Speaker 5: 0:07

A child care service that has been around for decades, sending a letter out to parents this week, announcing its closure

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as the evening anchor at K. A. R. K. T. V. Laura Monteverdi delivers the latest news headlines impacting people in Little Rock. But she's made headlines herself by sharing a deeply personal story. One that's not typical for news anchors. It was about the heartbreaking loss of her boyfriend.

Speaker 7: 0:34

Nine years later, I still get very emotional because I remember that moment and it was traumatic. That phone call, I remember falling to the ground and my boss came and picked me up and It's just, it's very difficult to talk about because it's like, you, you don't want to remember that moment, but I will never forget it. It's seared in my memory, ever.

Speaker 6: 0:58

A traumatic loss that Laura says she was embarrassed to talk about for a couple of years. Now, she's not only sharing her loved one's story, but doing it in the hopes of saving lives.

Speaker 7: 1:09

Everybody wonders why a young guy, 27 years old, passes away. And, of course, I would. Sometimes just lie and say you got in a car accident and make it easier because there's no stigma behind a car accident.

Speaker 6: 1:23

I'm Angela Kennecke, your host of Grieving Out Loud. Thanks so much for listening and learning more about this important topic. Before we begin this episode, I want to remind you that if you are or someone you love is struggling with substance use disorder, you are not alone. Help is available. Please don't wait. Your life matters. We have a list of helpful resources on our website, emilyshope. charity. You can find the link in this podcast show notes. Well, Laura, it is a pleasure to see you. Thank you so much for agreeing to come on Grieving Out Loud. You and I have a history, but this is the first time I think we've actually talked and met. We worked in the same TV market in Sioux Falls, South Dakota at competing stations. I think you worked mornings and I worked probably nights at the time. And we never crossed paths, I just saw you on TV. I know, kind of crazy. Yeah. Yeah. But you have this connection. We have this connection, both of us losing someone that we loved to this drug epidemic. And I really appreciate you using your platform to speak out about what happened. to you to your person and I want to talk about that today. Yeah,

Speaker 7: 2:44

well, I want to thank you for having me. I remember hearing about your loss and my heart just went out to you, especially knowing the job we do and having to. put on a face and a lot of our life is on cameras.

Speaker 6: 2:58

While living in Sioux Falls, Laura made a living being on camera, but her off screen life was just as exciting. It was there she met a co worker, Brock Eisnes, and fell in love.

Speaker 7: 3:10

He was a photographer. And I was the morning anchor. So our schedules are very different and our path had not crossed. So when they did, it was like this spark. I say, I remember writing about him in my diary because it was just this moment of like, I, I'm going to know this person. And I didn't really understand at the time, but there was such a connection. And we talked about it later and he felt it too. And. I treasure that because you don't always get that with people. And I had that with him and we had a wonderful relationship together. And then I got a job offer in little rock and I'm like, what am I going to do? You know, I got to follow my dream. And he ended up driving me to little rock and our relationship actually blossomed from there because. When you're long distance, it can go either way, and we really, really focused on our relationship and being together and present, whether that means on FaceTime or, you know, on the

Speaker 6: 4:05

phone. Laura loved Brock's charismatic personality and adventurous spirit. He had big dreams of making it in the entertainment and film production world and started to back them up with several major accomplishments. He graduated summa cum laude from Western Michigan University with a degree in film, video, and media studies, served as president of the Western Filmmakers Association, and even started his own production company.

Speaker 7: 4:34

He loved photography. He loved Video filming. I mean, he was working in Sioux Falls, but he was also doing gigs on the side, weddings, and he had a passion to work in movies. That was his dream, was to see his name in the credits. And when he moved, you know, for the summer to Little Rock with me, he actually got a job working on a movie. So, the movie came out after he passed away. It's called God's Not Dead 2. And I got to be there in the theater and see his name in the credits. And the movie is dedicated to him. I was so heartbroken he was not able to be there, but to be there with his family in the last place that we were together was just the most amazing thing.

Speaker 6: 5:19

While Laura and Brock met in Sioux Falls, neither was originally from the area. Laura was from Florida, and Brock, Alaska.

