[00:00:00] Newscast: Covering Santa Clara, San Francisco, East Bay, and all the Bay Area, this is ABC 7 News. The ABC 7 News I Team has shocking new details about the sex and drug scandal involving one of the state's top political couples. 

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[00:00:15] Angela Kennecke: People are captivated by juicy headlines featuring public figures and their involvement with sex and drugs. It's like a magnet for our curiosity. However, we rarely stop to think about the real struggles the people are facing behind those titillating headlines. There is an entire untold story, and we barely take a moment to consider what's really going on in the lives of the subjects.

[00:00:47] Nadia Davis: It brought me to suicidality, yet it was the press' coverage that did, that made it extremely difficult to rebuild my life because I I placed importance on what was said,

[00:01:02] Angela Kennecke: A lot has been said about Nadia Davis, the high profile lawyer and public figure made national headlines when she found herself entangled in a scandal, becoming the target of blackmail due to a sex tape that involved her while she was married to the California State Treasurer. 

[00:01:21] Nadia Davis: Understanding. the power of shaming the. the importance of compassion. When we do talk about other people's struggles mm-hmm. the importance of looking behind somebody's behavior and posing the question, wow, I wonder what's going on? 

And using it as a a platform to talk about mental health awareness, to talk about trauma, to talk about the epidemic of addiction

[00:01:55] Angela Kennecke:  In this emotionally powerful episode of Grieving Out Loud, Nadia opens up about her personal journey. Delving into deeply painful and challenging experiences that have shaped her life from enduring public shaming to facing substance use disorder, racial bullying and childhood sexual molestation, plus losing the people she holds. Dearest 

nadia's resilience and strength shine through as she shares her remarkable story of triumph over adversity. 

[00:02:26] Nadia Davis: A a huge first step is to realize that we are not our thoughts. start conversing with them asking if, it's a message from your soul or it's your mind and survival mode, and slowly, slowly, you can build a home within you.

[00:02:43] Angela Kennecke: Tune in to hear how Nadia has found the courage to confront her past and emerge even stronger. Proving that resilience and hope can lead us through even the darkest of times. (MUSIC UP!) 

Nadia Davis, welcome to Grieving Out Loud. I am so that you're joining me and I can't wait to dive into your story. It's such an interesting one, and also I think you have so much that so many people can learn from. So thank you for being here.

[00:03:14] Nadia Davis: Thank you for this platform. Thank you so much for having me.

[00:03:18] Angela Kennecke: I wanna start off talking about a little bit bit about your background. You were raised in California. And have a very diverse background.

[00:03:28] Nadia Davis: indeed. I am a representative of Southern California. My father is Hispanic native american, my mom is an immigrant from Germany. still a German citizen. And they met when she was visiting her sister who had married a gi. The rest is history. They had seven kids in nine years. I'm the youngest of them, right. And they sponsored Vietnamese refugees. So my holidays were apple strudel. Egg rolls and tamales.

[00:04:06] Angela Kennecke: Not many people can say that

[00:04:09] Nadia Davis: yeah. it was a beautiful way to grow up. and I didn't know that it was different until it was pointed out to me and. where I went to elementary school at the end of father's successful journey where we were in, you know, orange, in the Villa Park area. It was nice, from, you know, an apartment in Santa Ana, fountain Valley area. So it's a little shocking to know that, you know, as a. Six year old I was racially bullied and it didn't like occur to me until on as a mom and little things started happening kind of with my kids. not racially, but it's so common to have subtle bullying and school. And so when I look back and when I wrote the book, I realized that. combined with sexual molestation by a doctor really imprinted in me, way of understanding life.

[00:05:13] Angela Kennecke: I wanna ask you about being sexually molested by someone in a position of trust. 

as an investigative journalist, I did stories about a doctor on a reservation who was molesting boys, and had been allowed to continue for years, and it just horrifies me. I think about that person has put in such a position of trust.

