Angela Kennecke: 0:07

The media, it's almost like a swear word today to some people. There's no doubt journalism is a tough job, especially in today's polarized climate

Taylor Six: 0:17

I love my job. I always have loved my job, as it is designed to be done. But when you have all of these external factors thrown at you in curve balls every day, it's just like, what am I, you know, I'm powerless.

Angela Kennecke: 0:33

between public scrutiny and nonstop deadlines. Award-winning journalists, Taylor six faces her fair share of stress. And it started to catch up with her. For years, she kept a secret. She was battling substance use disorder behind the scenes.

Taylor Six: 0:49

to be found out was to die. I was just so scared of being, found out

Angela Kennecke: 0:56

You thought you'd lose your career, lose everything that mattered to

Taylor Six: 0:59

everything, but not just my career. It wasn't about, on some level it was losing those things. The most forefront thought in my mind was, what are people gonna think of me? They're gonna think I am less than. And no matter what I do, they're not gonna see all the good things. They're just gonna see that. And I hated it about myself.

Angela Kennecke: 1:27

Now Taylor isn't just opening up about her own struggle. She's also reaching out to help other journalists facing the same battle. In this episode of Grieving Out Loud, hear her honest, powerful story, what led her to finally ask for help and how that journey inspired her to start the Journalist Recovery Network? It's a real, raw, and with millions of Americans struggling with substance use disorder, deeply impactful conversation. You won't wanna miss Well, Taylor, welcome to Grieving Out Loud. I'm always excited when I get to talk to a fellow journalist. Maybe it's because I worked in the business for so many years. I end up having a lot of journalists on this podcast.

Taylor Six: 2:19

I'm really glad to be here. Thank you so much for taking the time to hear my story.

Angela Kennecke: 2:24

you are a print. We call it print, but I guess it's not really print online, whatever it is anymore. You are a journalist in Kentucky.

Taylor Six: 2:31

Yes, designed to be print moving towards online.

Angela Kennecke: 2:36

Tell me a little bit about how you got into the business.

Taylor Six: 2:40

Yeah, so growing up I was always a really creative child. I love to write, I love to read. I love to make skits and act them out. But I grew up going to the bookstore with my grandmother, and she would always buy a paper. In addition, she was and still is a freelance writer. And we would go to all of these local lunch spots and she would offer to write up a, feature story about these different places that we visited. And at the time, I was so young, I was just like, oh, oh my gosh. But in hindsight now as a journalist, it clearly had an impact on me and, and she was always a supporter of, my creativity.

Angela Kennecke: 3:27

that. Spark. Pushed Taylor to explore writing more seriously. She took an entry-level reporting class in college, joined the school paper, and eventually majored in journalism earning her degree in 2018.

Taylor Six: 3:40

Fate, whatever you'd like to call it. There was a job opening at the local paper in the town where I was graduating and I applied and somehow got it. And so I graduated on a Friday and started work at the local smaller paper, the Richmond Register, on a Monday. So pretty much just full steam ahead and. In a daze.

Angela Kennecke: 4:04

It sounded a lot like me because I also grew up loving to write. Really, it was my creative outlet and I and I continue to write of course, every day and also loved to read and liked to act out plays. And my mother was actually she was the freelance writer and the influencer of. My writing and she always wanted to be a journalist and actually became a college professor. So I think I fulfilled her dream in addition to my own. So we have a lot in common there.

Taylor Six: 4:31

Exactly.

Angela Kennecke: 4:32

These are tough days to be a journalist though. I mean, I'm probably significantly older than you and I got into the business back When I say, we were the early influencers, so there was no social media people watched three channels, right? cable was just kind of exploding. people got their news from, you know, local news, just usually three main sources. And things have changed so much in the field of journalism, and journalists have really, even though we go through extensive training and we're trained to be impartial, we're trained to tell all sides of the story. Journalists really, really are demonized today.

Taylor Six: 5:09

they are, and I think at the national level as we've seen, and then also it's becoming more at the local level too.