Speaker 7: 5:30

And I'm so grateful because I actually got to visit him there about three weeks before he passed away. So I remember I had no money and working to do, you know, yawing at night. Booked a flight on my credit card and something just told me go, you know, and I'm so glad that I did It was

Speaker 6: 5:47

such an amazing trip. Yeah, unlike what most people think news does not pay that well, especially in the smaller markets

Speaker 5: 5:53

Yeah, that was all the credit card

Speaker 6: 5:55

Laura had been in one serious relationship before meeting Brock But she describes him as her first true love

Speaker 7: 6:03

the moment we met was just I mean it was this connection and I know people talk about their first love. I'm 26 years old at the time, 25 years old and, but there was just something there and I, I wrote in my diary. I said, I'm going to marry this man. And I have never written that before. And what's beautiful is that after he passed away, you know, he had always joked, you know, if I, if I died before I get to marry you, you better tell people that we were engaged. So people always think that he was my fiance. And sometimes I just let them say it because I think it's him up there, you know, messing with me. I just, it's just special to me.

Speaker 6: 6:41

Although Laura and Brock were very close, she had no idea that he may be using substances. However, he had just opened up to her about some of his past struggles.

Speaker 7: 6:54

I knew that he had gotten in trouble before, I think it was like eight years prior. And when he shared that with me, you know, keep in mind, I'm like 25 years old at a time. I know nothing. I, I was like a goody two shoes grown up. So, you know, I was never in trouble for anything. Um, and so the most I knew about was marijuana. Like, I didn't know, I didn't even know what heroin was. You know, I feel weird admitting that back then. Like, I didn't know, but I really, really didn't know. So I knew he had a problem with pills. I knew he'd been in trouble legally. That was it. And I remember asking, but are you okay now? And he's like, Oh yeah, I'm okay now. So in my mind, I'm thinking, well, you used to use. Now you're good, so you're fine. Now I

Speaker 6: 7:41

understand that

Speaker 7: 7:42

it's

Speaker 6: 7:42

an

Speaker 7: 7:42

everyday battle.

Speaker 6: 7:45

Yes, and if you hadn't been exposed to anybody suffering from substance use disorder in your life before that, how would you know? How would you know that relapse is so common? How would you know the constant struggle that you just think, Oh, the problem's taken care of, like, You had, I don't know, a cancerous legion removed from your body or something, and the problem's taken care of, which makes addiction, substance use disorder, a really tricky thing. And how would you know?

Speaker 7: 8:11

Yeah, I mean, hide it from the people that you love. I mean, he would never want me to know that he, you know, he had He had failed in his eyes or he'd messed up. And, you know, I think for the majority of our relationship, when I look back, I do not think he was using, I think that his friend had passed away and he went to Alaska and Alaska was the place that he You know, he had started his addiction had started. So going back there, I remember being a little concerned because it wasn't the best place for him and I wasn't going to be there with him. Had I known the extent of his addiction and I learned a lot after he died, I would have never let him go. I used to live with that grief and that guilt, but you know, I've learned that that's not my fault.

Speaker 6: 8:54

No, no. I think our brain wants to make us more powerful than we really are. And this was not something you could control. In September, 2015, Laura received a phone call that rocked her world. She found out that her boyfriend. who she planned to marry someday and even start a family with, had died at just 27 years old from a heroin overdose.

Speaker 7: 9:20

I got the call from his mom about 10 minutes before I went on air, and I was working as a reporter at the time, so, you know those 10 minutes you've got to be on the desk, and she had called and she left a voicemail, and the voicemail just didn't sound right. It didn't sound like her. And I called her back instantly and she shared with me that he had overdosed and at the time, I didn't know really what that meant. I was like, okay, well, what hospital is he in? Where is he? Because at the time he was in Alaska visiting his friend and I said, Oh, I'll get on a plane, even though I just left Alaska three weeks ago, I was like, I'll be there. I mean, there was nothing in my mind that was going to stop me until she told me, no, he's not alive anymore. And. You know, nine years later, I still get very emotional because I remember that moment and It was traumatic. That phone call, I remember falling to the ground and my boss came and picked me up and it's just, it's very difficult to talk about because it's like, you, you don't want to remember that moment, but I will never forget it. It's seared in my memory forever. You didn't have to go on air after that, did you? No, you know, I.

Speaker 8: 10:36

Oh, okay.

