Angela Kennecke: 0:07

Every six minutes, an American dies from a drug overdose or fentanyl poisoning. Let that sink in every six minutes. The United States is facing the deadliest drug epidemic in its history, yet in many cases, warning signs could have helped prevent a tragedy. One of those signs is a non fatal overdose. People who survive an overdose are significantly at higher risk of experiencing another, one that could be deadly. Research shows that among emergency room patients treated for an opioid overdose, about 6 percent die within a year. Nearly a quarter of those deaths occur just one month after leaving the hospital.

Cameron Nielson: 0:53

and I remember crying. You know, cause I couldn't stop. I wanted to. I wanted to, but I just couldn't. You know, it's hard for me to talk about even today. Because, you know, I think that was the day I realized, like, You know, is this the rest of my life? Is this all there is?

Angela Kennecke: 1:21

Too often, people hospitalized for an overdose don't receive the resources they need to prevent another. That's why Emily's Hope has launched a new program, the Post Overdose Response Team, or PORT. Our Peer Support Specialist meets people where they're at, including in the hospital.

Vanessa Needles: 1:40

To stand in front of someone who's going through something that is terrifying and let them know that they are not in any sort of trouble, that, you know, I've been through the same thing that you're going through right now, so I know all the feelings, I know how scared you are, but I'm here for you, I'm gonna support you, and what are our next steps, to keep you from being in this position again?

Angela Kennecke: 2:14

I'm Angela Kennecke, your host of Grieving Out Loud and the founder of Emily's Hope. In the last year alone, nearly 49 million Americans struggled with substance use disorder. Addiction doesn't just impact the person who's battling it, it affects entire families, often in ways they never imagined.

Lisa Nielson: 2:34

He was a great kid. He was a voracious reader. He always did really well in school.

Angela Kennecke: 2:40

Growing up, Lisa Nielsen's son Cameron thrived in many areas, but as he entered high school, she began noticing troubling changes in his behavior.

Lisa Nielson: 2:51

And he just was not very interested in school. He wasn't reading anymore. I would go to a teacher conference and the teacher would say, Who's, who's your son? I'd say Cameron. And he'd say, I haven't met Cameron. I said, What do you mean you haven't met Cameron? He says, He doesn't come to my class. What?

Angela Kennecke: 3:16

Lisa says Cameron also started hanging out with new friends, friends who weren't the best influences on her son..

Cameron Nielson: 3:24

I was 15 years old I was playing hockey and hanging out with my friends from the hockey team. And it just came up one day we were going to smoke some weed and, you know, have fun and get into trouble. And, when we started smoking weed, it was like a once a week type deal.

Angela Kennecke: 3:41

Within just a few months, Cameron's once a week hangouts with friends spiraled into something much bigger. At first, he didn't see his marijuana use as a problem.

Cameron Nielson: 3:51

It's just like the anxieties and the stress and the worries of everyday life just kind of get pushed to the side. And you can be yourself, you can laugh, everything seems funnier. You know, things just seem a lot lighter. And you know, when you're in a place where you're not happy with yourself or with your life, that little vacation you can take using the substance, you cling to that. And Once you get off that substance and you're pulled back into everyday life, all you can think about is taking that little vacation again.

Angela Kennecke: 4:28

While experts debate whether marijuana is a gateway drug, Cameron has no doubt that it was for him.

Cameron Nielson: 4:36

before trying marijuana and smoking that regularly, I didn't really notice any issues with like depression or anxiety. I mean, everybody has anxiety, you know, stresses and stuff like that, especially when you're 15, you know, everything's huge to you. But after smoking marijuana, it seemed like those problems got worse. When I wasn't high, my depression was worse. And then all of a sudden, I feel anxious just going to school. And it's like, you know, in my mind, I was thinking, Oh, I just need to smoke more, and those will go away. You know, that's, I'll just smoke more. Because I don't feel anxious when I'm high. The issue is, when I was sober, I didn't like who I was and how I felt in my own body. And you know, I just constantly wanted something.

Angela Kennecke: 5:26

As Cameron's tolerance to marijuana grew, he started using more. By the time he was 16, he decided to try opioids, starting with hydrocodone pills.

