to be the evening, and when I started getting to worry, because that's not like him, like something's off, something's weird. And I think my last text to him was, you need to answer our text. You're scaring us because we're parents and you're not answering in a normal timeframe that you would. You know, normally answer us.

Angela Kennecke: 7:50

Still no word from Graham. Then just before eight, his roommate and close friend sent a chilling text to Mark's wife. Something was terribly wrong. Moments later, he called Mark directly.

Mark Russell: 8:04

And I was like, you know, what's going on there? What's going on there? And, they had to um, break down the door of his bedroom and, had called 9 1 1 and, you know, 9 1 1 was I guess talking to him on some things to try to revive Graham. My guess is he had passed away long before anybody had recognized Right in his room.

Angela Kennecke: 8:26

And that's what happened to my daughter alone in her I had said there was no saving her.

Mark Russell: 8:31

Even If they were standing right outside the door, they could not have saved him. Fentanyl does what Fentanyl does.

Angela Kennecke: 8:39

Right. And Naloxone will revive somebody from a fentanyl overdose if administered immediately. Right?

Mark Russell: 8:46

but if you're point where you're, you know, busting down your roommate's door, it's too late at that point.

Angela Kennecke: 8:51

Shortly after the phone call from Graham's roommate, the roommate's dad called Mark telling him the news. No parent ever expects to hear Graham had died.

Mark Russell: 9:02

no parents should ever have to hear those words, and there is no manual that tells you how to, how to act once you do hear those words. I was probably in shock for probably a good week, At

Angela Kennecke: 9:13

least I bet.

Mark Russell: 9:15

having to make phone calls the next morning to tell, you know, my mom, my dad, my friends Graham's gone. I think I did it with a little bit too much ease. I think it seemed too easy. And now looking back, I had to have been a complete shock. Like that's just not normal words that flow outta your mouth,

Angela Kennecke: 9:37

And everybody, when a young person dies, wants to know why. Why? And I'm sure you were asked that. Did you know the reason why or how long did it take before you knew?

Mark Russell: 9:47

I mean, obviously the first thing you go to. College kid is drugs. I mean, that's just the natural reaction, I think.'cause he had no other health issues, right? It's, he didn't suffer a heart attack. He didn't, you he wasn't murdered. Well, he was murdered, but he wasn't, you know, physically murdered. So you're right, people are curious. The first thing to do. What happened, and we did not know you know, I think it was probably about a month after the fact where I started kind of, you know, questioning how could this happen? What What happened?

Angela Kennecke: 10:24

The autopsy revealed that Graham died from fentanyl poisoning. Mark like so many parents, was desperate for answers. How did Graham get the drug and why did he take it? By digging through his son's Snapchat messages, mark discovered a heartbreaking truth. Graham believed he was buying Xanax, not fentanyl.

Mark Russell: 10:46

The connection between the Snapchat and the Xanax was that there was a intermediary, that was helping Graham get the Xanax. by way of Graham's roommates, I was able to ascertain who this individual was. Turns out he has a really interesting criminal history. A guy, you know, we didn't know who the heck this kid was. I'm gonna call him Bill. Okay. So Bill was introduced to Graham's roommates the day prior. They said Graham brought some kid over they'd never seen before, and they said, Hey, this is my boy Bill. Well, so I get on Graham's Snapchat, I'm able to match bill with Graham's Snapchat records, and I reached out to Bill and Kind of a nice tone at first, but then I turned into the threatening dad. And I told him this seemed to be prophetic words at the time, but I told him that the DEA would be contacting him, which no idea what the DA was gonna do at, at that given point. We were a month end of the investigation, and the DA wasn't involved. I just bluffed the kid and he said I'd be more than happy to talk to him.

Angela Kennecke: 12:05

At the time, police in Norman, Oklahoma had only just begun investigating Graham's death, but Mark felt the case wasn't being taken seriously enough.

Mark Russell: 12:15

And they just kind of wrote up a one page report. Really didn't even investigate anything. They just, you know, described that 9 1 1 was called and there was the deceased, and that was.

Angela Kennecke: 12:27

And no one was arrested.