Angela Kennecke: 5:19

too,

Taylor Six: 5:19

something that I've really struggled with because I. Part of what's making the local level so successful is you are also a member of the community. But what makes it challenging is you are also a member of the community. So they know where to find you. They know where you eat at, they know where you shop at. And what became hard for me was I was almost becoming a community liaison for people. Oh, do you know a person who can help me with this? So, in a weird way was also, I was doing my job as a reporter, but I was also kind of this middleman who was putting people in touch with other people I had done stories with or on, and it just became a lot for me. And so, yeah, there is a demonization out there, 100%.

Angela Kennecke: 6:07

It is hard to do a job for the public and. I don't want this to sound like I'm whining at all because it's, it's a wonderful profession and it can be very rewarding, but it's hard to do a job for a public that then in turn doesn't appreciate the job that you're doing. And I think also people don't realize how stressful of a business it is. They don't realize the pressures that are on you to produce and to come up with new stories all the time and to meet constant deadlines. And in, in my case, where I worked in television. there's a performative part of that job too, where you always have to act like everything's okay. You have to look good. You have to sound good every single day. And I did that for 35 years, you know, so I know the toll that it takes, and I always felt like my cortisol levels were always high, like it's taken me, I've been off air now for a couple of years and still using a lot of my journalism skills, but. It is taking a while for those cortisol levels to come down for everything not to be urgent. Urgent, urgent.

Taylor Six: 7:09

Yeah, and that's something that ultimately led me into. My alcohol and substance use was just not only the high expectation that I put on myself, but also this do more with less attitude that we see, especially at the local level., fortunately now we're seeing more of a focus on mental health. For journalists in this industry specifically, but there was no course for me in college. There was no direct support out of college that taught me that my identity as a journalist, what I do for work is not who I am as a person. And that was something that was detrimental to my life for many years. And so , you're expected to do. More with less. I was, again, at the smaller local paper, doing the reporting, the photography, designing the paper, editing the paper, making the final edits when it came out, sending it to the printer. Sometimes in COVID when there were problems with the males, I delivered the paper to places And then social media, you've gotta have that too, right? So, and then we want more video. You've gotta have video. So it was just this constant barrage of do more with less, but why would you complain about that?

Angela Kennecke: 8:37

Don't complain. Right. Don't complain. And I think, I think you're absolutely right, and I think that a lot of that is because journalism has been taken over by corporations that are squeezing everything they can out of, you know, the individual, um, news. Sites to, offer a return to their investors, right? So, when I first started in TV news, the station I worked for was family owned. We had lots of people doing different jobs. And over the years though, you know, those jobs, you'd have one person doing what used to be three people's jobs., and that was really typical. And, and you see that where you don't have any. Ownership on the local level. It's very rare these days. I know at least in TV news, the company I used to work for owns 180 TV stations, right? and they have to give this return to their shareholders. It is a business, and sometimes that comes at the cost of individuals.

Taylor Six: 9:34

And to your point, I'm here in Richmond and I'm reporting and doing the things. The community, when they have a problem, they come to me with it. For decisions made by people in, I wanna say they were in Atlanta or somewhere out west. So when I say I have a problem with something, it doesn't resonate with those individuals at the higher level because. they don't see it. and you know, that's not to say they don't care or don't want to see it, but it's a business. And so it's just kind of like, okay, here you go.

Angela Kennecke: 10:09

As a reporter, Taylor started out covering local government tracking decisions at the city and county level, but when Covid hit, everything changed

Taylor Six: 10:19

we cut a lot of our staff. I kind of became a catchall, so anything that was going on, anything that I could get my hands on and cover for the other person, or they could cover for me, that's what became my beat. So it was a little bit of everything, so where I went to the outlet that I'm at now, my beat is crime courts and criminal justice.