Cameron Nielson: 5:37

Once the gates were opened from smoking marijuana, I was not scared to try other things. So I moved on to painkillers after weed. And I like those a lot better. it doesn't smell. You don't have to smoke it. It's easy to hide. and I liked that because I was scared of getting in trouble. You know, I didn't want to get in trouble for smoking weed. That scared me. And, you know, I had these little pills and I could just hide them. I could take them whenever, you know, I could sit at the dinner table and sneak one in, you know what I mean? And I really liked that and they felt good.

Angela Kennecke: 6:12

Despite trying to hide his drug use, it wasn't long before his family noticed they knew something was wrong. They just didn't know how to handle it.

Lisa Nielson: 6:22

It's really hard because. you don't want to do certain things to make them go the other direction just to spite you. you want to be a parent, but you still want to be friends because you want them to feel comfortable coming to you. And I, I've always felt like me and Cameron have had a pretty honest, open relationship. He's talked to me about his drug use. He's talked to me about his relationships. yeah, that first time he got in trouble and went to the juvenile court, that judge told me, he has a drug problem and you should think about some kind of a rehab program. And, my husband, what I were like, he got caught in the park smoking weed with some friends. It doesn't have a drug problem. you know, she knew something I didn't. But, it took me two years to be able to say, my son has a drug problem. It was really hard to deal with, it was really hard to admit, and I could never talk about it with other people.

Cameron Nielson: 7:32

You know, Nobody grows up and is like, I don't want to be addicted to drugs. It just slowly happens and when you're young, you know, you're not mature enough to think like, Hey, this has been going on for a while. I should probably stop or I should ask for help. Cause I wasn't going to ask for help. Cause I didn't want to get in trouble.

Angela Kennecke: 7:49

Cameron says that when he was first caught with marijuana at 17 and got into legal trouble, he stopped using drugs, but only for a few weeks.

Cameron Nielson: 7:59

Because I was like, are they going to drug test me? I don't know, I probably shouldn't smoke. Because if they drug test me and I pop for it, I might go to jail. And I don't want to do that, you know, I don't want my problems to get worse. Yeah. So a couple months go by talking to this kid that was in teen court with me and he's like, Oh yeah, no, they're not going to drug test you, dude. He's like, if they haven't already, it's not going to happen. And I was like, okay, so I started smoking again. But you know, in the couple months that I wasn't smoking, I did move on to different alternatives. I was drinking an over the counter cough syrup, like by the bottle. Because I needed something.

Angela Kennecke: 8:38

Meanwhile, Lisa says she was constantly worried about her son. With a lack of resources at that time, she didn't know what to do, or who to turn to, to ask for help.

Lisa Nielson: 8:50

Every time he leaves the room, what's he doing? is he hiding in the bathroom doing drugs? He leaves the house. He's going to Wal Mart to get shampoo. Is he really going to Wal Mart to get shampoo? Or is he meeting somebody in the Walgreens parking lot? I mean, you don't, that's what your mind is thinking about all the time.

Cameron Nielson: 9:08

Mean there's a lot of disappointment in myself because I understood what I was doing was wrong, but I just couldn't stop. Looking back on it, I'm like, You know, I was just a kid. And I'm just obsessed with this thing. And, I mean, all my money was going to it. I was, you know, looking at stuff about it online, talking about it with my friends, listening to music, you know, about drugs, and I couldn't get away from it. It was my entire life. I mean, I remember being a hockey player, going on a bus out to Minneapolis, And I'm just almost drooling from being on Xanax and Oxycontin. Like, I'm up in a hotel room with a buddy and we're snorting pills before a hockey game. some of the stuff I did, I just cannot believe I did that. And it's been difficult trying to move on from that, you know, I have a lot of regret.

Angela Kennecke: 10:05

The stigma and shame that come with substance use disorder can feel paralyzing. It's not just difficult for those who are struggling, it's so tough on their loved ones, too.

Lisa Nielson: 10:15

You know, I always felt like there's This is because I was a bad parent. What did I do wrong? What did I do to make him do drugs? Why was he unhappy? Was that because of me? But him and I have talked about that, and I've asked him, Is there anything in your life that I could have done differently that would have made you not do drugs that first time? And he said no. And as a parent, that's what It's just, you know, you can't help but blame yourself. You know, you do the best you can. As one of the nation's strongest financial organizations, first Premier Bank and Premier Bank Card have the strength to do good. We support nearly 700 organizations and nonprofits. Our employees give more than 30,000 volunteer hours annually, and we are continually seeking ways to make South Dakota an even better place to live. It's the premier way, first Premier Bank and Premier Bank card.