Mark Russell: 12:29

Not to this point, no. in their eyes, they didn't know anything at this point. They really didn't. And it's because they didn't look there wasn't much investigation like I said., A detective with Norman pd left his card with Graham's roommate's parents that we were friends with before Graham and him were roommates. So we had a name and. He called like two days later and says, oh, I called you that night and left a voicemail. And I'm like, I've got my phone right here. Voicemails are pretty clean cut. You either left one or you have a call from you on here. But anyway, I didn't think anything of it because we didn't know what happened in to take. And through a friend of ours, a real close friend of mine , he was friends with a gentleman that at the time was in the Department of Homeland Security, and he reached out to me and we started exchanging information and at the time he was on a joint task force with. The local sheriff's department in that area. So this was their whole thing, was to investigate these types of deaths. I give them all my facts, give 'em phone records Snapchat screenshots. I mean, I loaded them up pretty good. I mean, the case was cut and dry from where I stood,

Angela Kennecke: 13:56

when you say cut and dry, tell me what you mean.

Mark Russell: 13:58

I mean, I could tell what had happened. I knew there were two people that were involved. I knew 100% who, one of them was. I had a first name for the second person. I had a phone number and a voicemail from the second person that I relayed to specifically this task force.

Angela Kennecke: 14:23

So you really became the detective in your son's case.

Mark Russell: 14:26

I absolutely was until a point it, it's a long, drawn out story and process that took almost. four years to get to that point.

Angela Kennecke: 14:37

Why did it take so long?

Mark Russell: 14:39

Well, I, I wish I could answer that. And part of it, I believe, the gentleman that I knew with the Department of Homeland Security got reassigned to a post in Virginia

Angela Kennecke: 14:51

Hmm.

Mark Russell: 14:52

left me with the Sheriff's Deputy. And that went on for, I wanna say two years wherein he was trying to claim that he was investigating the case and I would give him facts and new screenshots and I still have the text from him and some emails where he. Claimed that he was tracking these individuals down and was gonna go see them in Dallas and blah, blah, blah. And like none of this case leads to Dallas. I don't know what you're talking about.

Angela Kennecke: 15:27

But you kept pushing. You kept pushing. You never gave up.

Mark Russell: 15:31

I had, I had to

Angela Kennecke: 15:32

Why?

Mark Russell: 15:33

I didn't feel like there was anything being done, and I felt that way because there wasn't anything being done. This particular deputy who's no longer on that force. wasn't doing anything. I was able to prove on several occasions that communications that he was giving me were false um, that there was no investigation being done. So

Angela Kennecke: 15:55

Why not? do you think their reason for that was to you? Do you know?

Mark Russell: 15:59

I think in this particular case. I believe this guy had no interest in doing the job period. Not just Graham's case, but just he just didn't wanna do his job at all. I believe that's probably why he's no longer with the, the Sheriff's Department. Now the first, you know, when Norman PD did the initial investigation. The impression that I got and I think is probably fairly accurate, is they treat all of those as overdoses, as opposed to fentanyl poisons. And they think all of our kids are pill popping, needle using junkies and they don't want to waste the time or the resources

Angela Kennecke: 16:41

So you're saying it's stigma? It's stigma because they used a drug and that's why they weren't doing proper investigations.

Mark Russell: 16:47

it is absolutely a stigma.

Angela Kennecke: 16:51

Here at Emily's Hope and on grieving out loud, we're working to break the stigma surrounding substance use disorder because when people feel safe to talk about it, they're more likely to get the help they need. We're also raising awareness about the fentanyl crisis that's impacting so many families. You can do your part by sharing this podcast with friends and family and writing us a positive review. You can also explore helpful resources on our website, Emily's Hope Charity. We've posted a link in the show notes,

Mark Russell: 17:26

So back to the investigation part. I contacted my friend in Department of Homeland Security and I said, look, I don't think your guy's doing much here. I don't know what's going on. Doesn't seem to be moving forward. I've caught him in numerous, untruths. Can we do something? Is there somebody else we can push this case out to? so he said, well, let's give him a little bit more time. And so we did. At this point, all I had is patience, right? I mean, what am I gonna do? So a couple months ago by, and I reached back out to him and we're able to get in contact with the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics. I traveled to Oklahoma and they gave me a full sit down of people. I think there were probably a dozen agents in that room listening to my story. Well, thank God, mark, but it shouldn't come to that. It shouldn't be a parent's responsibility to investigate your own kid's no

Angela Kennecke: 18:22

and then have to keep pushing and pushing and to travel to another state because you had moved away from Oklahoma at this point. should not fall on the parents, is what I'm saying.