Angela Kennecke: 10:43

Hmm. And those are heavy topics. And I have to say, I've said this for many years, every reporter has PTSD. I still remember the very first time I saw a drowning victim, you know, pulled from the water. I remember. Horrific car crashes that I had to cover seeing, you know, bodies and things like that. And then in my case or any, any reporter's case, you gotta go back and write the story impartially or I'd have to go on television and put that, you know, neutral face on and act like I wasn't a human being, wasn't affected by these things. And I don't think people really realize. The situation reporters find themselves in. And then if you have no way to decompress from that, no way to process that. No one to process it with. it can be really tough.

Taylor Six: 11:33

Oh yeah, it was a shock to the system the first time learning not only how the court system operates, but also seeing. How people are treated on both sides. You know, defendant, victim, victim's, family, and to no fault of any people who are employed as a part of the system, but really just how the system is designed and you hear these things, you see these things. Just a, a brief kind of story, if you will. I went. To a couple of sentencings after I first started, and it was all I could do not to get to my car before I just came unglued and let myself really process what had just happened. because you know, in the courtroom you're supposed to be unbiased, no, no emotion. And I called my dad and I was like, man, I, I just really don't know if I can do this. my number one character trait is empath, and that's proven through a Gallup study. And so I was, I was like, I just can't, I don't think I can really do this. And he said, Taylor, it's when you get out to your car and you don't start crying or you don't feel impacted, that you know it's time to hang it up. If you ever become numb to it, then it's your time. To think about something different.

Angela Kennecke: 12:57

I would argue, and I would say that your dad was right. I would say that I'm empathic. And I think that if you are an empathic person, it makes you a better reporter because you really want to understand, whatever, whoever your interview subject is, you really wanna understand them, right? You really wanna understand their motivations and why they do what they do. And, you tell a better story, but it, takes it personal toll for sure.

Taylor Six: 13:20

It definitely does. And it's, the things you don't expect. I can be ready to see the horrible pictures that are shown in court. I can be ready to see, but sometimes I think, okay, I got through it. Okay. But then you hear that nine one one call and it is just. Horrific. And so you, just don't know which one is gonna hit you differently that day. It could be the smallest thing, or it could be the thing that you think is really gonna send you over the edge and you're just, just, having a day.

Angela Kennecke: 13:54

on top of the stress that comes with being a reporter. Taylor may also be genetically predisposed to substance use disorder. Her sister, who is 12 years older, began struggling with addiction when Taylor was a teenager.

Taylor Six: 14:07

Being 15, this was the first I had ever come face to face with even really hearing about quote unquote addiction. but that feeling of just vitriol and disgust, it came naturally to me. Why can't you? Why won't you, you don't love us? What's wrong with you? So before I ever had any kind of experience of my own, I had a lot of that thinking that society and public has overall at a large scale.

Angela Kennecke: 14:43

and I think that those reactions are pretty typical among siblings especially younger sibling, when they have an older sibling, you know, disrupting the home and these things going on, you know, the sibling has no control over and anger is a, is kind of a normal feeling.

Taylor Six: 14:59

Oh yeah, and I, again, I was so young, I was 15. I was confused. I had compassion, I'm sure on some level, but I didn't know how to radiate that to other people, and I didn't understand, heck, I didn't understand well into my early twenties that just because I made a bad choice, that doesn't mean that I'm a bad person or that they're a bad person.

Angela Kennecke: 15:23

and also there's a genetic factor to substance use disorder. You know, if you've got this in your genes in your family, it's not really a surprise if your sister suffered that you did too.

Taylor Six: 15:33

yeah, it is genetic in my family and no one ever really talked about that either. parents or health class in school, or maybe I didn't pick up on it if they did, but I never really was told, Hey, watch out for this because it could come for you., and then I thought with what I experience with my sister, with her use and going through recovery, oh, I'll never do this. I'll never do that. I'll never, that could never, I could never. Oh my gosh. But I love her so much. I, I love the women that I've met in her program. They're wonderful women, but oh, that could never be me. And throughout my use, I set a standard of what she did and what I was doing. So if I didn't pass this threshold, then I wasn't that bad,

Angela Kennecke: 16:29

Wow, that's really interesting. And I've talked to many mothers who've lost, you know, more than one child. In this fentanyl epidemic. And you, you, do you think like how, you know, if one sibling had this, how could the other one follow suit? You know, it is just, it's, so much beyond your control. Once these substances get control of the brain, and there are personality factors, genetic factors and, and availability, environmental factors. So all of these things come into play. but it does seem to really. Also oftentimes run in families. Not always, but oftentimes. Looking back now, Taylor just wishes she would've been more aware of the danger and learned healthier ways to cope with life's challenges. She first started drinking and smoking marijuana at 18.