[00:05:35] Nadia Davis: I explain it. in detail, not the facts, because remember a lot of detail, it's almost as though I'm telling a story for my child. I'm telling it for the child in me, and I had to do some intensive trauma therapy later in life and. understand why the memory of these four walls always entered my mind as a child. I didn't understand it. I have recollection of how many times it happened.

About it it as well as the intensive trauma therapy me to. Put into words the picture that kept entering my and create a different ending. is the event that happened that really, honestly I understood life.

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[00:06:33] Angela Kennecke: Despite childhood trauma, Nadia was absolutely determined to make a difference in the world. She decided to become a lawyer and focus on advocating for youth justice, and in 1998 she was elected to the Santa Ana Unified School District Board of Trustees, making her the youngest Latina and Native American to hold such a position at the local level.

[00:06:59] Nadia Davis: (MUSIC UP!) it was me versus world, and way that I saw world was go save it,

[00:07:08] Angela Kennecke: interesting. 

[00:07:09] Nadia Davis: my parents were very, they each overcame much. I didn't know all those details, but I saw what they were doing in front of me my father. An orphan field worker overcame multiple challenges, worked throughout grade school and became one of the of the first Spanish speaking attorneys. and Latino attorneys the state as well as the nation. 

One of the first to graduate from UCLA school. He had a Latin jazz band and was pivotal in a lot of the local, activist events. But he was a unifier. He had a really warm him. And whenever he was questioned he would just say, I am who I am. And, it created this aura in him. and my mom, I mean, she was like catholic of the Year and, and, they sponsored, like I said, a lot of Vietnamese refugees. And so I saw that. As light, love, hope, as what I was yearning for to feel inside me. 

And an early age on, i. did all kinds of things. You know, food camp drives amnesty, international petitions and in high school, for student government. And I believe it was instilled in me for my parents. My siblings are all kind good people, but they didn't have like that activist in them or that desire to save others. And so I'm not quite sure where that came from than the two sources of trauma, ironically.

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[00:08:45] Angela Kennecke: Tragically Nadia's struggles were far from over Just just as she began her second year of law school, she was faced with a sudden and heartbreaking loss of her hero, her father, who unexpectedly died from a heart attack. 

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[00:09:02] Nadia Davis: and he represented everything good in the world and the childhood trauma and some other things that were happening in the family during high school. And so when he passed, it was deeply, deeply tragic and difficult because there was no warning. 

And the survival mode came in with helping my mom, who wasn't eating or, functioning all. And so I moved home and helped her. her and and became face of the Wally Davis' daughter. There were multiple scholarships and memorials a school named after him. And again, it was in this outside mode of this is my worth, this is why there's purpose life and the world 

[00:09:49] Angela Kennecke: (MUSIC UP!) His death also strengthened Nadia's desire to make a difference. One of Davis's most remarkable contributions was helping a 16 year old named Arthur Carmona, who had been wrongfully convicted.

Carmona spent more than two years in prison based on eyewitness testimony for two armed robberies. After nearly three years of legal filings and lobbying, he was eventually set free.

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[00:10:17] Nadia Davis: Ronnie Carmona made a plea at a community event for her son. a brand new and when you hear wrongfully convicted or innocent I didn't question it, but I didn't necessarily believe it. And I called my father's former law partner kind of like an uncle to me, and asked him about it it and he said, yeah, all heard about this. This kid was royal eroded. And so me initially and we did the initial filing. We lost, kind of because it's limited, a motion for new trial is limited on what was brought into court. The problem was what was not brought into court. 

then following that, that, I was able to get an investigator. and a top law firm to come in and on a habeas. And I was kind of the gopher behind the scenes and doing the fundraising and the, all the lobbying efforts and getting documentation them and everything. And he was freed. 

[00:11:24] Angela Kennecke: Hmm,

that's quite an accomplishment.

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[00:11:27] Angela Kennecke: But as she pursued that accomplishment, Nadia was confronted with yet another traumatic experience, a near death car crash.