Mark Russell: 18:31

No, it really shouldn't. But I'm glad it did, honestly, because I was able to do a better job than they were.

Angela Kennecke: 18:37

Well, thank God you pursued it. I mean, of course you, of course you're the parent, of course you care and you, you want to see justice when it comes to your child's death. Thank God you did all that and you were able to do all of it, but not every parent is or can, I've talked to parent after parent who has not received justice in their cases, who were, nobody was ever arrested. There's not enough evidence. you know, and I, I feel really bad for those

Mark Russell: 19:02

I do too. more specifically, I, I feel bad because I know what they're going through and it frustrates me. I'm in several different fentanyl type groups with some other parents. On Facebook and when a new person gets introduced, I try my best to kind of send them in the right direction in terms of, okay, try this, you know, have you contacted this agency? Because I kind of wish I had that.

Angela Kennecke: 19:29

A roadmap. A roadmap. That's what you needed. You needed a law enforcement roadmap to know who to contact and what to do. Right?

Mark Russell: 19:37

and you know, to your point. Some people meet resistance and they don't get justice and some are able to, I mean, I know of a parent whose child was lost to Fentanyl and they had an arrest in 30 days and their trial's all wrapped up and everything in a nice little bow. And I'm like, how is this different now? I don't begrudge them that I am,

Angela Kennecke: 20:01

No.

Mark Russell: 20:02

They got that justice because going through what I went through for five and a half years is, is. Torture. But you have to wonder why is one case so easily , solved like that. And then you have these other parents, like you said, that, you know, I have all the facts, I have the phone records, I know what happened, but nobody will listen to me. And I've been to several of the DEA family summits and the same message rings out. Time and time again from these parents that don't get justice, how do I do this? And, you know, the DEA is not the problem. They are the solution.

Angela Kennecke: 20:42

So for you, in your case, it ended up with the DEA and how did that happen?

Mark Russell: 20:48

Yeah. that's the best part of this whole story. So I went through the whole spiel with Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics. I got my sit down meeting with probably a dozen agents. Got a lot of sympathetic ears. They assigned me a case agent. And it started out great. Started out really great, and then this individual got reassigned to a different unit

Angela Kennecke: 21:13

yes, for the second time. The agent working on Graham's case was reassigned. Mark says, yet another investigator was then brought in to take over.

Mark Russell: 21:23

Things kind of went on and I would reach out to 'em every once in a while. Hey, where are we going with this? Now when I say I reached out to 'em, I wasn't bugging these people on the daily, this was, I'd go a month or two before I would, you know. I understand.

Angela Kennecke: 21:36

You were giving him some

Mark Russell: 21:37

I understand how things work. Do I want you on case 24 7? Well, you bet I do, but I know that's not. you know, I was kind of giving him a wide ber and where are we at on this case? And so another month or two go by and I said, look, if you're not gonna do anything, , can I at least have my son's phone and his laptop back?'cause it doesn't sound like you guys are doing anything with it. And they go, yes. And I was like, well that's not the answer I was hoping for. I was hoping for, we're still working on it. And so I drove to Oklahoma to get Graham's. Laptop and his cell phone because I would, people thought I was nuts, but I was like, would you trust your son's belongings to FedEx or the post office?

Angela Kennecke: 22:20

No, not if that's the

Mark Russell: 22:21

I,

Angela Kennecke: 22:22

you have of him. No, I

Mark Russell: 22:23

I know there's too much evidence on there now to their, was able to crack his phone, which nobody had been able to do. And they did a data dump and so on and so forth. And it just kind of backed up what I'd already given him. So he calls me and he said, yeah. You can have his, phone and his laptop. And I said, okay, I'll, I'll drive a, I'll be there in a couple days. You know, gimme a good date and time. And so at that point he tells me, well, we've talked to the assistant Attorney general about your son's case, and they said they're not gonna prosecute it. I was like, wow. And I said, what? What's this guy's name again? He said his name is Dane Towery. And I said, okay. So you know, it was a long drive home, 11 hour drive with myself and all my thoughts, and I get home and I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna email Dane Towery. Couldn't be that hard to find. Well, it was, it took me 10 different email addresses. I was just kind of shooting in the dark, As one of the nation's strongest financial organizations, first Premier Bank and Premier Bank Card have the strength to do good. We support nearly 700 organizations and nonprofits. Our employees give more than 30,000 volunteer hours annually, and we are continually seeking ways to make South Dakota an even better place to live. It's the premier way, first Premier Bank and Premier Bank card.