Speaker 7: 10:37

I don't know how you would have. The grief brain, you know, I remember going home and the first thing I wanted to do was shower. Like why is that the first thing I want to do? I just wanted to get in the shower and I wanted to come out and everything be okay And I remember coming out and keep in mind I moved there like six months prior So I had made some friends, but I didn't have any family or anything here So I got out of the shower and my friends had set up their sleeping bags in my living room my co workers And they were gonna stay the night with me till I could go home and sleep That moment is just so special to me because I remember going to bed in my bedroom and knowing they were there in the living room just gave me so much comfort, you know,

Speaker 6: 11:18

that truly is amazing. Yeah, because you had moved to a strange city. You're a young person alone. No family just made some new friends. I'm taking your work. People supported you. That's amazing.

Speaker 7: 11:29

And, you know, they had met Brock, which is so wonderful because, you know, he had lived here that summer. So they had gotten to know him and you. In a way, I was just so grateful for them because they knew the Brock that I knew and loved. The fun, outgoing, huge smile across the space, you know, none of us knew what was going on behind the scenes.

Speaker 6: 11:51

Yeah, let's let's talk about that because I think the same thing for me that the incredible shock that this is not what's supposed to happen. Now, on the other hand, with my daughter, we knew something was wrong. I would never have imagined she was using heroin and it was heroin laced with fentanyl that killed her. I would never have imagined that. I would just, not in a million years. So we were planning this intervention that we did not get to hold, but trying to grasp that she had died and she had used heroin laced with fentanyl and I had known about marijuana and Xanax. What did you learn after he died?

Speaker 7: 12:27

You know, after he passed away, I had learned that the addiction was a lot more serious than, I thought he was just taking pills from time to time, but his addiction started when he was, I think, 15 years old. He'd hurt his leg playing football, and it was a coach that had given him Oxy. And that had started this spiral. And you know, at the time, maybe the coach was just like, you know, take this, you'll feel better so you can play. I don't think his intent was to get rocked a git git. But addiction runs in Brock's family. I mean, his brother passed away of a heroin overdose eight years prior. Wow. His parents lost two children? Yes, yes. And when I first started sharing about Brock, I didn't share that part. Because there's such a stigma with addiction, as you know, and I didn't want them, anyone to think that his family was this, this horrible family, you know, that didn't care about their kids and their anything, but I love them. They're a huge part of my life, and I didn't share that in the beginning, and now I do to show how calm it is, you know, and these parents, this family lost two loved ones. You know, when you said about Emily losing, you know, to heroin, I never thought Brock would use heroin because. His brother died of the same thing. So when, when he passed away, I assumed it was pills and it wasn't until I got to Alaska for the funeral that his dad shared with me that it was heroin. And I remember going to the bathroom and getting sick because I just could not imagine. And how did this happen under my watch? You know, like, when was he leaving?

Speaker 6: 14:05

That's how you feel as a parent, you know, that you somehow should have had the And I'm sure you did feel that way, that you somehow had the power to control what another adult does, and you know, you just don't.

Speaker 7: 14:16

I remember, like, looking in the rear view mirror, and I remember in July, and he was sick with the flu. I went out and I bought Gatorade and saltines and all these things. Who gets the flu in July? You know what I mean? Like, I look back now, and there's so many signs that I did miss. And again, I used to beat myself up over them. You so much, but I've gotten better, you know?

Speaker 6: 14:41

Yeah. Well, that's good because a couple of things come to mind. First of all, I've talked to so many people whose kids were given oxy or something, you know, hydrocodone, something related as a teenager for an injury. And it does set up the developing brain for addiction. Plus if he had the genetics and I've talked to more parents than I ever could imagine, who've lost, Two or more children to overdose or fentanyl poisoning. So it's really not that uncommon in families, especially because we know this is a disease of the brain and it has a genetic component to it. But when you're coming in from the outside like that, like the perspective you were coming in where you hadn't really ever dealt, and I hadn't either before, you know, I met my first husband ever dealt with substance use disorder except I knew I had a grandfather who was an alcoholic and started AA, but it didn't really affect me personally, right? I had affected my mother and my mother's family, but not, not me. So it's such a learning curve for those of us that are, I guess, blessed not to suffer from this disease, right?