Angela Kennecke: 11:24

And as Cameron began treatment, the family gained a deeper understanding of the disease. Altogether, Cameron has entered treatment four different times.

Lisa Nielson: 11:34

there's something different in his brain than other people. You know, there are people out there who, party occasionally, smoke weed once in a while, and that's the end of the story. But for people like Cameron, you can't do that because it won't end and there's a lot of people out there that don't understand that and until people start understanding what addiction really is there's always going to be that stigma.

Angela Kennecke: 12:03

The stigma and misunderstanding of substance use disorder further complicated Cameron's battle with the disease. He first went to treatment at just 17.

Cameron Nielson: 12:12

mean, honestly I was 17. You know, it's, you tell me something and I'm not gonna do it , you know? But. I went to Keystone Adolescent for treatment and I mean, it was a, it was a good program. They were teaching good stuff there, but I just, I couldn't latch onto it at that age. I couldn't, because when you get sober like that, you really have to be about it. I mean, you have to want it and it's got to be everything. And I just, at that age. I didn't care. I was somewhere else in my mind and, you know, I couldn't wait to get out. And then insurance actually cut me off after two weeks., so I didn't even get the full program.

Angela Kennecke: 12:56

For a decade, Cameron fought to stay in recovery. He cycled in and out of treatment, sometimes staying drug free for months, even years, only to relapse again. Here's Cameron's story about one of those relapses.

Cameron Nielson: 13:14

I was working at UPS loading trailers. And an old friend hit me up and he was like, Hey, you know, where you been? I haven't seen you in a while. Come hang out. And so, I didn't really hang out with them. I just kind of showed up, bought some pills and left., more Xanax pills. To this day I couldn't tell you why. You know, it was just like, It wasn't like you thought it out. No, it was just automatic. It was like, I'm gonna go do this, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna take these pills. And, I don't really remember much after that. I remember my mom telling me, I was like, eating a napkin. I was just sitting there on the couch, just like, chewing on a napkin. Just like, drooling. you know, and I remember crying. You know, cause I couldn't stop. I wanted to. I wanted to, but I just couldn't. You know, it's hard for me to talk about even today. Because, you know, I think that was the day I realized, like, You know, is this the rest of my life? Is this all there is? Is this me? Trying to fight this addiction. I can't do it. You know, and I just, I I stopped with the Xanax after that. cause that kind of scared me. And you know, I wanted to be an adult and I wanted to grow up. You know, get a job., I wanted the picket fence in the house.

Angela Kennecke: 14:51

That dream is coming closer to reality after Cameron's last relapse ended with him in the emergency room.

Cameron Nielson: 14:58

I was at a girlfriend's house, watching her dog while she was at work and I was just in full blown withdrawals. she had found a box of drugs at my house and had given them to my mom and told my mom what was happening. So I had gone home before I went to her house and I was like, you know, what's going on here? Where's my stuff and it was gone and I started panicking. I was like, oh man, this is not gonna be good It's not gonna be good. And I ended up finding a pillow in my car That I remember seeing that was sitting there in the cup holder So I took that and I was like, I was okay. I was still a little sick, but I was okay Went over to her house, let her dog out, and And she said I could spend the night there. So I was just in her bed and I started shaking, you know, that familiar feeling. I started sweating, you know, I'm just really hot and sweaty, but I'm freezing and I'm terrified of everything. You know, everything's making me jump. I didn't want to get up. I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink. All I could do was just sit there and shake and puff on my little weed pen, you know, praying to God like, you know, either kill me or get me out of this. And the next morning, she ended up getting home at 4 a. m. I must have fallen asleep. And so she just went to bed. I woke up the next morning and she's like, you know, trying to feed me. And I'm like, no, she's like, you got to get up and go to work. I'm like, I can't get up. Like, I can't do anything. Like, please, like, you know, she's panicking and running around the house. Like, what do I do? I don't know what to do. Like, what should I do? You know, and I'm laying there like, it's going to be okay. Calm down. But I was in bad shape. I felt frozen. Like, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to call. I didn't want to call anybody. I just wanted to lay there and just suffer and just get through it. I just wanted to suffer it out, you know, just and she called my mom and told her to come get me because I'm obviously not doing well. And so she showed up and I remember walking outside and she goes, you look like shit. I was like, yeah, I feel like shit. And I just kind of threw myself in the back of her car and she took me to Sanford emergency room and they got me in and I just Wanted it all to end like I was just done with it. I was done Honestly, like I didn't I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be home I didn't I didn't want to be alive, you know, it's like You know, this is the same thing same thing. I keep ending up back here.