Angela Kennecke: 23:55

When Mark did get ahold of Dane Towery, who was an assistant attorney general in Oklahoma at the time, he was shocked by the response.

Mark Russell: 24:03

According to Mr. Towery, he immediately emailed me back and said, I don't know who would ever tell you that your son's case was never presented to me at any point.

Angela Kennecke: 24:17

So what did you think then? telling you the truth?

Mark Russell: 24:20

Nobody at that point him, it, it turns out Dane Towery was telling me the truth. There was no benefit for him to, to, lie. To this day, I can't figure out why they would just flat out lie to my face like that. I really don't understand.

Angela Kennecke: 24:33

that's awful.

Mark Russell: 24:34

awful, but I expected at that point, right, like I'd been, I'd been lied to.

Angela Kennecke: 24:39

Jerked around Yeah.

Mark Russell: 24:43

at that point, you know, I was like, you know, thank you for your reply. And I had already had sent the ags office a, FOIA request

Angela Kennecke: 24:51

you're talking a freedom of information or a public records request.

Mark Russell: 24:54

From the ags office. I want to know, was there any communication between you and Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics, electronic, printed or otherwise regarding Graham Russell and they responded to the, the request and we do not have a single thing on on that. I still have the mail receipts in the kitchen on the.

Angela Kennecke: 25:16

How angry were you?

Mark Russell: 25:18

I'm still angry. I,

Angela Kennecke: 25:20

Yeah.

Mark Russell: 25:21

I was furious just because I don't think that they gave one bit of care about how they were treating a grieving parent, and that was a big thing for me. How could you treat if you're it, I'd rather you just.

Angela Kennecke: 25:41

tell me. I'm not gonna do it. We're not gonna do anything about it., We don't want to or something. Be

Mark Russell: 25:46

Yes. Be honest. Tell me the God's honest truth before you tell me an awful lie.

Angela Kennecke: 25:50

Right. And to get your hopes up that, you know, they're actually doing something. And just think it's, it's, it's abominable mark it, it turns my stomach.

Mark Russell: 25:59

Yes.

Angela Kennecke: 26:00

And you're the kind of person when I was an investigative reporter that I was always fighting for. Right. Somebody who's just messed over by the system. Right. I was gonna say something a little more lewd, but you know what I mean. Somebody who just the little guy just trying, you know, you're just trying to get justice for your

Mark Russell: 26:15

Right.

Angela Kennecke: 26:15

and the people in the system are failing

Mark Russell: 26:17

Absolutely, and they're failing countless parents,

Angela Kennecke: 26:21

Yes. Because you are one of so many, you know, it's not just you.

Mark Russell: 26:26

I wished, so I kind of took a, couple weeks off because this has been my life for probably up to four years at that point

Angela Kennecke: 26:36

So for four years, this is four years later, you find out they never passed along the case to the Ag G's office, then it didn't do anything. They lied to you four years after your son's

Mark Russell: 26:46

Pretty much four years of working on nothing but Graham's case.

Angela Kennecke: 26:52

Hmm.

Mark Russell: 26:53

No stone unturned. So I took a couple weeks off. I had to, 'cause my mental health was just

Angela Kennecke: 27:01

I bet.

Mark Russell: 27:02

suffered. And I was like, well, what, what do you, where do you go from here? What is the next step? We've already done state, we've done local, we've done a task force, we've done city. And I was like, you I'm gonna turn in a tip on the DEA tip line. So I went to the DEA website, went to the tip link, and filled out my own information. And I basically cut and paste an email that had already had sent to one law enforcement agency early on explaining the entire case. And I They either do something or they don't, but I'm gonna try. probably about a week after I filled that out, a phone call, unknown number. I was like, well, those usually aren't good. I let that roll over to voicemail

Angela Kennecke: 27:51

That call turned out to be from a DEA agent who had seen Mark's email caught off guard, but hopeful Mark didn't waste a moment and called him right back.