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[00:11:39] Nadia Davis: And was not breathing when they found me. I had 22 broken punctured lung, my brain bled, and I had an experience that is the source of now. After of recovery of this middle ground, I call a home within me.

where I can connect to the infinite as best I can in a physical body, and then observe my mind from a space of neutrality. And after the car accident on life support the process of waking up from near death. ivd to morphine and all the body pain and everything, was high drive, the survivalist mind. And it was your just a body. Your thoughts are your real true self everything that I saw around me when I woke up defined my worth. And it was beautiful. I think if I hadn't had, you know, the, there was posters around me, I was president of Santa Ana School Board and leading a lot of local causes, including the case and you know, there was Lancinthiana Davis, you know, we Need you and better. 

And a Beanie Baby Bee named Hope that Arthur had sent me from jail. And so, my thought was, you know, I gotta get better. I have to walk again because this kid is, still behind bars. I'm at least still free whether I could walk again or not at that point. 

[00:13:27] Angela Kennecke: It sounds incredibly painful what you went through physically.

[00:13:32] Nadia Davis: and it is, it constant management

[00:13:36] Angela Kennecke: you prescribed opioids at that time then?

[00:13:39] Nadia Davis: was prescribed opioids. felt I returned home that made me really groggy. And interestingly, I never got addicted to opioids. I never did. I stopped them, I would say a month or so after I returned home in a wheelchair. 

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[00:14:01] Angela Kennecke: While Nadia did not grapple with opioid addiction, she did face her own battle with substance use disorder beginning in her late twenties.

 (MUSIC UP!) 

[00:14:17] Nadia Davis: I had energy drinks and I started managing a alcoholically for the pain and the, and flashbacks from childhood and the grieving that I really never did. This is such a, an important part of the book because I explain how ingrained in this survivalist mind and mode it was have your energy drink. Put your heels and your suit on, go give the inspirational speech and have a drink to calm the nerves ironically, and everything will be okay.

I do know now that alcoholic drinking began during that time in my life, in my late twenties to manage what I did not know. was my mind separating me from my truth allowing, grieving, not allowing the trauma processing it really was go fight, fight the bad in the world. 

remember clearly time when my best friend, priscilla and I would sit on my kitchen floor. and drink a bottle of wine. I just remember always sharing a bottle of wine with her and that's how I was able to cry. And she abruptly passed

[00:15:36] Angela Kennecke: You're a friend, Priscilla.

[00:15:38] Nadia Davis: she found out that she had uterine cancer and I was by her side in the hospital when she took her last breath

[00:15:45] Angela Kennecke: Oh.

[00:15:45] Nadia Davis: and so, It was another kind of marking of my survivalist mind's. Ways of react to the fears, react to your self judgments and be presentation of perfection. Your purpose, you know, is really in saving others.

[00:16:05] Angela Kennecke: and social media does a lot to perpetrate the. presentation of perfection, right? I mean, I think there's a lot of people in the world walking around not dealing with their emotions or their trauma and turning, I mean, substances are an easy thing to turn to. And then presenting life as being great and showing themselves as successful to the outside world, which you certainly were.

[00:16:29] Nadia Davis: The interesting thing is, as you were saying that I realized I didn't have shame necessarily. I mean, I had shame. such a undefinable feeling. was a reason that I. didn't reach out for help, and that certainly probably was didn't have the words and know how to express it, so it was finding purpose in helping others versus seeing the purpose in helping myself. 

And so, I wanna point out like that's a really subtle way that our own shame

[00:17:08] Angela Kennecke: But I think we're all taught that we should find our purpose in life, and that very well may be helping others. I mean, in some ways I feel like my purpose is helping others with the charity that we do. Right.

[00:17:20] Nadia Davis: Absolutely. Absolutely. And, story, your loss so profound. and say, I'm sorry, huh. and add it to the whole lot is I do that right now. I'm so sorry for your loss. 