Speaker 7: 15:45

And I always say that to people who don't understand, I'm like, consider yourself blessed, you know, that you don't have to know this, but prepare yourself because you will know someone who's going through it. You will. Yeah. You

Speaker 6: 15:56

will. And then you had just like so many people, it's very difficult for them to understand when you're in the public eye, how difficult it is to share personal parts of your life. First of all, we're not supposed to. As reporters, we're supposed to be objective. We're not supposed to make the story about us. And I certainly never wanted the story to be about me. The only reason why I went public with Emily's story was because I thought if I could stop other parents and other people like you from feeling this pain of loss of losing someone they love. And I'm sure you probably had similar motivations, but keeping quiet for what, two or three years afterwards, two

Speaker 7: 16:34

years, was that hard? Yeah, it was really hard. I don't think it allowed me to fully grieve because I was at times lying about how he died, you know, because everybody wonders why a young guy is seven years old passes away and of course I would sometimes just lie and say he got in a car accident and make it easier because there's no stigma behind a car accident, you know, and it just didn't feel true to me. And I was interviewing people who had gone through tremendous loss. I interweave this woman and she lost two daughters and her husband in a tornado. And she was willing to sit down with me and share with me her pain and her grief and the hope that has come from the support she got. And I just felt cowardly in a way that I was sitting across from this woman asking her, sticking a camera in her face, asking her questions that are just so deep and difficult to talk about, and I can't do the same. And I remember it being that interview that really stayed with me and said, something in me said, you got to do this. Like I call it a God whisper, like God tapping on my shoulder. You got to do this because there are so many people that can heal through your story. And I also wanted people to know that. People like Brock, who die this way, are not bad people. They're not. They're the best. And I wanted people to know what happened to him, because I wanted people to understand that part of it.

Speaker 8: 18:13

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Speaker 6: 18:44

And I felt that obligation too, because I always say I've asked so many people to talk to me over the years who've been through the worst time of their life and suffered incredible loss and then for me not to talk about it, if it just helped. Everyone said to me, the reason I'm talking to you is because if it just helps one person, then you know, and I thought, gosh, you know, I need to do that too. I mean, like I said, it took me about three months. And then I knew when I went back on the air, I had to use, and you're doing the same using a very important platform, which helped me build the platform for the charity. I know eventually I left TV news a couple of years ago to work on this full time, which I never could have imagined my life going in this direction.

Speaker 7: 19:23

I'm so glad you're doing this. Like it's, it's really, really empowering. It really is.

Speaker 6: 19:29

And if it were not for the platform I had, I don't know if it would have evolved the way it has

Speaker 9: 19:33

into this. People are saying we're losing a generation. And at some point, if this doesn't stop, we will lose a significant part of a generation of people.

Speaker 10: 19:59

New face of addiction. It's often not what you picture. It's growing, changing and devastating families. We can and must do something to end the crisis of addiction. Tonight, we take you on a journey to show you the fun. The impact and the recovery we are working to save a generation.

Speaker 6: 20:25

This is the beginning of a powerful news segment on THV 11 in Little Rock, Arkansas. A project Laura poured her heart and soul into. The special not only offers viewer an in depth look at the drug crisis in Arkansas. It was also the first time Laura shared her very personal story publicly.

Speaker 7: 20:46

I spent six months working on this special and I said, I don't want this to be about me, right? I want to learn along the way because if I'm going to educate my viewers, I need to educate myself first. And so I spent six months working on this project called Saving a Generation. And I spoke to parents who lost loved ones, who lost their children. And I spoke to. A young woman who at the time she didn't want her face shown and she's very open about it now, which I'm glad, but I wanted to respect that and I called it the face of addiction because I wanted people to understand what addiction look like and. There were some parts of the project I couldn't actually be a part of, like photographer Wynnum calls to overdoses. I wasn't ready, you know? And I remember the night it aired, we all gathered in the newsroom and we watched it. And it was six months of really hard work and tears that went into this. And I will never forget the moment that stopped airing. My phone blew up, my emails blew up, the newsroom phone was going off. You know, my Facebook messages were filled up. I was overwhelmed in the best way. I mean, the response was huge. And to be honest, it's not stopped. That was 2018 and it's still maybe not to that level, but you know, I still have people reach out to me all the time. My work has taken a little bit of a scale back and not in a bad way. It's because my whole station has gotten on board. We're all sharing stories and doing stuff. And it's so great to see other, you know, stations around the country, news outlets doing this and celebrities sharing their story. It wasn't like that. back then. It really wasn't. No, you're right. And I think that's what made me feel so alone. And now I sit back and I'm like, not that my work's done, but I could sit back and I could take a breath. And I could just be Laura for a moment and watch all this happening and it's heartbreaking that so many people have gone through this, but it's also beautiful to see how this is taken off and people are talking about it and educating people about it.