Mark Russell: 28:01

our first phone call was probably 45 minutes long. And wherein I had given him kind of a background on everything and told him, I'll be in Oklahoma City and I'll give you everything I a thumb drive and you'll have a copy of it. So in the meantime, I'd given him a phone number gleaned off of Graham's phone that I'd been. Telling everybody from day one, this is your person, I can tell this is your person. The voicemails was panicky and said, oh, you call me as soon as you get this. I can tell by this person's voice. They're panicking. They're panicking for a reason because they screwed up and they know they screwed up. But nobody had ever checked out that number that you'd given, Nobody

Angela Kennecke: 28:49

but the DEA did.

Mark Russell: 28:51

within. So our first initial phone call was probably, like I said, 45 minutes. He called me back 10 minutes after he hung up and he goes, I wanna let you know we are not pulling your chain. I pulled that number and that is the person you say it is. Just to let you know we're not gonna do what's been done to you. so I drove to Oklahoma City, met with the DEA agent. Um.

Angela Kennecke: 29:23

You're getting emotional. Tell me why Mark.

Mark Russell: 29:27

God sent me an angel. he probably doesn't know it, but God sent me an angel. the, the agent probably doesn't know it, but

Angela Kennecke: 29:36

The DA agent was someone willing actually do something in this case and to do something for you, for your

Mark Russell: 29:44

So So he and another gentleman investigated the whole thing and were in complete dismay over the fact that I had delivered so many facts surrounding this case and that nobody did anything with. The work I had done.

Angela Kennecke: 30:05

Once the DEA agent completed the investigation, the case was handed over to a US District attorney in Oklahoma. I. Then in December of 2023, a grand jury indicted the suspect, a woman who later took a plea deal. She admitted to selling Graham the Fentanyl and agreed to testify in another federal drug case. So you didn't have to go, you didn't have to sit through trial?

Mark Russell: 30:28

No, we, I, I just, I don't think that I could do that.

Angela Kennecke: 30:32

And she is awaiting sentencing.

Mark Russell: 30:34

yes, so US attorney called us about a year ago. It was, we were on spring break actually, and said, you know, we're gonna, we offer a plea, but we want to go over the details with you, make sure you're okay. And told us what she would've been facing versus what she's gonna get. And you know, my wife and I decided I didn't want to gamble with the trial because all it takes is one person to, to throw that off and she's back on the streets. And not everybody. As much as I would love for society to look at fentanyl poisoning the way that I do that's just not true. There are still a segment out there that. That claim that this was Graham's fault. And I've got a hard but

Angela Kennecke: 31:23

But he thought he was taking a Xanax and he was really taking Fentanyl. And as your son and my daughter, were both poisoned and, and that's what it

Mark Russell: 31:31

yes.

Angela Kennecke: 31:31

And that's what

Mark Russell: 31:32

Yep.

Angela Kennecke: 31:33

And so she's awaiting sentencing. Now what's the maximum she can face?

Mark Russell: 31:36

Initially she was looking at a minimum of 30 years. She accepted a plea of 20, 20 years of federal time. And I know people here at 20, oh, she will only do 10. Well, that's not true with federal.

Angela Kennecke: 31:49

No, not, not as much. After everything Mark has been through and all of the effort, he's poured into finding justice for his son. He wants other grieving parents to know they're not alone. There are people who care and resources that can help.

Mark Russell: 32:06

Not to give up, not to take no for an answer. I've tried to be really diligent in telling people, you know, walk gently with law enforcement. what's that saying? You catch more flies with honey.

Angela Kennecke: 32:20

Honey. Yeah.

Mark Russell: 32:21

and that's,

Angela Kennecke: 32:22

don't scream and yell at them

Mark Russell: 32:23

no,

Angela Kennecke: 32:23

they're gonna do what you want.

Mark Russell: 32:24

they're not gonna do it. And you know. If you are able to have success with law enforcement, I try to tell people also be gentle in your communications with them because how you treat them is gonna be reflected in the next case that they get on how they treat the next set of parents.

Angela Kennecke: 32:42

are you glad that you didn't give up?

Mark Russell: 32:44

absolutely. The other message I'd like to give is I want people to quit calling it an overdose when it's not an overdose.