Angela Kennecke: 17:47

But this time Cameron's emergency room visit was different. While he was in the hospital, the EMILY'S HOPE post overdose response team was contacted and a peer support specialist visited Cameron, offering resources for treatment and care, along with emotional support. Here's specialist Vanessa Needles.

Vanessa Needles: 18:09

so what it means to be a peer support specialist is, you take your lived experience, all the pain, all the darkness, And you use that to, um, shed light in somebody else's life who's also going through, , the similar pain and darkness that we go through.

Angela Kennecke: 18:24

How long have you been in recovery?

Vanessa Needles: 18:25

I've been in recovery almost seven years now.

Angela Kennecke: 18:29

And why did you choose to become a peer support specialist?

Vanessa Needles: 18:32

I think being a person in long term recovery, I learned in very early recovery that the only way that I can keep what I have is by giving it to another person. So, not only is it, you know, a privilege to be able to help another person, but it's also my responsibility as someone who has made it in recovery, to give back to the people who were in the same hopeless position that I was in, you know, before I ever knew that recovery was even an option.

Angela Kennecke: 19:02

Why is the Post Overdose Response Team, Emily's Hope Post Overdose Response Team, so important?

Vanessa Needles: 19:07

Yeah, so I think, um,, Emily's Hope is providing a great, because what we are able to do is we are able to go meet the person, and as a person, , who overdosed themselves, I remember, when I overdosed, I didn't know anybody in the room. There were cops. It was scary. Like, I just wanted to get out of there. So I think, , the greatest opportunity when it comes to Emily's Hope and the PORT team is, providing an opportunity for somebody in recovery. To stand in front of someone who's going through something that is terrifying and let them know that they are not in any sort of trouble, that, you know, I've been through the same thing that you're going through right now, so I know all the feelings, I know how scared you are, but I'm here for you, I'm gonna support you, and what are our next steps, to keep you from being in this position again?

Cameron Nielson: 20:06

Vanessa came in. And, you know, right away, I was like, I know you. You know, I know you from somewhere. And she explained who she was and why she was there. And This I just needed somebody, you know, I needed, I needed help, you know, and they were there and I was gonna take whatever help I could get and so she came in and I recognized her from, we used to work together at the car wash and so we were talking about that, you know, she had me laughing and smiling and her and my mom were talking and She gave me some stuff and, you know, it was like, it's like a little breath of fresh air. Cause I was, I was doing bad.

Lisa Nielson: 21:00

Oh,'it was huge. Vanessa was there in like an hour., and First when she walked in and he knew her. And then they started reminiscing a little bit. And then she said, Well, I've been clean and sober for seven years, and I have two little girls. And telling her story, then Cameron's thinking, Well, you know what? She's coming out of it. She's been clean and sober for seven years. So, there's people that are doing it.

Cameron Nielson: 21:31

It was like somebody else, you know, cause obviously my mom loves me, my family loves me, but it's like somebody else out there is sober and doing it. Yeah. You know, she's here telling me, like, you can do it too, you know, and that's what I needed.

Lisa Nielson: 21:48

And so you sit in the hospital and you're by yourself and you think you're the only person with a child who's an addict and you don't know what to do with an addict. And so to have somebody from Emily's Hope come in and just give you their card and say, call me if you need me. you know, it, that's huge.