Speaker 6: 22:49

I also put together a special after I came back to work about the crisis and the most bizarre thing that happened to me, I had done right before Emily died, I had done a few, Stories on the opioid crisis, heroin and fentanyl and all that, not thinking that my daughter was using that thinking. I knew I had a kid with a problem, but not that right, right. And I had interviewed a mother the day that my daughter died, whose daughter had died of a heroin overdose. And I was doing a story on good Samaritan laws. Yeah, I was putting that story together. So it wasn't ready or on the air yet. That's the day I found out that she died. And so, of course, I had to come back to it three months later and put that story together. And to realize what a different person I was, you know, after her death and on that day, it was just almost eerie to come back and to realize that I was working on that story on the day she died, not knowing that this was going to happen to me and then to put that whole thing together, but I was really proud. And I had some wonderful co workers who were so supportive, who poured their hearts into helping me put that special together. It was great. And I was really proud of that work, as I'm sure you were proud of the work that you did, too. Yeah. But I knew the stigma was still out there, and this was 2018. And I knew the stigma was still out there because we had gotten permission to show pictures of people who had died of overdose or fentanyl poisoning. And then we got permission either from next of kin, which would be, you know, a parent or a spouse. Well, then we had other family members calling after the special air to say, take that picture down. That's an embarrassment. Or their children are getting teased or so, you know, the stigma was still there. It

Speaker 7: 24:25

is still there. I mean, you know, I wish I could say it wasn't years later, but it is still there. I think it's changing. Right. I know people look at me and they probably do the same, like feel so sad for you, but my child would never do that, you know, and we say in the South now that I live in the South, we say, bless your heart. You know, a pleasure. I don't like that at all. Yeah, I know what that means. Yeah, yeah, that's what they say down here. And it's true because it's like you cannot be naive and think that this cannot happen to you. You know, Emily's not a bad girl, perhaps not a bad guy. No, not anything to do with that. You know, they were wonderful.

Speaker 6: 25:06

Yeah, usually they're the most sensitive, creative. Yeah, you know, big hearted people out there that actually I think the world is really harsh. For many people like that, and they find some relief in self medicating, that type thing with drugs. After the TV special aired, Laura opened up about her story. The response was overwhelming. She was flooded with requests for speaking engagements and interviews. For the next six months, she dedicated herself to her work. to sharing her journey and raising awareness about the opioid epidemic.

Speaker 7: 25:41

Then I crashed, like I crashed hard because I needed to grieve again. You know, I had just opened up about this story and now everybody knew, and it was like, I was ripping off the band aid all over again. And so I took a little bit of a break. You know, you can't take a break from news, but I did a lot of lighter stories. I only did, speaking engagements that were, you know, a little bit lighter for nonprofits, things like that. And I just needed a break and I was glad that I did that. But then God came in again, you know, and I never expected that in the way that he did. And I was sitting at a stoplight. I was nannying at the time, in addition to mourning, um, and I dropped the kids off at the recreation center. And I remember it was three o'clock in the afternoon on an October day, and I was sitting at a stoplight and the car couple in front of me was not moving. And You know, people started honking, and I thought maybe they were distracted, so I got out of the car to check. I'm one of those people that runs to, you know, emergencies, or if I see someone in need, I just, I don't think, you know? And someone else had gotten out of the car in front of me and walked up, and they opened the car door, and this woman fell out of the car. And I looked at her and I immediately knew what was going on. Her face was blue. I mean, all this was happening in a few seconds, but I grabbed my phone and I called 9 1 1 and I looked in her car and I could see a needle and a spoon in the seat. And I just called 9 1 1 and I kept shouting that we need Narcan, we need Narcan. This is 2018 at the time and people were looking at me like I was crazy. I was stopping cars like, we need our can. And people didn't know what that was. And I remember the cops got there and they didn't even have it at the time. So they had, they had moved us all to the side, all the cars and the ambulance had gotten there. At that point, I didn't know what had happened to her. I just remember that we were all pushed to the side and as a reporter, I'm like, well, I'm going to get the police report. I have to know who this person is, you know? And before I got the police report, I made a Facebook post about what happened. The Facebook post blew up, you know, I just shared about this girl with these big blue eyes because that's the one thing I remembered about her the most is her eyes are wide open and it broke my heart that I had to see her like that because I didn't see Brock when he overdosed and I'm grateful that I did it. But I saw her and so I know what he looked like and that was very traumatic and she saw the post she let I knew that she had lived because of the police report. She found that post and she reached out to me and she opened up about her story. Like, you know, how she had used that day, she'd used the apartment down the street, and she'd overdosed at the stoplight, and it wasn't the first time she'd overdosed. I ended up meeting with her, like, I had lunch with her, and I brought a friend that works in the recovery world, and tried to get her help, and she didn't want my help, but she said she would stay in touch with me, and like, once you're my friend, you're my friend, you know, I'm gonna call you within the crown, you can't get rid of me. It took about three months, and I drove her to the rehab facility when she was ready to go. I dropped her off and I prayed with her in the parking lot. I'm always, I'm like an awkward prayer. I don't, I've never really prayed for someone, but I just prayed with her and sent her in. I remember I went to Walmart and I bought like 200 worth of stuff for her. And I just felt like, She's my responsibility. Like, I could not say Brock, so I'm going to say this girl. And I wish this story had a happy ending. I really do, because, um, and her name is Amanda, and I told her, I'm going to share your story with