Angela Kennecke: 32:54

It's hard. That's

Mark Russell: 32:56

yes,

Angela Kennecke: 32:56

because the CD, c groups, all these deaths together as an overdose. And some of them are, it is a meth overdose, right. Or, or, So I try to say overdose slash fentanyl poisoning. That's how I try, but I hate seeing that word when it's associated with fentanyl, although some people now are seeking out

Mark Russell: 33:13

Yes.

Angela Kennecke: 33:13

so it's so hard. But when we know their intentions were not to get fentanyl. Right. Yeah.

Mark Russell: 33:19

you know, if I could deliver one last message, I think that's a stigma that, i'm gonna turn my attention to changing. I want that view to change of quit treating everything like it's an overdose because it's not. But like you said, yes, some people are actually seeking out fentanyl and God help them, but your daughter wasn't. My son wasn't. But law enforcement in the public in general, the opinion needs to shift and it needs to shift away from treating these overdoses. These were poisoning. Intentional or otherwise. These were poisonings. When you knowingly put something in that drug that is as potent and as deadly and as lethal, fentanyl, call it what it is, it's murder. that's a message I'd like to, to get out.

Angela Kennecke: 34:08

Does having someone now who is held accountable for your son's death you in your grief or your loss at all?

Mark Russell: 34:17

Well grief is a hamster wheel for me. I don't think that there's an end to grief. I've said the other day in a post on, on Facebook, I said, you know, I don't know why they call it the stages of grief. Stages indicate there's some type of completion. At the end, you're gonna get a certificate. There is no completion You know, there are segments and components of grief and you're gonna experience them all multiple times over and over and over. There is no end of it. once we get to the sentencing hearing, I believe that will get me to a place mentally where I can start picking up some of the. Parts of me that I've left behind over the last couple years.

Angela Kennecke: 35:00

Yeah, so in my daughter's case, there were actually four people.

Mark Russell: 35:06

okay.

Angela Kennecke: 35:06

affiliated somehow associated with her death. Right. But you know, there were other people, other deaths as well besides my daughters. And two of the people had been users themselves and suffered horribly from substance use disorder. and were getting it or selling it to, you know, feed their own habits and help other people out. Right. Which is hard to understand, but , it was the top dealers bringing. The crack cocaine and heroin laced with Fentanyl into my community who never used their own product, who ultimately were charged federally. And one of them got 20 years and the other one got life. And I write about that in my blogs, so I did get justice, right, and I got, I got justice federally, and I got it fast, I mean. Fast because there, there were other deaths involved besides my daughters and the, feds acted very quickly on that, and I was lucky. I was lucky that that happened. But when all is said and done. My daughter is still gone. Right? And so nothing is gonna bring her back. I'm glad that those people are off the streets, so to say, or hopefully some of them are getting help. And the ones, you know, who were the ringleaders of all that, hopefully their punishment is enough, but I feel like then another person pops up in their place to do the same thing to other

Mark Russell: 36:18

It does seem, But you still gotta fight. And I'm so glad that you got justice.

Angela Kennecke: 36:23

I was one of the lucky

Mark Russell: 36:24

yeah, like you said, I, I don't think it necessarily brings an end to some of your feelings, of course, but it's not an end to the, to the grief.

Angela Kennecke: 36:32

No, not

Mark Russell: 36:34

but uh, you know, that's our proof that, that we love them, so.

Angela Kennecke: 36:39

Right, right. Well, mark, I'm so sorry of everything you went through during

Mark Russell: 36:43

like.

Angela Kennecke: 36:44

basically four long years, and that is, it's not fair, it's not right. It is in complete injustice that the system and the people in it failed you over and over again, not just once you know, but over and over again. I'm glad. I'm so grateful that you finally did get justice for Graham, or you're getting it right now, and, thank you for speaking out about it and helping other parents figure out how to navigate the often complex and stigmatized that we are all on.

Mark Russell: 37:13

Yes, and thank you for, for having me on and allowing me to share my message and, and my story about my son Graham.

Angela Kennecke: 37:22

And thank you for listening to this episode of Grieving Out Loud. Do you have an idea for a podcast episode? If so, I would love to hear from you. You can get my contact information in the show notes of this episode. Be sure to join us again next week for another inspiring conversation. Until then, wishing you faith, hope, and Courage. This podcast is produced by Casey Wonnenberg King and Marley Miller.