Vanessa Needles: 22:11

So this opportunity has kind of come full circle for me in a lot of ways because there's already been a few people that I personally know who knew me back in addiction when I was completely hopeless. You know, when it was like, this girl's going to die. And I've been able to stand in front of them with clear eyes and with everything and, and let them know, like I went through it and like, you're going to be okay. So I think that's been the coolest thing is like people that I personally know, like being able to. Advocate for them and support them in any way possible.

Angela Kennecke: 22:43

Yeah, what has the interaction been like for you with somebody who's recently overdosed, where you went to go offer them this help?

Vanessa Needles: 22:50

Yeah, absolutely. So I think the response in and of itself is initially they're like, who are you? Or like, how do you know me? Or, you know what I mean, they're very confused. And they're like, who is this person? person walking in and asking me questions. But once I let them know that I am in recovery and that that's my sole purpose, you know, it's just, how can I support you? How can I be here for you? It's a sense of relief.

Cameron Nielson: 23:17

It's just so nice knowing that, um, People are doing something and people are helping, like having Vanessa come into that room and, you know, give me some stuff and talk to me. It was like we had been friends, you know. She just came in and she was there and she was understanding. It made it so much better. It really did.

Speaker: 23:39

Have you lost a loved one to overdose or fentanyl poisoning? I'd like to invite you to share their story on our new Emily's Hope memorial website called More Than Just a Number. They were our children, siblings, cousins, husbands, wives, aunts, uncles, and friends. So much more than just a number. You can submit a memorial today on more than just a

Speaker 2: 24:03

number.org.

Angela Kennecke: 24:06

Here's Dr. Hannah Statz DeVries, a highly respected psychiatrist specializing in addiction care and a member of our EMILY'S HOPE board of directors.

Hannah Statz DeVries: 24:17

As a physician, I don't want to see them walking out of the emergency room with no help. And that's where Emily's Hope is crucial, in their ability to provide this help. To say, hey, we know that you came in this period of time when you were feeling very vulnerable, you were scared, maybe there was this overdose, or what are we going to do to help you? And then, say, someone goes, oh, I feel a little bit better, and I got this little bit of care in the ER, and I'm good now. And that's not the case. That's why this is so important for this port program, this post overdose response team to reach out to that person, to help that person, to continue to engage with that person, to connect them to care, to say, hey, how are you doing with medications? How are you doing with the support? Do we need a, you know, pull your family in , on these things? And it's that kind of care that allows people to reintegrate into society and rebuild their lives , and heal., and who doesn't want that?

Angela Kennecke: 25:09

After five days in the hospital, Cameron headed straight to treatment, with part of the cost covered by an Emily's Hope Treatment Scholarship.

Lisa Nielson: 25:18

I don't know if he could do it if he didn't have help for it. I mean, It's not cheap.

Cameron Nielson: 25:24

and I didn't know things like that existed for addicts, you know. I've always kind of had that shame about being an addict and what happens and stuff, and how I act when I am in active addiction, but knowing that there's things like that out there for people, and for somebody like me to just get into treatment, and somebody's there to help you and understands, like, can't put a price on that.

Angela Kennecke: 25:50

Since completing treatment, Cameron has stayed substance free, not just for himself, but for his family, including his three year old son.,

Cameron Nielson: 26:01

you know, I came out. Confident. And, you know, I gotta do this for me. I want it for me, but I also want it for my son. I just want to be, I want to be a role model for my son. I want him to grow up looking up to me, you know. And that keeps me going. Seeing how happy he is all the time. I mean, he's always laughing and smiling. It's great. Yeah. You know, I love him to death.

Angela Kennecke: 26:31

A parent's love. Just like Lisa has for Cameron during this past decade of his struggles with addiction.

Lisa Nielson: 26:40

more than anything, I just want him to be recovered and happy. I just want him to be happy.

Angela Kennecke: 26:50

Cameron has also been prescribed Suboxone, which is the gold standard for treatment for opioid addiction. And we truly hope that it helps him stay in recovery for as long as needed. For more information about medically assisted treatment and the Emily's Hope post overdose response team, check out the show notes in this podcast. While you're there, we'd love for you to take a moment to rate and review this episode. Please share it with your friends and family. Together, we can break the stigma surrounding substance use disorder. and get more people help. Thanks for listening. And until next time, wishing you faith, hope, and courage. This podcast is produced by Casey Wonnenberg King and Marley Miller.