Taylor Six: 18:11

I took to them immediately. I mean, it was just, I don't have to think, I don't have to have all this pressure. And this was before I was ever a journalist. This was just, you know, life and. Those really took, and I really loved the way they made me feel. So I entered this kind of experimental phase where it was like, okay, well I will try so many different things and see how I liked them. So I figured out what I liked and what I didn't liked. And I found my drug of choice by age 19, but it didn't really kick off until years later., that I was really becoming like a heavy user. And what was your drug of

Angela Kennecke: 18:59

choice?

Taylor Six: 19:00

my drug of choice was stimulants.

Angela Kennecke: 19:03

so talking like Adderall, something like that, or methamphetamine.

Taylor Six: 19:06

No, just kind of Adderall, cocaine.

Angela Kennecke: 19:09

Hmm. Which is really common, Taylor. It's really common and actually socially acceptable. I mean, among many people.

Taylor Six: 19:20

Yeah,

Angela Kennecke: 19:22

Taylor says at first her substance abuse didn't feel like a problem. She only used when she partied with friends

Taylor Six: 19:30

and from there, once I kind of worked my way into that lifestyle, then it was more about, using it so that I could continue to drink because. I would drink so much and I'd start to, you know, get to a point where I was gonna not black out, but where I was feeling the effects and not the ones that you like. And so I would use, and so that I could keep drinking and kind of maintain the enjoyment, if you will, of the night and the evening.

Angela Kennecke: 20:07

And what was it about stimulants do you think worked for you? Because people only do things right that work for them, even if it's in the short term,

Taylor Six: 20:16

you know, I, I'm an extroverted person and it really took that over the edge. But I'm also, at least previously, I was someone who, I had a lot of emotions, but I couldn't express them to you. I didn't know how to tell you how I was feeling. I could see a commercial about a dog and just become unhinged and unglued. That was how I was able to get my emotions out. But if you were to confront me and say, how are you feeling? There was no way. And this kind of made me have the ability to just be vulnerable in a way that made no sense. You know, people were not gonna take me seriously crying at the bar. Just completely intoxicated. So it was one of those things where it was a release, but it still felt controlled.

Angela Kennecke: 21:12

Was there a point then that you were not in control?

Taylor Six: 21:17

Oh my gosh, yes. it took me a while to figure it out and I think in part that was because, you know, I was successful in my job. I had a car, I still have relationships with my family. you know,

Angela Kennecke: 21:31

are checking all the

Taylor Six: 21:32

yeah, I was checking all of the boxes, but I was miserable. I hated you. I hated everything. Everything was everyone else's fault but mine. There are those people you see that are just like, oh, it's such a great day I feel so wonderful and grateful. That was not me. And I looked at those people and I resented them because I just thought, how can you be. That positive and not just be delusional about life. and so the opposite has happened now, but I was just so miserable. Was the job a contributing factor to your substance use disorder, do you think? I would say yes, because

Angela Kennecke: 22:17

the pressures.

Taylor Six: 22:18

pressure 100% I love my job. I always have loved my job, as it is designed to be done. But when you have all of these external factors thrown at you in curve balls every day, it's just like, what am I, you know, I'm powerless. And so I. Used instead of trying to figure out a way to self-soothe, to cope in healthy ways. And, I threw myself into my job. And when it feel like it wasn't returning to me, then I was also disappointed. And so that contributed even further.

Angela Kennecke: 22:57

Were you hiding what you were doing from people?