Speaker 6: 29:32

people. Laura is now sharing Amanda's story, but not in the way she had hoped. After Amanda entered rehab, she stayed away from drugs for a few months, but then, like so many others who suffer from substance use disorder, she relapsed. And it ended up being deadly.

Speaker 7: 29:51

She put me through a lot. You know, I, I felt so much love for this woman and, um, I wanted so much for her. And, you know, I thought addiction was just too strong for her. She's a young mom and I hate that her daughter is going to grow up without her mom. You know, I questioned why she was brought into my life if she was just going to be taken away and, you know, I don't know. I mean, I hope that I made an impact on her life and she means a lot to me. She always will and I will always say her name and share her story.

Speaker 6: 30:22

Have you lost a loved one to overdose or fentanyl poisoning? I'd like to invite you to share their story on our new Emily's Hope Memorial website called More Than Just a Number. They were our children, siblings, cousins, husbands, wives, aunts, uncles. So much more than just a number. You can submit a memorial today on MoreThanJustANumber. org. Well, she knew that she mattered. She knew that someone cared. Because so often people suffering from press substance use disorder You know, they stigmatize themselves. They feel the stigma from others. But you gave her that. So that was a gift. And I don't know if she got medically assisted treatment or not. I know it's a common practice now. I don't know if that's what she got. But if she didn't get that, her chances of survival for opioid use disorder are very slim, even with going into treatment. So, You can't save someone, right? I mean, I think that's maybe what this was trying to teach you is that you couldn't have saved Brock. You couldn't save her. None of us can save someone, right? It's just not possible. They have to do it for themselves and get the right treatment. Yeah,

Speaker 7: 31:35

and I think that taught me that is no matter what I would have done with Brock. I could not have fixed that. I can't fix his addiction, you know, but I was grateful that I got a chance to be there for her when surely no one else was. He said, you know, everybody goes away and she had no one left.

Speaker 6: 31:52

Yeah, when you gave her a few good months, you know, and I use that story because I think I read the Facebook post somewhere along the line in these last few years. And I use that story about when I hand out free Narcan, free naloxone kits to people. They say I don't need this and I say, well, you never know when you could come across someone who's overdosing. It could be in traffic. I know has happened. And so I use that could be in traffic because you just don't know.

Speaker 7: 32:19

I carry it. I handed out now and you know, I hate that I did not have it that day. You would think that I'd carry it after brought, but I didn't, you know, it really wasn't as widely available then. And now, now it really is. I mean, It's in libraries. It's on college campuses. It's in my purse, in my drawer at work. I hand them out like candy, you know? Yeah, you never know and I always share that story because that happened on a sunny October afternoon at three o'clock, you know. Was I thinking I was gonna run across someone overdosing? Absolutely not, but You will never find me without it. Now,

Speaker 6: 32:59

Laura will always carry the grief of losing her serious boyfriend. However, she was able to find true love again, and I'm happy to report that she is now married.