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[00:17:38] Angela Kennecke: If you're not familiar with my story in 2018, I lost my 21 year old daughter, Emily to Fentanyl poisoning. Since that devastating moment, I've dedicated myself to raising awareness about this critical issue because fentanyl poisoning has become the leading cause of death among America's young adults. I invite you to find out more about Emily's Hope and how you can get involved by visiting the show notes of this podcast.

While you're there, please consider giving the podcast a positive review and sharing it with friends and family. Together we can make a difference and prevent more losses like mine.

 (MUSIC UP!) 

[00:18:16] Angela Kennecke: And life for you. So you're, you're using the substances and I wanna move on to another chapter of your life where you found yourself the victim of blackmail what happened?

[00:18:27] Nadia Davis: My ex-husband of 12 years at the height of my professional career a suit and heels at an event pleeing for the kids in Santa Ana and walked away. He tracked me down and we went on our first date, and the rest is history. I became pregnant.

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[00:18:48] Angela Kennecke: Nadia then married that man, bill Laier, who at the time was the Attorney General of California. The wedding and pregnancy made headlines across the state, but behind the scenes, Nadia was struggling with substances.

 (MUSIC UP!) 

[00:19:12] Nadia Davis: During that time experimented with a drug. I stopped when I found out that I was pregnant. We had our oldest son, Diego. and life went on. The chronic pain, the flashbacks and the loss, the, the non-G grieving, everything kept coming back and I couldn't ignore it anymore. 

And my drinking had been manageable. Started to increase and my ex-husband really didn't know, didn't have an ability to be there emotionally. We had no friendship at the time and I focused on our son landed a wonderful job helping others leading the Alameda County Family Justice Center. Was encouraged to run for higher office for county supervisor. And in the midst of all of that, I sought help drinking and a man while my husband and I were separated, 

did get in an intimate relationship with him for a short time and that man took intimate photos. And began a series of multiple of psychological terror on me and my family.

Somehow the media got a hold of photos. He took a local reporter them and not believing I had go for help. Believed that that man was the only one that could stop it. Based on the messages that he was sending to me, didn't know who was doing any of it.

We were blackmailed. I was threatened, you're gonna go viral um, if you don't reply, and things of that sort from unrecognizable number on and on. I, I did not understand what was, happening. 

At that time, One reporter in particular, made it into a drug and sex scandal, and my husband and I, became separated. wanted it really all to just go away and was not able to. hold space where I could feel, heard and loved and accepted where we could heal. And that absolutely was the time in my life that was the most traumatic and the most difficult to to, recover from.

[00:21:39] Angela Kennecke: Yeah, I was gonna ask you about the aftermath of all that, you know, being caught up in, he's in the public eye, you had a high profile job and position, and then being blackmailed, being I mean, it just had to be devastating to feel like where could you run and hide? You couldn't. Right. 

and Now you're talking about it. So what, in hindsight, or looking back cuz it's been a little while, do you think of it now

[00:22:04] Nadia Davis: that our true self is whole and complete. and it is unchanged by anything anybody said or done to us. Including ourselves and that that is not real life, that this is real life. Yet understanding. the power of shaming and the. the importance of compassion.

When we do talk about other people's struggles the importance of looking behind somebody's behavior and posing the question, wow, I wonder what's going on? And using it as a a platform to talk about mental health awareness, to talk about trauma, to talk about the epidemic of addiction. that's what I want people to know.

[00:22:58] Angela Kennecke: do you have compassion for the man that did that to you? The person who blackmailed you 

[00:23:03] Nadia Davis: yes.

[00:23:03] Angela Kennecke: Huh?

[00:23:04] Nadia Davis: Today. Today I do. And found somewhat that space, not only through 12 step mainly through Kundalini yoga and in Kundalini yoga. yoga in the chronic pain and trauma recovery. I was not able to do any of those until I was able to feel safe and calm within my body and the process of breath work and use of sound I finally was able to reach a state in meditation that was close enough the space I entered in the near death car accident where past, present, and future are all combined and everything really makes sense. 