Taylor Six: 23:00

oh yes. So everybody knew that I was drinking. Even some of the people who I partied with in college that would use recreationally, they were still in my life years down the road. And until I went and made my amends to them, they had no idea how bad things were. And that's also part of the reason that contributed to just my anxiety and my stress and my continued use was because. to be found out was to die. I was just so scared of being, found out

Angela Kennecke: 23:32

You thought you'd lose your career, lose everything that mattered to

Taylor Six: 23:35

everything, but not just my career. It wasn't about, on some level it was losing those things. The most forefront thought in my mind was, what are people gonna think of me? They're gonna think I am less than. And no matter what I do, they're not gonna see all the good things. They're just gonna see that. And I hated it about myself. So looking back on it now, I don't think it's so much of a problem as if they saw it, but I didn't wanna see it.

Angela Kennecke: 24:12

Hmm. And so denial, that's a big, part of this disease, and I think it's maybe one of the hardest things for people on the outside to understand. After denying she had a problem for years, Taylor eventually decided to seek help, but she says reaching that point was anything but easy.

Taylor Six: 24:33

I had this, this gut feeling, essentially just. I don't change something, this can only end one of a few ways. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna kill somebody, or I'm gonna be in jail.

Angela Kennecke: 24:47

How did you know that?

Taylor Six: 24:50

I mean, in the rooms, we call it a moment of clarity and it really was just. There's all these near misses and they kept lining up and I kept seeing them. And plus I had been interviewing people for stories about recovery. So all the while, like I'm thinking, ah, not me, not me. I'm interviewing people for stories in recovery because we had, programs here that were being launched. We had a massive spike in overdose death. And I'm hearing their stories and you can hear the freedom in their voice, and I could relate so much to their stories or how they were telling me they were feeling. And so at the time I was still in such denial. I was like, well, you know, I can probably relate to them because of what my sister went through. That's, that's gotta be what it is. And I'm just such an empathetic person. But then. I kind of was like, wait, I want what they have. you can hear it in their voice, just how happy and free they sound. And I started thinking about it and I, I would set these goals for myself of, okay, I'm, I'm not gonna drink hard liquor tonight. I'm gonna just have two beers and then I'm gonna go home.

Angela Kennecke: 26:14

And I've heard once you start limiting your use, you know you have a problem. Once you start kind of negotiating with yourself that you're gonna have, you know, then you know that you're not just the occasional someone who partakes in this, that you actually do have a problem. Do you agree with that?

Taylor Six: 26:28

Oh yeah. I mean, I would say to myself, I'm going to go and have two beers and drink like a normal person. I would say that, but it never resonated. That something else was going on with me. It, it is so weird to look back on and think, how did I miss that? But once those signs kind of started showing up, there was a night that I was aiming to drink less or whatever my twisted equation was for that evening to get by and. I blew past it. I mean, just full speed ahead, normal stuff. And I woke up the next morning with just this feeling of disgust. My makeup was still on. I was sweaty, hungover. my partner at the time was out of town, and so I had used that as an excuse to be like, oh, well he's not here so I can cut wild. So I had lied and it just was this. Overwhelming feeling, and I went to a regular scheduled therapy session she had been threatening to send me to outpatient treatment for so long.

Angela Kennecke: 27:42

So you were already seeking some kind of

Taylor Six: 27:44

Oh, yes. I had been in therapy for years, but it was all, oh, this person did this to me. You know, it was always somebody else's fault. I had never had anything to do with it. And she had threatened to send me several times and I thought, no, no, no. I'll read the book that you're suggesting. I'll watch some Ted Talks about it and never did. And so finally I came in there and I was just so broken and desperate. I said, I'm gonna go tonight. I had reached out to a person in recovery that I had interviewed previously, and I said, Hey man, this is so random. But you're the only person I can think to ask, where do I go for a meeting? And he calls me and I, I'm in tears. I'm like, no, please, no. And I answer. And he, tells me and he talks me through it and he says, can I pray with you? And I was like, oh my gosh, this is gonna be ridiculous. But he did. And I, I mean, I still remember it to this day and it was. one of the nicest things anybody's probably ever done for me, and I

Angela Kennecke: 28:55

Hmm.