Speaker 7: 33:14

I dated people before, and some people can't handle that. And that's okay. You know, it's gotta be weird. Like people agree, if we have weird sense of humor, but I'm like, yeah, I still love my dead boyfriend, but you know, I can love you too, you know? And so. I think it's beautiful and I get emotional. I'm just a very emotional person, but I get emotional about my husband, Madison, because he has embraced that part of me and Brock's mom has since passed away. She passed away last year, but he met his mom and his mom loved Madison, my husband, you know, what a beautiful thing. And when we got married in April, I Brock's sister and his uncle and nephew were there. It was just such a beautiful thing that my past and my present can come together and my future too. You know, this is my husband and people think it's so weird, right? You know, like every year I hike this mountain here in honor of Brock and I go watch the sunrise on the day he passed away. My husband comes with me and he lets me sit up there and have my moment. And I cry, I listen to sad songs and then I turn and I go to my husband, he gives me a hug and that's just so beautiful. And I'm so grateful that I get to have that. I love that for you. You're about to have me in tears here. I love that for you. I never thought that when I'm 25 years old and I lose the man that I'm going to marry, I never would think nine years later that this is where I would be, you know?

Speaker 6: 34:39

Right. And Brock would want, I do believe that our loved ones want the best for us, and so to have someone in your life who's Who's so good and confident enough on himself and who he is in your relationship to embrace all of it, right? Not feeling threatened by, you know, a dead person. Yeah, I love that you had I mean, but people do you know My husband lost his first wife. She died. And so yeah, he's still close with her family and it's fine You know, I just I feel bad that he had to experience all that but I'm grateful Second chance is in love and I think that is probably one difference You as a parent losing someone as opposed to someone losing a spouse or a significant other is that you do maybe have another chance at that kind of relationship again. But when you lose a child, that's that one and only child, you know, even if you have other kids, nothing can, I don't know. It's just different.

Speaker 7: 35:30

Yeah, it is. It's something I've learned about grief. You know, I angry when people were. compared grief, you know, and like, yeah, no, you shouldn't compare grief. And there's so many different kinds of grief. I mean, there's grief after losing a job. There's grief after a marriage falling apart. They're all so different and everybody feels. differently. And so, you know, like you say, grieving out loud. I love the name of the podcast because that's the only way to do it. I mean, you could be quiet and keep it to yourself. But I say the thing that people said to me when I was interviewing them, if this can help one person, that's what it's for, you know.

Speaker 6: 36:09

Well, thank you so much for sharing your story with us and congratulations on your marriage and your second chance at love here. Or maybe it's your third chance, but whatever. It's like the best that you're with somebody who loves you and who you love back and you can have that joy and happiness that you probably thought you wouldn't be able to have. So

Speaker 7: 36:30

no, not the time. No, you're in such a cloud of grief. You don't see anything, but what's right in front of you, you know? So if Look at that girl nine years ago and just give her a hug and let her know that it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be different than you imagine it, but it's gonna be

Speaker 6: 36:45

okay. I wish I could. And keep doing the work on the drug crisis and substance use disorder, because even though we've seen now in Sioux Falls actually overdose deaths were up 42 percent year over year as of this fall, while they're down about 15 percent nationwide right now, the latest statistics, and that's great. I think that is because of naloxone distribution. but still there are still people dying from this every day in way too many people. And I'm sorry, a hundred thousand isn't acceptable. When Emily died, I think it was 70 some thousand. That's not acceptable either a year. So we just need to keep till it's zero. That's the goal. And I

Speaker 7: 37:23

think in addition to the naloxone, I think doing what we're doing and talking about it has a huge effect to you because it makes people not feel alone. You know, you don't have to feel like you're the only one going through this, that you're on the island and nobody's with you. We're with you. We, we've been there.

Speaker 6: 37:41

Yeah. Yeah. We're rowing the boat. All right. Well, thank you so much, Laura. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. And thank you for listening to this episode of Grieving Out Loud. To hear more episodes, read my blog, and find the latest news headlines surrounding substance use disorder and the opioid epidemic, head over to our Emily's Hope website. We've posted a link in the show notes of this episode. While you're there, we'd YouTube channel. If you take a moment to rate and review this episode, and share it with friends and family, it helps further our mission to raise awareness about the nation's drug epidemic, while decreasing the stigma surrounding substance use disorder, and hopefully, getting more people the help they so desperately need. Together, we can make a difference. Thank you again, and until next time, Wishing you faith, hope, and courage. This podcast is produced by Casey Wannenberg King and Marlee Miller.