And in that is where I found the space to realize that man's undone work and is going on in his psyche, whatever is, the cruelty and the darkness that he has brought to many people's lives that I was strong enough. to carry it. It brought me to suicidality, yet it was the press coverage that did, that made it extremely difficult to rebuild my life because I I placed importance on what was said, and so I was able to get to to that place of forgiveness well as connecting to my truth. Through Kundalini Yuga,

[00:24:32] Angela Kennecke: That's fascinating. I try to meditate myself. I've done yoga for a lot of years. I'm not very good at it, but I haven't, I haven't done Kundalini yoga specifically. a great meditator, I try. 

What advice do you have for people who are, who have been through a lot of trauma? They've been through loss just like you. you I mean, I think your story of the, of the blackmail and the betrayal is most haven't been through that and being in the public eye and having that happen to them, that had to be. awful. 

But a lot of other things that you're talking about, sexual abuse, grief, addiction, what do you recommend the people do to try to find some kind of healing within themselves?

[00:25:10] Nadia Davis: Start with your breath. Start simple with your breath and create a space that's just yours in your home. 

Secondly, don't beat yourself up for not being able to shut your mind up. it's impossible. Start having conversations with your thoughts A huge first step is to realize that we are not our thoughts.  start conversing with them asking if, a message from your soul it's your mind and survival mode, and slowly, slowly, you can build a home within you.

[00:25:47] Angela Kennecke: explain Kundalini yoga. For our listeners who may not know

[00:25:52] Nadia Davis: Kundalini sounds like a rollercoaster.

and Kundalini yoga is a whole that includes sound, breath, and movement and mantra to fully integrate the whole body into a state. Of calm, enlightenment and more. And frankly, i, needed a bridge between my body and thoughts and meditation, and what Kundalini yoga has is it always uses mantra and or sound. And so for me that that was the middle point where I was able to begin to quiet So Kundalini yoga also I need to point out, has a multitude of specifically designed as either for a part of the body. whether it be the kidneys, the adderal glands a part of our mind, whether positive, negative, also the spiritual path. 

[00:26:57] Angela Kennecke: And has it helped keep you in recovery as well? I've heard a lot of good things about Yoga for recovery.

[00:27:02] Nadia Davis: Yes, absolutely. I offer it. on the beach, on

[00:27:07] Angela Kennecke: Well, I wish I was closer to you. I'd come to the beach

[00:27:11] Nadia Davis: I will be doing, I will be offering it online also I did in the past. Yeah,

[00:27:16] Angela Kennecke: that's great.

[00:27:17] Nadia Davis: absolutely it helps with recovery. again, you know, it's shame and our attacking thoughts that separate us from each other and from. Really diving in and, and being brutally honest with ourselves and others. And so found that the breath work and finding a space between my soul and my mind was really where real recovery work began.

[00:27:48] Angela Kennecke: That's a beautiful thought

[00:27:49] Nadia Davis: I just wanna thank you for sharing your story. I know parts of it are really difficult and hard to get through. I'm sure it's still difficult to talk about some of those things and appreciate you sharing your insight that you've gained through your practice of kundalini Yoga too. thank you. 

[00:28:06] Angela Kennecke: you for joining me. 

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[00:28:08] Angela Kennecke: Nadia has written a book about her experiences and how she was able to find peace and recovery despite all those difficult times. Her book is titled, home Is Within You, A Memoir of Recovery and Redemption. You can find more information about it by checking out the show notes on this podcast. I hope you found this episode both informative and enlightening.

Please check out our other episodes of Grieving Out Loud as well as our website, Emily's Hope Charity to see how you can get involved in our mission. Our aim is to create a supportive community where you can find solace and strength in sharing painful experiences, knowing you are not alone. Together we can help others facing trying times.

Thanks again for listening. Until next time, wishing you faith, hope, and courage. This podcast is produced Casey Wonnenberg-King and Anna Fey.

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