Taylor Six: 28:55

night,

Angela Kennecke: 28:57

and after that, did you check yourself into treatment or what was your road to recovery?

Taylor Six: 29:02

so I did not check myself into treatment. I was still so petrified. That I was going to be found out, I parked miles down the road for that first meeting and walked because I didn't want someone to see my car. And I just kept going back and kept staying in the meetings. I, did what was asked of me. I got a sponsor and it was all very helpful to me. But. Again, I think it was this surface level defense mechanism. I did the work, but it was to show people I've got a hold of it.

Angela Kennecke: 29:42

And I am wondering about the stimulants too, because they do really change your brain and it takes a long time for your brain to recover from that.

Taylor Six: 29:51

yeah, I think for me, I, I actually did not go through. Physical withdrawals. So I think for me it was more of a mental, I was a social user and drinker, so I had nowhere to go besides meetings and to work. I didn't interact with the people who I still care about to this day, but I thought were my friends. I didn't know what to do with myself sitting at home. So I had to sit with myself, and that was very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable.

Angela Kennecke: 30:29

And you mentioned, you know, parking far away and not wanting people to see your car, not really wanting people to know what you were going through. Obviously at some point that changed 'cause you're talking to me. So tell me what changed and when.

Taylor Six: 30:42

I, I think I became so vocal about it and so outspoken about it as a defense mechanism. It was like, okay, if I say it and show you, you can't catch me, so here you go. And so I think at first that was kind of the thinking about it. But as journalist, we transactionally communicate with people to get them to tell us. Sometimes about the worst thing they'll ever experience in their life. A total stranger. And we expect them to do this with us. For what? Because we have a ID badge that says we're with a press outlet. I mean, that's crazy. So then it kind of morphed into this idea of, okay, if I expect people to be honest with me, I've gotta be honest with myself and I've gotta be honest. With other people too, because it was also very easy for me to admit, oh, I'm an alcoholic. That's more socially acceptable than if I say, oh, I'm addicted to stimulants too.

Angela Kennecke: 31:49

you've got a good point there. And what you're saying about how you ask people, like I always say, that's why I told Emily's story because over the years I had asked so many people to talk about like the worst things that happened to them in their lives and how could I not? Share what had happened to my family, and everyone always said to me, if it can just help one person. Right. And you know, everyone always says that. And then I was in that position and felt it. So I get what you're saying there, but I also get what you're saying about there's, because alcohol is so socially just. Just as awful and deadly and addictive as any other you know, mind altering substance. But because it's so socially acceptable, it's a little easier to say, I had a problem with alcohol. Oh yeah. So do 40 some million Americans. Right. but yeah, the illicit part, I think if you're getting stimulants and you're not being prescribed them, right, that's the part that holds the stigma.

Taylor Six: 32:39

Oh yeah. And. To this day, I still think that people really don't, I, I did not allow people, I'll keep it on me. I did not allow people to know how bad it was. And I will be very honest with you, and I'll be very transparent when you ask me what stimulant specifically, that is the first time I have ever admitted out loud to another person that's not in recovery or in my close circle that that's what it was.

Angela Kennecke: 33:08

Why do you think that is?

Taylor Six: 33:09

stigma.

Angela Kennecke: 33:11

Hmm.

Taylor Six: 33:11

So if you look back at this video and you see me kind of like, mm.

Angela Kennecke: 33:16

I felt the hesitation. I, I've been interviewing people for a very long time and I felt the hesitation there, but then you said it and I was like, well, yeah, because I know, I know that people do that, you know, and we know that it happens in all kinds of, you know, especially it seems like the more educated you are and the higher your socioeconomic level is, the more cocaine is out there and available. And we hear about college kids with Adderall. I mean, it's, it's not surprising to me, but I sense your hesitation.

Taylor Six: 33:44

Yeah, and I was like, look, I'm sitting here talking about honesty, and then I'm like. Okay. You know, she's asked and I've got to answer, so I can't lie, but I've always found a way to weave,

Angela Kennecke: 33:59

To make it sound a little bit better than it was, or not quite as bad as what it was. Yeah, well, we all do that. We all do that. To some extent. It might not be about substance use, but we all do it about certain things.

Taylor Six: 34:11

said, said, oh, stimulants, that's a wide range. She won't ask follow up after that. He sure did.

Angela Kennecke: 34:20

Yeah, I'm kind of known for the follow ups, but I'm not judging you for that either, because doesn't matter what the substance is. Substance use disorder is substance use disorder in my mind from everybody. I've talked to so many people from everything that I've learned, but I, I get what you're saying about how society likes to put things in categories.

Taylor Six: 34:37

It's very easy and it was very easy for me too.

Angela Kennecke: 34:41

But what wasn't necessarily easy was opening up about her struggle with substance use disorder publicly. A turning point came when Taylor was selected for a pointer, Koch Media and Journalism Fellowship.

Taylor Six: 34:54

So it is essentially like a journalism think tank. You go and you participate in onsite, summits where you spend like a week or so engaging in classes, but all throughout the year. You're taking online classes, if you will, about journalism and the industry

Angela Kennecke: 35:13

and it's a real privilege to be accepted into these cohorts.

Taylor Six: 35:17

I was stunned when I was put into there. So the whole goal is to obviously help you as a journalist, but throughout the year you're working towards. A project, a final project, and initially I wanted to do something about de-stigmatizing use of de-stigmatizing language. IE instead of saying addiction, substance use disorder, alcohol use disorder, et cetera.

Angela Kennecke: 35:43

I just did an entire, program on television about this and not using words like I even hear people suffering from substance use disorders say this about themselves. I've been clean for two years, three years, you know, and they were never dirty. I mean, it's such a stigmatizing word, and I, I do kind of use addiction substance use disorder interchangeably because it's a little hard to get. Too far away from addiction. People don't always know what you're talking about, but there are so many words out there that we shouldn't be using, and language does make a huge difference.

Taylor Six: 36:13

and I wanted to focus on that, but then it was kind of like, well, you know, a lot of people do that, or a lot of people have talked about that. There's resources out there already. And I spoke with an advisor and she told me, she said, well, why don't you create something for other journalists? Like, this is such a problem in our industry. Why not? Make it for a group and talk about it. And I was like,

Angela Kennecke: 36:38

How big of a problem is it in the journalism industry, do you

Taylor Six: 36:42

So there's really not a lot of studies that

Angela Kennecke: 36:46

Right. Journalists don't like to study themselves. I think that,

Taylor Six: 36:49

no, and,

Angela Kennecke: 36:50

or academia doesn't like to study journalists. I don't know.

Taylor Six: 36:53

and the thing about it is I sent out a, Google form with the survey and basically it just asked a whole list of questions to try and gauge the problem, and it came back out of 75 respondents. It ended up being one in four, have. Used or struggled with some type of substance across the board from most typically it was marijuana, but then you saw a lot of stimulant use in there too. As one of the nation's strongest financial organizations, first Premier Bank and Premier Bank Card have the strength to do good. We support nearly 700 organizations and nonprofits. Our employees give more than 30,000 volunteer hours annually, and we are continually seeking ways to make South Dakota an even better place to live. It's the premier way, first Premier Bank and Premier Bank card.

Angela Kennecke: 37:52

After realizing the scope of the problem, Taylor launched the Journalist Recovery Network, also known as JRN.

Taylor Six: 38:00

originally the project was designed to be. This outlet for people to come to if they want help or if they think they have a problem. What it became is, oh my goodness, there are so many sober journalists out here who have just figured it out on their own, and we all wanted to come together and say like. What do you do when a source asks you to go out for a beer to discuss a story? What do you say? What do you do at the work? Happy hour if you don't want people to know that you don't drink. I had to edit and proof pages in the back of AA meetings with, I had my laptop screen down like this, trying to edit because I didn't want people to see where I worked or who I was. So. it became this outlet for people, so many of us who are already out there sober or otherwise. So I would say there's a lot, a lot of people who are in this industry who have struggled and pulled themselves into recovery, into sobriety, And I think that's just so great to see the level in which I now know that I am not unique in that regard. But yeah, anybody can reach out to us and say. Hey, I think I'm struggling. How do I know? What can I do? I just need somebody to talk to, or I'm recently sober and I'm trying to navigate X, Y, Z. So it is designed for people who may think they have a problem, that just wanna talk. People who do want help, people who have been newly sober. People who have been sober 30 plus years. if you're a writer and you think. You have a problem with substances, reach out.

Angela Kennecke: 39:54

Yeah. And has it been rewarding for you?

Taylor Six: 39:57

It has As I said, it's been eye-opening to find out there's so many people who are in this industry and are successful, but they're also successful in their own lives as an individual. Separate from being a journalist, they have their whole own identity and it has been so rewarding to meet and connect with these people to know that the problems that I have over here where I'm at are the exact same problems that they're trying to figure out or have already figured out in their career too. So it's just been such an honor to meet these individuals as people. And then as journalists as well.

Angela Kennecke: 40:42

And what keeps you in recovery?

Taylor Six: 40:45

Whew. I don't, wow, that's a powerful question. I know what life was like for me. I know I can be a successful journalist. I've proven that to myself and others. I wanna show myself that I can be a happy individual, a happy person, a person who has the balance in life to help other people, for people to want to come to me and say, Hey, I need help with a problem. Can you help me? I thought of you. That was not the case before people steered, cleared of my erratic behavior, and I just wanna know that if something were ever to happen to my job or if I were ever to lead this industry, my life has fulfillment outside of that.

Angela Kennecke: 41:43

That's right. We cannot be completely identified by our professions and in this society that the first question always is, what do you do? You know, I've tried to change that and ask people like, what are you working on these days? Or, you know, what is making you happy these days? Or something that's not exactly like, what do you do for a living? because that's how we size people up and judge them and figure out if we wanna talk to them even. Uh, so yeah, you're right. You have to. Be more than just your profession and, but you've got skills that translate to many. You could do many different things, actually.

Taylor Six: 42:17

yeah, if you are good at writing and just good at. Being a people person to a certain extent, that'll take you far. If you have a good network that'll take you far.

Angela Kennecke: 42:29

Right, right. Well, thank you for the work that you're doing and the work that you're doing to help other journalists and to also provide a really good. Support for journalists out there. I think that's really important because in a day and age when often, like I said earlier, we can be demonized and, looked as the bad guy and the least trusted. I think I saw one study that journalists are. Less trusted than politicians. People trust politicians more than they trust journalists. Have you seen that one? So like I picked the profession because I love to tell stories and I thought I could make a difference with those stories. That's why I picked it. And I think I did. I think I actually did. Make a difference. I think I'm making a bigger difference now running a charity. when I made the decision to leave the business after 35 years, I thought, my stories may have maybe made some differences, but this can make a bigger difference. But I think that, , it's unfortunate that it, it's gotten that way for so many people in this profession.

Taylor Six: 43:28

It really is, but hopefully you know. A new era is on us. Things have to fall apart before they come together, and that's with anything. And so with the work that you're doing, if it's a person who is in recovery, a person who is still struggling in active use, if it's a journalist, successful, no matter what, we're all just trying our best. And. I'm just trying to be a good person at the end of the day, professionally and personally, and that's all I can do.

Angela Kennecke: 44:01

Oh, that's terrific. Well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast.

Taylor Six: 44:04

you so much for having me, and thank you for the work you do.

Angela Kennecke: 44:08

And thank you for listening to this episode of Grieving Out Loud. If you'd like to learn more about the Journalist Recovery Network, just check out the show notes. And while you're there, we'd be so grateful if you'd rate and review the podcast and share this episode with your friends or family. You probably know someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps break the stigma around substance use disorder and may help someone take that first step toward healing. Thanks again for listening. Until next time, wishing you faith, hope, and courage. This podcast is produced by Casey Wonnenberg King and Marley Miller.,